The Sentera Sisters


At the moment, Orvel is running. Frantically. Desperately. Pathetically. He has only one thought on his mind: MUST GET THERE IN TIME.

There was a time when Orvel had dignity. But not anymore. Orvel sacrificed his dignity a long time ago, and willingly. He considered it a small price to pay.

MUST GET THERE IN TIME, Orvel is thinking.

Some time ago, when Orvel still had dignity, he interviewed for a job at a monstrously large company called Conglomicor. He got the job, but he almost didn’t. Of the candidates interviewed, he was the second choice. The first choice decided they didn’t want the job after all. So Orvel got the job. Had he not got the job, he might have lived happily ever after, more or less. But Orvel got the job.

It was one of those dreary office jobs involving a cubicle and a computer and a telephone and data entry and a stapler. You know the type.

Orvel got to know the employee stationed in the cubicle next to him pretty well. They became almost like friends.

Then Orvel’s cubicle neighbor transferred to another branch of Conglomicor. The ex-cubicle-neighbor’s replacement was hired shortly thereafter. Her name was and is Sara Sentera.

Upon meeting Sara for the first time, Orvel became very infatuated with her. He found her beautiful. He found a lot of women beautiful, but there was something about Sara’s beauty that made Orvel feel all kinds of wonderful inside. He wanted Sara Sentera badly.

A few seconds after Orvel and Sara were introduced to each other, Sara said to Orvel: “That’s a nice shirt you have on. My boyfriend has one just like it.”

Orvel was devastated. Sara Sentera had broken his heart. It wouldn’t be the last time this would occur.

Although Orvel knew Sara had a boyfriend, his infatuation with Sara only became stronger over the next several months. Which was strange because, during that time, Sara had revealed herself to have many characteristics that would repel others: callousness; coldness; selfishness. But for some reason, those characteristics only fueled Orvel’s infatuation even more.

One workday, Orvel ended up stuck at work very late. It seemed like he was the only employee still in the building.

Then he heard a faint sound of crying coming from Sara’s cubicle. He went to her cubicle, where Sara was sitting and crying.

“Are you okay?” Orvel said.

“No, I’m not okay,” Sara said. “My boyfriend and I have been arguing so much lately. I don’t even want to go home, because he’ll be there, and all we do is argue, and I know if I go home I’ll just get into another argument with him. And I don’t want that to happen.”

“So you’re just going to stay here all night?” Orvel said.

“Yes,” Sara said. “Will you keep me company?”

“Okay,” Orvel said, trying to conceal just how ecstatic he was feeling at that moment.

That night, Orvel got to know Sara pretty well. She talked and talked and talked and talked about herself for hours. Then, when she was tired of talking about herself, she initiated an affair with Orvel.

That was how Sara and Orvel’s secret affair began. Over the next few months, they had many late nights at the office together, all of which transpired much like that first night.

Orvel was quite happy during that time. It didn’t bother him that Sara was still with her boyfriend and had no plans to break up with him. Nor did it bother Orvel that Sara never asked Orvel any questions about him. Orvel was just content to be with Sara.

Then one night, in Sara’s cubicle, Sara told Orvel that she didn’t want to continue their secret affair anymore; that she and her boyfriend were going to get married.

Orvel was devastated. He begged and begged and begged Sara to not do this. But Sara’s mind was made up.

The next day at work, Orvel overheard Sara cheerfully telling a co-worker about the engagement. Hearing that made Orvel depressed. He took the rest of the day off.

He started taking off from work on a dangerously frequent basis. Eventually, he was fired.

Maybe it’s for the best, Orvel thought. Maybe being removed from that environment will help me get over Sara, Orvel thought.

Several months passed. He still thought about her every day, but the misery was beginning to subside. The wound was healing.

Then one day, earlier today, he looked at the calendar hanging in his apartment. Today’s date seemed familiar to him, but he didn’t know why.

Then he suddenly remembered why.

Several months ago, before he got fired, he was overhearing a conversation between Sara and another co-worker about Sara’s wedding plans.

“When is the wedding day?” the co-worker said.

Sara told the co-worker the date she and her boyfriend were going to get married on. Sara also told the co-worker where the wedding would take place.

That’s why today’s date looked familiar to Orvel: today is Sara’s wedding day.

Upon that realization, all of Orvel’s progress over the last several months evaporated. He bolted out of his apartment, heading to the church where the wedding is going to take place, intent on stopping it.

So Orvel is running. Frantically. Desperately. Pathetically. With one thought on his mind: MUST GET THERE IN TIME.

He sees the church. He is running toward it, hoping he is not too late.

He goes into the church, which is full of seated people attending Sara and her boyfriend’s wedding. At the other end of the church, Sara and her boyfriend are standing at the altar, facing a priest, who is conducting the wedding rituals.

“Sara!” Orvel says, screaming. “Don’t do it! It’s not him you love! It’s me you love! Me! You just don’t realize it yet!”

Orvel is now running down the aisle, toward Sara, intending to further plead his case. However, when he gets to there, Sara’s boyfriend punches Orvel in the face before he can say anything further. Orvel falls to the ground.

Dazed, Orvel sees Sara and her boyfriend and the priest. They are all looking down at Orvel.

“Who is this guy, Sara?” Sara’s boyfriend says.

“He’s nobody,” Sara says. “He’s just some loser who used to work at Conglomicor. He had a hopeless crush on me when he was there. He asked me out dozens of times. I made it clear to him that I wasn’t interested in him, but he just wouldn’t give up. He’s obsessed with me.”

“Can someone please get this wacko out of here?” Sara’s boyfriend says. “He’s ruining our wedding.”

Four other men collectively pick Orvel up by his arms and legs and begin carrying him out of the church. As Orvel is being carried away from Sara, he hears the priest say: “Shall we continue?”

Then Orvel hears Sara say: “Yes. Let’s continue.”

Orvel then hears the completion of Sara and her boyfriend’s wedding.

The four men who are carrying Orvel bring him far away from the church. Orvel is deposited on to the ground. Three of the four men who were carrying Orvel begin heading back to the church, but the other man remains behind.

“She got to you too, huh?” the man says. “I know what you’re going through. My name’s Todd. I’m one of Sara’s ex-boyfriends.”

Todd invites Orvel to have coffee with him.

Later, Todd and Orvel are sitting at a table in a coffee shop, having coffee.

“I loved her so much,” Orvel says. “I loved her so much and she acted like she and I never had any relationship. She called me a loser. And the worst thing about it is, despite everything that’s happened, I still love her. All I can hope is that maybe someday she’ll realize she’s made a mistake and she’ll divorce her husband for me.”

Todd shakes his head dismissively. “She’s a Sentera,” Todd says. “Senteras don’t get divorced.”

“How can you be so sure about that?” Orvel says.

“I was Sara Sentera’s boyfriend for two years,” Todd says. “She told me all about herself and her family: their culture; their values; their beliefs. Trust me when I tell you that Sara will never get divorced. It’s a lost cause.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” Orvel says.

“No, I’m telling you this to help you get over her,” Todd says. “Because all you can do now is move on, like I did after she dumped me.”

“But have you moved on?” Orvel says. “You were at her wedding. That doesn’t sound like you’ve moved on to me.”

“After Sara dumped me, she wanted to keep me in her life as a platonic friend,” Todd says. “So that’s what we are now: just friends. I’ll admit, when I agreed to be just friends with her, it was really just an excuse to stay a part of her life, in the hope that she might take me back someday. But over time, I got over her. And you can get over her too.”

“I don’t know if I can do that,” Orvel says. “I don’t even know if I want to. If I stay hung up on her, then at least there’s maybe a chance we could get back together someday. But if I got over her, truly got over her, then that’s it: all hope will be lost; me and my soul mate will never get back together.”

“She’s not your soul mate,” Todd says. “She’s no one’s soul mate. She’s just one of many attractive women in this universe.”

“You’re wrong,” Orvel says. “You only say that because you haven’t met your soul mate yet. You don’t know what it feels like. To you, Sara is just some random pretty woman. But to me, she’s special. She embodies literally everything I want in a mate. To me, she’s a unique goddess who can never be replaced or forgotten.”

Todd laughs. “She’s really not that special,” Todd says. “In fact, she’s not unique at all. Here, let me show you something.”

Todd takes his wallet out of his jacket. From his wallet, he takes out a small photograph. He hands the photograph to Orvel.

In the photograph are nine beautiful women, all of whom look exactly like Sara Sentera.

“The one on the far left is Sara,” Todd says. “And the rest are her identical sisters. Sara is a nonuplet.”

“There’s… eight more of her?” Orvel says. “I mean, she has eight identical sisters?”

“Yes,” Todd says. “I met Sara’s sisters only one time, at the event that this photograph was taken at. I’ve kept it to remind myself just how non-unique Sara really is. This photograph was what helped me finally get over her. And now I’m giving it to you.”

“She never told me she has eight identical sisters,” Orvel says. “She talked so much about herself, but she never mentioned that.”

“I’m not surprised,” Todd says. “Sara hates her sisters. She never likes to talk about them. She’d prefer it if they never existed. All the Sentera sisters hate each other. They’ve always hated each other. This photograph was taken by one of their relatives. The event was a Sentera family reunion. You wouldn’t believe the amount of efforts that were made to get all nine of them to appear in a photograph together.”

“What are their names?” Orvel says.

“Why do you ask?” Todd says.

“I’m just curious,” Orvel says.

“Their names are Samantha and Sabrina and Sandra and Selena and Simona and Sonya and Severia and Sustranna,” Todd says.

Orvel commits the eight names to memory: Samantha and Sabrina and Sandra and Selena and Simona and Sonya and Severia and Sustranna.

“Are any of them married?” Orvel says.

“I don’t think so,” Todd says, confused. “They were all single since I last heard.”

Eight more chances to get her to love me back, Orvel thinks.

“Where do Sara’s sisters live?” Orvel says.

“I don’t know,” Todd says. “I really know very little about them. Why are you asking me all these questions about them?”

“I have to leave,” Orvel says, getting up. He leaves the coffee shop.

Now Orvel is running. Frantically. Desperately. Pathetically. He is heading back to his apartment to figure out what his next move will be. The names repeat in his mind over and over again: Sara and Samantha and Sabrina and Sandra and Selena and Simona and Sonya and Severia and Sustranna. The Sentera sisters. They have him in their clutches, knowingly or unknowingly, and forever. His quest for another Sentera sister has begun.


In the late evening, Orvel is sleeping in a bed in a motel room located far, far away from his home. The motel room is located in a town which, according to Orvel’s research results, is where a woman named Samantha Sentera lives. Orvel arrived in the town earlier tonight, exhausted. Desperately in need of sleep, the first thing he did upon arrival was check into the motel and go to sleep.

Now he is sleeping. And dreaming. In his dream, Orvel is standing in an open meadow that seems to go on forever in every direction, with no end in sight. The sky above Orvel is blue and cloudless.

In the distance, someone is running towards Orvel. It is a beautiful woman. She is barefoot and wearing a white dress and smiling at Orvel.

But it is not just any beautiful woman. She looks exactly like a woman Orvel used to have an affair with: Sara Sentera. Sara recently ended her affair with Orvel and got married to her boyfriend. Sara now wants nothing to do with Orvel.

The beautiful woman running towards Orvel in his dream also looks exactly like each of Sara’s identical sisters: Samantha and Sandra and Sustranna and Severia and Selena and and Sonya and Sabrina and Simona. Orvel only recently learned of the existence of these eight Sentera sisters who look exactly like Sara. Sara never mentioned them to him, nor has Orvel ever met any of them, only knowing what they look like from a photograph he saw. Upon further research, Orvel learned that, out of all of Sara’s identical sisters, Samantha lives the closest to him. Hence his reason for traveling to the town he is now in.

In Orvel’s dream, the Sentera sister reaches her destination: Orvel. They embrace each other.

“I love you,” Orvel says.

“I love you too, Orvel,” the Sentera sister says. “I love you so much.”

“Wait,” Orvel says. “Which Sentera sister are you?”

“Does it matter?” the Sentera sister says.

After a few seconds, Orvel says: “No. I suppose it really doesn’t matter.”

“Kiss me, Orvel,” the Sentera sister says. “Kiss me.”

As Orvel is leaning in to kiss her, a unicorn suddenly gallops by behind her.

“Oh no…” Orvel says. “No… not that. Please, not that.”

The Sentera sister is smirking now. “That’s right,” she says. “Unicorns aren’t real. Which means none of this is real either, Orvel.”

“No, please, not that!” Orvel says. “This has to be real! It has to be! I want you so badly!”

“This is all just a dream, Orvel,” the Sentera sister says. “And in real life, I will never love you back. Not if I’m Sara or Sandra or Severia or Sabrina or Sonya or Sustranna or Simona or Samantha or Selena. I will never love you back. Never.”

The Sentera sister fades away.

“Come back!” Orvel says. “Come back!”

Then Orvel wakes up, alone.


During an afternoon, Orvel enters a flower shop located far, far away from his home.

One of the flower shop’s employees, a beautiful woman named Samantha Sentera, is standing at the counter, absentmindedly listening to music playing on a nearby radio. Even though Orvel is the only other person in the flower shop right now, Samantha has not seemed to notice his presence.

Orvel walks up to Samantha, looking very, very surprised. “Sara?” he says. “Sara Sentera? Is that really you? I can’t believe you’re here! You live here now? I’m just visiting this town on my vacation. Wow, what are the odds that we would run into each other in this town of all places? This is amazing! I’m so happy to see you!”

Samantha, who appears bored and uninterested in anything Orvel has to say, slowly rolls her eyes, then responds: “I’m not Sara. I’m her sister Samantha.”

Orvel appears stunned. “Really?” he says. “You’re not joking?”

“Do I look like I’m joking?” Samantha says.

“Wow… this is amazing,” Orvel says. “Sara never told me she has an identical sister.”

“She has eight identical sisters,” Samantha says.

“Eight?” Orvel says, still acting surprised.

“Yes,” Samantha says.

“I can’t believe Sara never mentioned this to me,” Orvel says.

“It doesn’t surprise me,” Samantha says. “I’m sure Sara would prefer it if people didn’t know she has any sisters. Sara hates all her sisters. And we all hate her, and each other.” Suddenly, Samantha gets an expression of mild interest on her face. “How do you know Sara?” Samantha says.

“She’s my ex-girlfriend,” Orvel says.

“Really?” Samantha says, with a hint of cruelty in her voice. “Did she dump you?”

“No, I dumped her actually,” Orvel says, lying.

“You dumped her?” Samantha says.

“Yes,” Orvel says.

“Wow, that seems so… unlikely,” Samantha says. “Why did you dump her?”

“She just wasn’t right for me,” Orvel says. “I mean, I found her beautiful. Very, very beautiful. But she was lacking in substance. She was just too… too…”

“Shallow?” Samantha says.

“Yes, shallow,” Orvel says.

“Yes, Sara always was very shallow, as I remember,” Samantha says, obviously pleased with Orvel’s assessment of her sister.

“I prefer women who are deep,” Orvel says. “Women who are into things like philosophy and politics and art.”

“I’m into art,” Samantha says.

“Really?” Orvel says, acting surprised.

“Yes,” Samantha says. “I like to paint pictures. I paint lots of pictures. I’ve even sold a few.”

“Wow,” Orvel says. “You must be really talented.”

“Not talented enough to make a living off it,” Samantha says. “That’s why I work in this horrible flower shop. I’m around flowers all day. And I hate flowers.”

“I’d love to see some of your paintings sometime,” Orvel says.

“How about tonight?” Samantha says.

“Okay!” Orvel says, hoping this isn’t just a dream.

Samantha writes down her home address on a piece of paper, then gives it to Orvel. “Stop by my place around 7,” she says. “I’ll show you my paintings.”

“Looking forward to it,” Orvel says, trying to not sound too excited. “See you then.”

Orvel leaves the flower shop, flowerless. He begins heading back to the motel he is staying at.

A few years earlier, Orvel saw a movie about a man who accidentally discovers a portal to an alternate universe. The alternate universe is much like the man’s own universe, with only subtle differences. In this alternate universe, he meets an alternate version of his ex-girlfriend. The ex-girlfriend of his own universe hates him and wants nothing more to do with him, even though he is still in love with her. However, he manages to get this alternate version of her to fall in love with him and they live happily ever after.

After Sara dumped Orvel, Orvel thought about this movie often, wishing he could find an alternate version of Sara, a version that might love him back. Then he found out about the existence of Sara’s eight estranged, identical sisters. To Orvel, they are eight alternate versions of Sara, eight additional chances to get her to love him back. That is why he traveled to this town where Samantha Sentera lives. He is determined to win her love. I won’t screw things up with her this time, he thinks.

Back at the flower shop, Samantha’s boyfriend Heath enters. “Ready to go?” Heath says.

“I can’t go out with you tonight,” Samantha says.

“Why not?” Heath says.

“I’m having some loser come to my apartment tonight,” Samantha says. “He’s obviously very attracted to me, so I’m going to manipulate him into buying some of my paintings.”

Heath grins. “You’re so devious,” he says.

Heath and Samantha kiss each other.


During an evening, Orvel is walking to the home of a beautiful woman named Samantha Sentera. Orvel is carrying roses that he recently purchased. He bought the roses for Samantha. Orvel has been madly infatuated with Samantha for quite some time.

Samantha works at a flower shop, but she is also an artist, specifically a painter. She has created many paintings, most of which have been purchased by Orvel. Orvel would buy anything from Samantha. He has lost a very significant portion of his savings due to his purchases of Samantha’s paintings. He expects to lose even more in the near future, as he is going to meet Samantha at her home tonight so she can show her newest painting to him. Orvel already knows he will purchase it, no matter how mediocre it is. Orvel sometimes wonders how many more of Samantha’s paintings he will have to buy before she begins to love him back.

Unfortunately for Orvel, Samantha is in a steady relationship with someone else, a man named Heath. Samantha, who is very aware of Orvel’s infatuation with her, has told Orvel that she wants to be just platonic friends with him, at least for now, until she figures out her feelings for Heath. This has led Orvel to think that there exists a possibility that he and Samantha might end up living happily ever after together. For that reason, Orvel continues to romantically pursue Samantha, and continues to buy paintings from her.

Orvel arrives at the front door of Samantha’s home. He knocks on the door. Samantha lets him in.

“These are for you,” Orvel says, holding out the roses to Samantha.

Samantha takes the roses. “Thanks,” she says. “You’re such a good friend to me, Orvel.” She absent-mindedly puts the roses with all the other roses Orvel has recently bought her.

“Have you been crying?” Orvel says, noticing Samantha’s eyes.

“Yes,” Samantha says. Suddenly, she starts sobbing uncontrollably. She grabs onto Orvel, squeezing him tightly, and begins crying into his shoulder.

“What’s wrong?” Orvel says, acting concerned, but secretly glad to be getting squeezed by Samantha, and to have her head on his shoulder.

“Oh Orvel, it’s terrible!” Samantha says. “I found out Heath has been cheating on me!

“He has?” Orvel says, acting saddened, but secretly delighted that Heath and Samantha’s relationship is apparently in trouble.

“Yes!” Samantha says. “I caught him today with another woman in his bedroom. He tried to act like it wasn’t a big deal. He said it doesn’t count as cheating because he doesn’t love the woman he’s been cheating on me with. He actually tried to act like I was being irrational for being angry with him! Can you believe that? He’s such a jerk! Why are all men such jerks?”

“We’re not all jerks, Samantha,” Orvel says.

“Yes, you’re right, Orvel,” Samantha says. “You’re not a jerk. You’ve always been good to me.” Suddenly, Samantha begins kissing Orvel.

Later, after Orvel and Samantha have consummated their apparent relationship, they are laying together on the floor in the living room of Samantha’s home.

It’s finally happening, Orvel thinks, convinced he’s obtained Samantha’s love, convinced he and Samantha will live happily ever after together, convinced he won’t have to buy any more of Samantha’s horrible paintings.

That will show Heath, Samantha thinks. She expects Heath will become insanely jealous when he finds out about her meaningless intimate encounter with Orvel. She suspects that Heath, having gotten a taste of his own medicine, will beg her forgiveness and promise to never cheat on her with anyone else ever again.

Feeling better, Samantha turns to Orvel. “Let’s go to the basement now,” Samantha says.

“What’s in the basement?” Orvel says.

“My newest painting,” Samantha says.


Today, in a flower shop, its only employee currently on duty, a beautiful woman named Samantha Sentera, is standing at the counter. Also in the flower shop is a man named Orvel. Moments ago, Samantha informed Orvel that she is going to get married to her boyfriend Heath. Orvel is reacting poorly to this news.

“I don’t understand!” Orvel says. “I thought you were going to break up with him!”

“I never said that,” Samantha says. “That was just wishful thinking on your part. Heath proposed to me last night and I said yes. Our wedding is tomorrow.”

“But he cheated on you!” Orvel says.

“Yes, and I cheated on him, with you,” Samantha says.

“But he cheated on you first!” Orvel says. “And he’ll cheat on you again!”

“Heath and I have had our problems,” Samantha says. “But he’s a changed man now.”

“How can you say that?” Orvel says. “It’s been less than a week since you found out he was cheating on you!”

“Heath realizes now what he did was wrong, and he promised to never get caught cheating on me again,” Samantha says.

“Samantha, you’re making a big mistake!” Orvel says.

“Heath told me you would say that,” Samantha says.

“He’s a jerk!” Orvel says. “He doesn’t appreciate you or love you like I do! It’s me you belong with, Samantha! Me!”

“Orvel, Heath and I both think it would be best if you and I never saw each other again,” Samantha says. “Heath doesn’t like you, and wants me to stay away from you. And I should honor his wishes. He is my future husband after all. So this is goodbye.”

Later, Orvel is walking back to the motel where he has been staying ever since he relocated to this town as part of his romantic pursuit of Samantha Sentera. He is feeling sad, but not defeated. He has not given up just yet.

Orvel enters his motel room. Much to his surprise, Samantha’s boyfriend Heath and four large men are in the motel room. Two of the large men grab Orvel, then hold him down while one of the other large men punches Orvel repeatedly.

“Hello, Orvel,” Heath says.

“How did you get in here?” Orvel says.

“The woman at the front desk let us in,” Heath says. “I told her we’re friends of yours and wanted to have a surprise party for you in your motel room. It’s amazing what women will believe if you’re attractive and charming.”

“What do you want?” Orvel says.

“My friends and I are here to stop you from ruining my wedding tomorrow,” Heath says. “I know how obsessed you are with Samantha, and I know you intend to disrupt the wedding ceremony tomorrow as part of some last desperate attempt to convince Samantha to marry you instead of me. Initially, I was going to have my friends keep you here until the wedding is over. But then I thought: ‘Why should my friends have to miss my wedding just because of some loser who’s obsessed with Samantha?’ So I came up with a better idea.”

Heath nods at the large man who had been punching Orvel. The large man goes into another room, then returns carrying a very large can.

“There’s more where that came from,” Heath says. “I wasn’t sure how much plaster I would need, so I bought several cans of it. Don’t worry though, Orvel: my friends will release you from your plaster prison, after I’ve married Samantha. Let’s begin, shall we?”

Orvel tries to break free of the large men’s grip, but he can’t.

The following morning, a few hours before the wedding is to occur, Heath and Samantha enter the ballroom where they will be getting married.

“So what is this big surprise you wanted to show me so badly?” Samantha says.

“This,” Heath says, pointing to the surprise. “I made it for you last night.”

It is a large, man-shaped figure made out of plaster. The figure is wearing a tuxedo and a top hat, the type of clothes someone might wear to a wedding.

Samantha is amazed. “You made this for me?” she says.

“Well, you’re always making beautiful paintings for me as gifts,” Heath says. “I figured I should return the favor with an artistic gift of my own.”

“It’s wonderful!” Samantha says. She hugs and kisses Heath. “I love you so much, Heath!” Samantha says.

“And I love you, Samantha,” Heath says.

Heath smirks at the plaster figure.

Inside the plaster figure, Orvel wants to scream, but he can’t. Before covering Orvel in plaster, Heath taped Orvel’s mouth shut. Orvel can’t move at all either, as the plaster is keeping him stuck in one position. All Orvel can do is watch Samantha and Heath through the tiny, barely visible holes Heath poked in the plaster figure’s head so that Orvel can breathe, and also so that Orvel will see Heath getting married to Samantha.

Later that day, Heath and Samantha get married in a ceremony that is enjoyed by all but one of the guests in attendance. Inside his plaster prison, Orvel knows Samantha is forever out of his reach: Samantha is a Sentera, and Senteras never get divorced, no matter how horrible their spouses turn out to be.


Orvel is living in a mansion and he is miserable. The mansion belongs to Orvel’s rich, plump girlfriend Keeka. Keeka became rich by winning a lottery some time ago. She became plump by eating many, many fattening foods.

Orvel has been living with Keeka in her mansion for several weeks. He moved into the mansion per Keeka’s request. Prior to that, they had only known each other for a few days.

Orvel doesn’t find Keeka attractive, but it has nothing to do with her being overweight. The truth is, Orvel no longer finds any women attractive except women who look like or are a woman named Sara Sentera. Orvel had been involved with Sara some time ago. But that’s over now. Sara is married to someone else now and wants nothing more to do with Orvel. But he is still obsessed with her. He would do anything to get her back, and to get her to love him like she never did before. That’s why Orvel has gotten into a relationship with Keeka. It is all part of Orvel’s plan.

Keeka, of course, is oblivious to Orvel’s true intentions. Keeka thinks that Orvel actually loves her, and she is hopeful that he will be issuing a marriage proposal to her soon.

At the moment, it is morning, and Orvel and Keeka are in Keeka’s mansion, laying together in Keeka’s bed.

“Oh Orvel, the last few weeks with you have been just wonderful,” Keeka says. “Being with you has really helped me get over all the horrible experiences I had with other men. You’re not unsupportive, like Gil was, or sleazy, like Andrew was, or in love with another woman, like Blake was. You’re everything those men were not! I love you so much!”

“And I love you, Keeka,” Orvel says, lying.

There was a time when Orvel would have felt bad about using Keeka to obtain the love of another woman. But Orvel is now too far gone in his obsession to feel guilt over such things.

“I was thinking that, now that we’re in a serious relationship, we should meet each other’s friends,” Orvel says.

“But darling, you’ve already met my friends,” Keeka says, referring to four of her rich female neighbors. “And you told me you don’t have any friends.”

“Yes, but I was thinking I could meet some of your other friends,” Orvel says.

“I don’t have any other friends,” Keeka says.

“What about that friend you mentioned the other night?” Orvel says. “Sabrina.”

“Sabrina Sentera?” Keeka says, confused. “I mentioned Sabrina Sentera to you? That’s weird. I don’t remember telling you about Sabrina.”

“Well, you were very drunk that night,” Orvel says. “You told me a lot of stuff that you probably don’t remember telling me now.”

“I guess,” Keeka says, still baffled.

“So how about you introduce me to Sabrina?” Orvel says.

“I don’t know,” Keeka says. “I haven’t spoken with Sabrina in quite some time. We lost touch after I won the lottery.”

“Well, now’s as good a time as any to get back in touch with her,” Orvel says.

“Yes, I suppose you’re right,” Keeka says, now mildly baffled by Orvel’s insistence. “I’ll give her a call today. Perhaps we can all have dinner together.”

“Yes, that would be lovely,” Orvel says, trying to not appear too excited.

“You’ll find her very interesting,” Keeka says. “She’s a nonuplet.”

“Really?” Orvel says, acting surprised. “She has eight identical sisters?”

“Yes,” Keeka says. “I never met any of them though. Sabrina is estranged from them. And her sisters are all estranged from each other as well. According to Sabrina, they all hate each other. Though I sometimes suspect that Sabrina doesn’t actually have any identical sisters; that she just made them up.”

“Really?” Orvel says. “Why do you think that?”

“Well, I’ve never seen any pictures of her sisters,” Keeka says. “Sabrina said she doesn’t keep any pictures of them because she hates them, but it sounds a little dubious to me.”

“Yes, that does sound dubious,” Orvel says, even though he knows that Sabrina’s eight identical sisters are very, very real.

After Sara Sentera got married to someone else, Orvel learned about the existence of Sara’s eight estranged, identical sisters: Samantha and Sabrina and Sandra and Selena and Simona and Sonya and Severia and Sustranna. To Orvel, they are eight other versions of Sara. Eight more chances to get her to love me back, he thought.

Though it is only seven more chances now. He tried to win the love of Sara’s sister Samantha, but failed. Like Sara, Samantha is now married to someone else and wants nothing more to do with Orvel. So now, Orvel is pursuing the love of Sabrina.

This time, Orvel is trying a different approach. Convinced that Sabrina is exactly like Sara and Samantha personality-wise, Orvel expects Sabrina to be petty, shallow, flaky, cruel, thoughtless, spiteful, and the type of woman who would initiate an affair with her friend’s boyfriend. Orvel intends for Keeka to be that friend, and for him to be that boyfriend. He intends to manipulate Sabrina into initiating an affair with him, and eventually falling in love with him, the way that Sara and Samantha never did. It is all part of Orvel’s plan.

Orvel kisses Keeka, imagining that she is a Sentera sister. This time things will turn out differently, he thinks, trying to ignore his uncertainty.


During an evening, in the mansion of a rich, plump woman named Keeka, Keeka introduces a visitor, her beautiful female friend Sabrina, to Keeka’s live-in boyfriend Orvel.

There is the woman I’m going to marry, Orvel thinks, already madly obsessed with Sabrina.

What an unattractive loser, Sabrina thinks, relieved that her so-called friend Keeka’s boyfriend isn’t anything for Sabrina to be jealous about.

“Nice to meet you, Orvel,” Sabrina says.

“And very nice to meet you, Sabrina,” Orvel says.

“Let’s sit down and have dinner, shall we?” Keeka says, completely oblivious to Orvel’s desire for her friend.

They all go into the mansion’s dining room.


Today, in a very upper-class neighborhood, five of the neighborhood’s rich female residents are having lunch together in a fancy restaurant. Their names are Miona, Nella, Fawna, Tabeeza, and Keeka. They are a social clique known as the Swans.

The Swans are very, very popular. They are always invited to the most exclusive parties and have a strong influence on the opinions of the neighborhood’s other residents. All of the neighborhood’s other female residents want to be Swans.

Today, the Swans are discussing the possibility of giving another woman the opportunity to be a candidate for Swan membership. Currently, there are no candidates. The most recent candidate was Keeka, who is now a Swan.

Typically, the Swans refer to Swan candidates as Ducklings. However, for unspecified reasons, Keeka was referred to by the other Swans as an Ugly Duckling during Keeka’s time as a Swan membership candidate.

Candidates for Swan membership have to go through a mandatory hazing process in order to become Swans. This hazing process involves having to do whatever the Swans tell the candidate to do.

During Keeka’s time as a candidate for Swan membership, the other Swans subjected her to all kinds of tortures, including, but not limited to: making her carry all the Swans’ shopping bags during the Swans’ daily shopping spree; making her brush the Swans’ hair; making her clean the Swans’ entire mansions; pouring a bucket of very cold water on her; sticking used gum in her hair; making her crawl around on her hands and knees and bark like a dog in a crowded restaurant; pouring a bucket of mud on her; destroying all her clothes; making her eat a bar of soap; making her wear a plastic pig nose over her real nose at all times for an entire year; making her eat nothing but peanut butter, which she is highly allergic to, for an entire year; making her eat bugs; pouring a bucket of ants on her; drawing derogatory comments on her face, using ink that is very, very difficult to remove once applied; drawing a bullseye on her forehead, using that same ink, then making her stand in a very crowded public area while the Swans pelted her with tomatoes over and over again, trying to hit the bullseye; stealing her car, then destroying it; making her drink toilet water; and pouring a bucket of tar on her, then covering her with feathers.

Keeka was utterly miserable during her time as a Swan membership candidate. She is now greatly looking forward to subjecting someone else to the hazing process.

At the moment, in the restaurant, the Swans are discussing potential candidates: various rich women who live in the neighborhood. Keeka is fine with the idea of any of those women being selected, as long as Keeka can get to torture the chosen candidate, much like the other Swans tortured Keeka.

“Actually, I’m thinking we could do an unconventional selection this time,” one of the Swans, Fawna, says.

“What do you have in mind?” another Swan, Miona, says.

“Perhaps we can select that woman I met at Keeka’s party last night: Keeka’s friend Sabrina,” Fawna says.

Keeka is stunned. “Sabrina Sentera?” Keeka says.

“Yes,” Fawna says. “I found her quite charming. She has a lot of the qualities we look for in potential candidates.”

“But she’s not rich!” Keeka says. “And she doesn’t even live in the neighborhood!”

Seeing how obviously upset Keeka is by the idea of her friend Sabrina potentially becoming a Swan makes the other Swans even more interested in going forward with this idea.

“So what?” one of the Swans, Tabeeza, says. “Those were never prerequisites for Swan membership candidacy.”

“I agree,” another Swan, Nella, says. “Let’s vote on it, shall we?”

Of course, Keeka is outvoted.

“Then it’s settled: we’ll select Sabrina to be the next Duckling,” Miona says.

Keeka, trying to see a bright side to this situation, says: “At least I’ll get the opportunity to subject Sabrina to lots of torture. I’ve got all kinds of ideas as to what we could do to her. I know she’s highly allergic to cherries. So I was thinking that we could-”

“Actually, I’m thinking we should abolish the hazing process,” Fawna says. “It’s really ridiculous and unnecessary, isn’t it?”

“What?” Keeka says, outraged. “Are you serious?”

“I agree with Fawna,” Tabeeza says.

“As do I,” Nella says. “Let’s vote on it, shall we?”

Of course, Keeka is outvoted.

“Fantastic!” Miona says. “We’ll let Sabrina know she’s been selected tomorrow, in a selection notification ceremony.”

Later, Keeka returns to her mansion, annoyed. She just wants to spend the evening with her live-in boyfriend Orvel and temporarily forget about what transpired in the restaurant.

Keeka enters her bedroom, looking for Orvel. Much to her surprise, she finds Orvel cheating on Keeka with Sabrina on Keeka’s bed.


Today, a man named Orvel is in an excellent mood. That is because he is currently in a romantic relationship with a beautiful woman named Sabrina Sentera. Orvel is madly in love with Sabrina, even though they’ve only been dating for a week. Orvel is certain that, as long as he sustains his relationship with Sabrina, he will be happy for the rest of his life.

At the moment, Orvel is walking toward Sabrina’s apartment to meet Sabrina for their next date. Outside of Sabrina’s apartment, Orvel knocks on its front door.

Sabrina opens the door. She is looking quite beautiful tonight.

“You are looking quite beautiful tonight,” Orvel says.

He leans in to kiss her. She backs away.

“What’s wrong?” Orvel says.

“Orvel, I have to break up with you,” Sabrina says.

Orvel is devastated. “What?” he says. “Why?”

“The Swans told me they will let me join their group, but only if I end my relationship with you,” Sabrina says.

The Swans are a very exclusive, very powerful social clique consisting of five rich women. They are very, very popular. Many, many women want to be Swans. Sabrina was recently selected to be a candidate for Swan membership.

“The Swans also said that if I ever get back together with you in the future, my Swan membership will be revoked,” Sabrina says. “So this is goodbye, Orvel.”

“But can’t you get them to change their minds?” Orvel says.

Sabrina shakes her head sadly. “The Swans all dislike you,” she says. “Especially Keeka.”

Keeka is Orvel’s ex-girlfriend.

“But surely, you can’t think that becoming a Swan is more important than our relationship!” Orvel says. “I love you! And you love me! Our relationship is more important than you getting to join some silly social clique!”

“‘Some silly social clique’?” Sabrina says, enraged. “How can you say that? Do you have any idea how much it means to me to become a Swan? The Swans were all right about you: you’re a thoughtless, insensitive, unsupportive monster!”

“But Sabrina, please-” Orvel says.

“Goodbye, Orvel!” Sabrina says. “I don’t love you anymore and I don’t want to ever see you again!”

Sabrina slams the door shut, then locks it. Orvel walks away sadly.

Later, in a lavish ceremony occurring in one of the Swans’ mansions, Sabrina becomes a Swan and simultaneously forgets all about Orvel. This is the happiest day of her life.


In an exotic, largely uncharted part of the world, there is a large island called Punvaria. A man named Orvel has been living on Punvaria for some time now. Orvel traveled to the island from his native land after learning that a beautiful woman named Sandra Sentera lives on Punvaria.

Sandra is a nonuplet. She has eight identical sisters, none of whom live on Punvaria, and all of whom are estranged from Sandra and each other.

Unbeknownst to Sandra, Orvel used to be involved with one of Sandra’s identical sisters, Sara Sentera. Sara is now married to someone else and wants nothing more to do with Orvel. But Orvel is still obsessed with her. He would do anything to get her back, and to get her to love him like she never did before.

After learning of the existence of Sara’s eight identical, estranged sisters, Orvel set out to win the love of any one of those Sentera sisters. He has been determined to get one of them to love him, much like Sara never did.

Thus far, Orvel’s quest has been unsuccessful. Orvel tried to win the love of Sara’s sister Samantha. It ended badly for Orvel. Orvel then tried to win the love of Sara’s sister Sabrina. It also ended badly for Orvel. Now, like Sara, both Samantha and Sabrina want nothing more to do with Orvel.

So Orvel is now on the island Punvaria, trying to win the love of Sara’s sister Sandra.

Prior to meeting Sandra, Orvel was expecting her to be just like the other Sentera sisters he’d encountered: petty, shallow; flaky; cruel; thoughtless; spiteful. Much to Orvel’s surprise though, he has found Sandra to be quite different: kind; thoughtful; generous.

Sandra, who has been involved with many different charitable organizations over the years, moved from her native land to Punvaria to help save an endangered species that is exclusive to the island: the Punvarian Worms.

The Punvarian Worms have been on the island since ancient times. Though the worms are in fact harmless to humans, they are generally feared and disliked. Most people who live on the island think of the Punvarian Worms as small, evil monsters.

In ancient times on Punvaria, the Punvarian government would sentence citizens who had been found guilty of crimes to a punishment known as the Punvarian Price: having to spend a predetermined amount of time in a sealed pit containing thousands of Punvarian Worms. This form of punishment was eventually discarded by the Punvarian government, but it is still widely remembered on the island.

Because of the widespread fear and dislike of Punvarian Worms, not much effort has been made to prevent this endangered species from becoming extinct. Since coming to the island, Sandra has been trying very hard to convince the people of Punvaria that the Punvarian Worms are part of Punvaria’s rich history, and that every effort should be made to save them.

Since coming to Punvaria to attempt to win Sandra’s love, Orvel has been heavily involved in Sandra’s efforts to save the Punvarian Worms, though Orvel’s motivation has nothing to do with the Punvarian Worms and everything to do with Sandra Sentera. In fact, Orvel secretly hates worms. The very thought of them makes him very uncomfortable.

Today, Orvel and Sandra are walking around the island together, distributing pamphlets in support of their movement. Orvel helped Sandra make these pamphlets last night.

“Oh Orvel, I’m so grateful that you’re here to help me with this,” Sandra says. “You’ve been such a tremendous help to my cause. I’m ever so grateful to you. I wish there was some way I could truly express to you how grateful I am.”

“Oh, I’m sure you’ll think of something,” Orvel says, sneaking a glance at Sandra’s shapely body.

“I have something I want to share with you,” Sandra says. “Something very special. Something I wouldn’t share with just anyone.”

“What is it?” Orvel says, already certain of the answer.

“Follow me,” Sandra says.

Sandra leads Orvel to a nearly deserted part of the island, specifically to a large pit.

“What is this?” Orvel says, wondering if this is where Sandra wants to consummate her relationship with him.

“It’s a pit,” Sandra says. “It’s been a part of the island since ancient times. This is where guilty people would be punished. This is where they would have to pay the Punvarian Price. They would be forced into the pit, and then the pit would be filled with thousands of Punvarian Worms. And then the pit would be sealed, sometimes for hours, sometimes for a whole day. It’s because of this punishment that people today think so badly of the Punvarian Worms. But you and I are going to change people’s minds, Orvel. We’re going to do a public demonstration! Tomorrow, in front of a crowd of people, you’re going to voluntarily subject yourself to the Punvarian Price! And just to prove how non-dangerous the Punvarian Worms really are, you’re going to stay in the pit with the worms for five whole days, longer than anyone else in history! Five days, sealed in this pit with thousands of Punvarian Worms! And when you come out of it unscathed, everyone will realize how harmless the Punvarian Worms really are!”

“Oh,” Orvel says, desperately trying to figure a way out of this situation without ruining his chances with Sandra. “I… I think that…”

Sandra puts her arms around Orvel, looking mildly concerned. “You’ll do it, won’t you, Orvel?” Sandra says. “I would do it myself, but I find those worms so creepy. But you’ll do it, won’t you, Orvel? I would be so grateful. So very, very grateful.”

The prospect of experiencing Sandra’s gratitude destroys any possibility of Orvel avoiding the forthcoming horror. “Anything for you, Sandra,” Orvel says.


Today, in an exotic, largely uncharted part of the world, on a large, populated island called Punvaria, as part of an attempt to win the love of a beautiful woman named Sandra Sentera, a man named Orvel is in a sealed pit containing thousands of worms, suffering in silence, trying to think about Sandra and not think about the worms, while elsewhere on the island, Sandra is falling in love with a handsome man she met earlier today named Marco.


Today, a man named Orvel is released from a pit containing thousands of worms, where he has been sealed in for the past five days. Orvel had been in that pit voluntarily, as part of a public demonstration.

The worms in the pit are all a certain type of worm known as the Punvarian Worm. The Punvarian Worms are an endangered species. Because of a common misconception that the Punvarian Worms are dangerous to humans, many people think that it would be a good idea to let the Punvarian Worms go extinct.

The public demonstration that Orvel was a part of was meant to show how harmless the Punvarian Worms really are to humans, and to give people more incentive to help prevent the Punvarian Worms from going extinct.

The public demonstration was the idea of a beautiful woman named Sandra Sentera. She is a strong advocate for the continued survival of the Punvarian Worms.

Ironically, Orvel, the person who voluntarily spent five days in the pit of Punvarian Worms, has no like for worms whatsoever. He only spent the five days in the pit as part of an attempt to win the love of Sandra Sentera. Sandra, of course, has no idea that Orvel doesn’t really care about the plight of the Punvarian Worms.

The night before Orvel went into the pit, he got to consummate his relationship with Sandra. Sandra had wanted to express her gratitude to Orvel for his forthcoming contribution to her cause, and this was the best way she knew how.

While in that horrible pit of worms, Orvel tried to not think about his predicament, trying to think only about Sandra and not about the worms. He repeatedly consoled himself with the idea that, after this horrible experience was over, Sandra would be madly in love with him, and would be so grateful to him that he would easily be able to complete his goal of making Sandra his wife.

A few seconds after being released from the pit, Orvel notices that Sandra isn’t around. Orvel finds this strange, as Sandra knew the exact day and time that he would be released from the pit. He assumed she would be here, eager to embrace him. But she isn’t.

A little later, after Orvel has cleaned himself up, he goes to Sandra’s apartment to see her. Outside the apartment, he knocks on its door.

A handsome man answers the door, much to Orvel’s confusion. The handsome man is smiling with a hint of smugness.

“Hello,” the handsome man says. “You must be Orvel. The worm pit guy. Wait here. I’ll get Sandra.”

The handsome man closes the door, leaving Orvel outside.

A few minutes later, Sandra opens the door.

“Hello, Orvel,” Sandra says. “It’s good to see you again.”

“Where were you?” Orvel says. “Why weren’t you there when they let me out of the pit?”

“I’m sorry,” Sandra says. “I know I should have been there for you. But I just wasn’t ready to face you. I wasn’t ready to give you the bad news.”

“What bad news?” Orvel says. “What are you talking about? Who was that guy?”

“That was Marco,” Sandra says, looking down, avoiding Orvel’s stare. “He’s my husband.”

“Husband?!” Orvel says. “You got married?!”

“Yes,” Sandra says. “I met Marco a few days ago, after you went into the pit. He and I got married yesterday.”

“But what about us?” Orvel says. “What about the night we spent together? Didn’t that mean anything to you?”

“I had fun that night,” Sandra says. “But what I have with Marco is special. You’re a nice guy, Orvel, but I just don’t love you. Marco is someone I actually care about. I’m sorry, Orvel. I think it would be best if we never spent time with each other again. Goodbye.”

Sandra closes the door, then locks it.

Orvel begins walking away sadly. He considers turning around, but then he realizes that it is a hopeless situation. Sandra is a Sentera, and Senteras never get divorced. Never. She is now forever out of his reach.

Orvel thinks about the Punvarian Worms, and how much Sandra cares about them. And at that moment, Orvel finds himself envious of those worms.


During an evening, a man named Orvel is laying on a bed in the apartment of a beautiful woman named Selena Sentera. Selena is laying with Orvel on the bed. They have been dating for several weeks now.

“I love you, Selena,” Orvel says,

“That’s nice,” Selena says.

“Do you love me?” Orvel says.

“No,” Selena says. “I don’t think I could ever love anyone. But I do enjoy spending time with you.”

“I enjoy spending time with you too,” Orvel says. “I know you don’t love me, but… could we get married?”

“Yes, let’s do it,” Selena says. “It’ll make my friends so jealous. They’re all desperate to get married.”

“So you’ll marry me?” Orvel says.

“Yes,” Selena says, yawning, drifting off to sleep, her eyes closed. “Let’s do it tomorrow, in the morning.”

“You’ve just made me the happiest man in the universe, Selena,” Orvel says.

Selena is asleep now.

Orvel thinks: she’ll love me someday.

The next day, in the morning, Orvel and Selena enter a building that contains many municipal offices, including the office of a marriage bureau. The marriage bureau office is on the building’s 347th floor. Orvel and Selena, who are currently on the building’s lobby level, go to the building’s elevator station, intending to ride the building’s only elevator to the 347th floor.

At the moment, the elevator is on the lobby level, and many people are getting onto the elevator.

“This is insane,” Selena says. “Why would this building have only one elevator?”

Now, the elevator is very crowded, and Orvel and Selena are still outside of it, and the elevator doors are about to close.

“It’s okay,” Orvel says. “We’ll wait for the elevator to come back down again.”

“That’ll take an eternity,” Selena says.

“You’re worth the wait,” Orvel says.

“That’s so sweet of you to say, Orvel,” Selena says.

Orvel and Selena kiss each other.

As the elevator doors are about to close, a handsome man in the elevator stops the doors from closing. He is looking at Selena, and has been looking at her for a few minutes now. Speaking specifically to Selena, the handsome man says: “There’s still room on this elevator for one more person. Why don’t you come in? There’s no need for the both of you to wait.”

Before Orvel can say anything, Selena says to the handsome man: “I suppose you’re right.” She gets onto the elevator, then says to Orvel: “I’ll see you up there, Orvel.”

As the elevator doors are closing, Orvel sees the handsome man turn to Selena and say: “My name is Jared.” And then, with the doors almost completely closed, Orvel sees Selena smile at Jared.

The elevator doors are now closed and Orvel is sweating profusely. “Oh no…” he says. “Oh no… Not now! Not again! I was so close this time! Not again!”

Other people on the lobby level are looking at Orvel as if he is crazy.

Orvel grabs one of them and says: “The stairwell! Tell me where the stairwell is! I have to stop them! There still might be time to stop them! WHERE IS THE STAIRWELL?!”

The person who Orvel has grabbed indicates to the door to the building’s stairwell. Orvel lets go of the very frightened person and goes into the stairwell and begins running up the stairs, toward the 347th floor.

MUST GET THERE IN TIME, Orvel is thinking.

Some time ago, Orvel met a beautiful woman named Sara Sentera. Upon meeting Sara, Orvel became very infatuated with her. To Orvel, Sara was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

Eventually, Orvel became romantically involved with Sara. Orvel was very happy during this time. Sara’s beauty made it easy for Orvel to overlook how self-engrossed Sara was. He was content with the idea that Sara was his soul mate, and that they would get married and be together forever.

Then one day, Sara ended their relationship. Some time later, she got married to another man. She now wants nothing to do with Orvel.

Orvel was devastated by Sara’s ending of their relationship. He wanted her back so badly.

Some time after losing Sara, Orvel learned some information about Sara that she’d never shared with him: that she is a nonuplet; that she has eight identical sisters; and that their names are Samantha and Sabrina and Sandra and Selena and Simona and Sonya and Severia and Sustranna. Eight women who look exactly like Sara Sentera.

Upon learning of the existence of these eight women, Orvel thought: eight more chances to get her to love me back.

Orvel also learned that Sara and her eight identical sisters all hated each other and were all deeply estranged from each other.

Since beginning his quest for a Sentera sister to replace Sara, Orvel has had many, many dreams about the Sentera sisters. In those dreams, they laugh cruelly at him and tell him that he will never, ever win the love of any of them.

In some ways, these horrible dreams are reflective of Orvel’s horrible reality. Thus far, his Sentera sister quest has given him much disappointment.

After beginning his quest, Orvel met and subsequently became romantically involved with Samantha Sentera. Then Samantha ended their relationship and got married to another man.

Then Orvel met and subsequently became romantically involved with Sabrina Sentera. But Sabrina’s female friends didn’t like Orvel. They insisted that Sabrina end her relationship with Orvel. Sabrina, who wanted to please the women in her social clique, dumped Orvel and told him that she did not want to ever see him again.

Then Orvel met and subsequently became romantically involved with Sandra Sentera. Then Sandra abandoned Orvel and got married to another man.

Around this time, Orvel thought: I’m running out of Sentera sisters. It was starting to seem like the existence of the Sentera sisters was some kind of cruel cosmic joke being played on him. It was starting to seem as if the Sentera sisters had each been genetically designed to be utterly incapable of falling in love with Orvel.

Some time after losing Sandra Sentera to another man, Orvel met and subsequently became romantically involved with his current fiancee, Selena Sentera. Like his first encounters with Samantha and Sabrina and Sandra, Orvel’s first encounter with Selena was a staged ‘chance encounter’, orchestrated by Orvel to trick the Sentera sister into thinking her meeting Orvel was completely serendipitous, as if fate was bringing them together, as if they were soul mates destined to meet each other. And of course, Selena had no knowledge of Orvel’s previous romantic involvements with some of her estranged sisters. To Selena, Orvel was just some guy who accidentally bumped into her in a coffee shop.

Another fact that Orvel learned about the Sentera sisters: once a Sentera sister gets married, she will never, ever get divorced, ever. Which means two things for Orvel: (1) each Sentera sister that gets married to another man is out of Orvel’s reach forever; and (2) if Orvel can get a Sentera sister to marry him, she will be his forever.

Orvel is still running up the stairs, trying to get to the 347th floor, trying to get back to Selena Sentera before it is too late. The journey up the many, many flights of stairs is long and torturous. Orvel’s infatuation with the Sentera sisters has caused him all kinds of torture.

Orvel is sweating profusely and is thinking: MUST MARRY SELENA.

And now Orvel is thinking: MUST STOP JARED. Other men are a constant threat to Orvel’s goal to marry a Sentera sister. Sentera sisters seem to fall in love with men easily, as long as the men are physically attractive and not Orvel.

Finally, Orvel arrives at the 347th floor. He exits the stairwell just in time to see the floor’s elevator doors opening, revealing the elevator, which now contains only Selena and Jared. Selena and Jared are kissing each other passionately.

“No!” Orvel says. “No!”

Selena and Jared stop kissing and happily get off the elevator together.

To Orvel, Selena says: “Orvel, this is Jared. I met him on the elevator, and we instantly fell in love with each other. He’s my soul mate. So I’m going to get married to him today instead of you. I hope you understand.”

“Selena, you’re making a big mistake!” Orvel says. “I love you! I’m you’re soul mate! Not him! Me! It’s me you’re supposed to be in love with! Not him! Me! Me! Me!”

“She doesn’t want anything to do with you anymore,” Jared says. “You should give up and go away.”

“Jared is right, Orvel,” Selena says. “You should leave now.”

Orvel is exhausted and furious. He begins approaching Jared, intent on hitting him. As Orvel is approaching Jared, Orvel says: “I WON’T LET YOU TAKE HER AWAY FROM ME! I WON’T LOSE HER-”

Before Orvel can say the word “again”, Jared hits Orvel, causing him to fall to the ground.

Several of the building’s security guards come over to Orvel and Selena and Jared.

“Are you okay?” one of the security guards says to Selena and Jared.

“Can you remove him from the building?” Selena says to the security guards, referring to Orvel. “He tried to attack my fiancé. He wants to ruin my wedding.”

The security guards grab Orvel and forcibly take him down to the building’s lobby level, then out of the building. The security guards then go back into the building.

Standing on the street, Orvel looks up at the upper part of the building. He knows that Selena is somewhere up there, getting married to Jared, and that it is too late to stop it from happening; that Orvel could never get back up to the 347th floor in time to disrupt the wedding.

“Selena…” Orvel says. “Selena, I love you! Selena!”

Orvel hears his cellular phone ringing. He takes the phone out of his pants pocket and sees that the phone call is coming from Sabrina Sentera, the Sentera sister who dumped Orvel because her female friends didn’t like him.

Without hesitation, Orvel answers the phone. “Sabrina?” he says.

“Yes, Orvel, it’s me,” Sabrina says. “I need to speak with you. Orvel, I was wrong to dump you. It was a mistake. I realize that now. I shouldn’t have listened to my friends. They were a bad influence on me. But I’m done with them now. I’ve ended my friendships with them, and I want to give our relationship another chance. Will you take me back, Orvel?”

“Yes, of course I’ll take you back, Sabrina,” Orvel says. “I love you!”

“That’s nice,” Sabrina says. “Can you meet me at my apartment?”

“Yes, I can do that,” Orvel says. “But I’m very, very far away from where you live. It will take a few days for me to get to you. Will you wait for me?”

“Of course I’ll wait for you, Orvel,” Sabrina says.

“Great,” Orvel says. “You’ve made me the happiest man in the universe, Sabrina.”

“I’ll see you soon, Orvel,” Sabrina says. “Goodbye.”

“Goodbye, Sabrina,” Orvel says.

Sabrina ends the phone call.

Orvel starts running down the street, beginning his journey back to Sabrina.

Elsewhere, Sabrina Sentera leaves her apartment and goes to a nearby coffee shop. While in the coffee shop, she serendipitously meets a handsome man named Luchenzo and instantly falls in love with him and forgets all about Orvel. Sabrina and Luchenzo leave the coffee shop together.


During an evening, a man named Orvel and his beautiful girlfriend named Sustranna Sentera are laying on the bed in Sustranna’s apartment, having just completed an intimate encounter. Orvel is as happy as he’ll ever be. They have been dating for several weeks now, and it has been going well.

Orvel met Sustranna after Orvel ‘accidentally’ crashed his car into Sustranna’s parked car. Neither Sustranna nor anyone else was in her car at the time, so only Orvel got hurt in the ‘accident’. Just some minor bruises, which he considered a small price to pay for love. After the ‘accident’, Orvel worked out a payment plan with Sustranna for the cost of repairing her damaged car. This interaction with Sustranna gave Orvel the opportunity to converse with her and get to know her and ask her out on a date. And now, Sustranna’s car is fully repaired and they are dating.

“I love you, Sustranna,” Orvel says.

“And I love you, Orvel,” Sustranna says.

Orvel is staring into Sustranna’s smiling pretty face, secretly amused that the lovely Sustranna will never know how much he’s suffered to get to this moment. He considers Sustranna’s love his reward for all that suffering.

Some time ago, Orvel met a beautiful woman named Sara Sentera. Upon meeting Sara, Orvel became very infatuated with her. To Orvel, Sara was the most beautiful woman in the universe.

Eventually, Orvel became romantically involved with Sara. Orvel was very happy during this time. Sara’s beauty made it easy for Orvel to overlook how self-engrossed Sara was. He was content with the idea that Sara was his soul mate, and that they would get married and be together forever.

Then one day, Sara ended their relationship. Some time later, she got married to another man. She now wants nothing to do with Orvel.

Orvel was devastated by Sara’s ending of their relationship. He wanted her back so badly.

Some time after losing Sara, Orvel learned some information about Sara that she’d never shared with him: that she is a nonuplet; that she has eight identical sisters; and that their names are Samantha and Sabrina and Sandra and Selena and Simona and Sonya and Severia and Sustranna. Eight women who look exactly like Sara Sentera.

Upon learning of the existence of these eight women, Orvel thought: eight more chances to get her to love me back.

Orvel also learned that Sara and her eight identical sisters all hate each other and are all deeply estranged from each other.

Since beginning his quest for a Sentera sister to replace Sara, Orvel has had many, many dreams about the Sentera sisters. In these dreams, they laugh cruelly at him and tell him that he will never, ever win the love of any of them.

After beginning his Sentera sister quest, Orvel met and subsequently became romantically involved with Samantha Sentera. Then Samantha ended their relationship and got married to another man.

Then Orvel met and subsequently became romantically involved with Sabrina Sentera. Then Sabrina dumped Orvel and told him that she did not want to ever see him again. She later got married to another man.

Some time after being dumped by Sabrina, Orvel met and subsequently became romantically involved with Sandra Sentera. Then Sandra abandoned Orvel and got married to another man.

Around this time, Orvel thought: I’m running out of Sentera sisters. It was starting to seem like the existence of the Sentera sisters was some kind of cruel cosmic joke being played on him. It was starting to seem as if the Sentera sisters had each been genetically designed to be utterly incapable of falling in love with Orvel.

Some time after losing Sandra Sentera to another man, Orvel met and subsequently became romantically involved with Selena Sentera. They got engaged. Then she abandoned Orvel and got married to another man.

Some time later, Orvel found his way to Simona Sentera, and his pattern of failure continued with her.

And then later, his pattern of failure continued again, this time with Sonya Sentera.

And then later, his pattern of failure continued again, this time with Severia Sentera.

Sara and Samantha and Sabrina and Sandra and Selena and Simona and Sonya and Severia: now all ex-lovers of Orvel who all want nothing to do with him anymore.

When Orvel met Sustranna Sentera after the staged car accident, he thought: my last chance.

Much to Orvel’s susrprise, Sustranna Sentera didn’t share some of the negative qualities that the other Sentera sisters have. Unlike her sisters, Sustranna isn’t self-engrossed, thoughtless, petty, shallow, cruel, flaky, or spiteful. Unfortunately for Orvel, just like her sisters, Sustranna does have very sharp teeth, but he considers that pain a small, painful price to pay for a lot of pleasure.

While laying in bed with Sustranna in her apartment, Orvel thinks about an incident that occurred yesterday when he and Sustranna were sitting at a table and having lunch in a restaurant. A handsome man came over to the table and began attempting to converse with Sustranna, clearly trying to charm her and steal her away from Orvel.

Orvel cringed. This had happened to him so many times before, with other Sentera sisters. He had lost so many other Sentera sisters this way. He expected Sustranna to be easily charmed by this other man. Orvel expected Sustranna to get up from the table, and leave the restaurant with the other man, and forget all about Orvel.

Instead, much to Orvel’s surprise and delight, Sustranna said to the other man: “Can you please go away? I’m trying to have lunch with my boyfriend.”

The other man walked away, rejected.

It was a miracle.

In Sustranna’s bedroom, Orvel turns to Sustranna and says: “Will you marry me, Sustranna?”

Without hesitation, Sustranna says: “Yes. Yes, I will marry you, Orvel. I knew you were my soul mate from the first moment that I saw you. It was fate that caused you to accidentally crash your car into mine. Let’s get married tomorrow.”

“Okay!” Orvel says, elated.

They kiss each other.

Orvel thinks: after tomorrow, she will be mine forever.

Suddenly, the phone in Sustranna’s bedroom starts ringing.

Sustranna answers the phone. “Hello?” she says, speaking into the phone. “Yes, this is Sustranna. … Oh no. … Oh, that’s so sad. … Okay. … Yes, of course I’ll be there. … Okay. Thank you for letting me know. Goodbye.”

Sustranna hangs up the phone.

“What’s wrong?” Orvel says.

“My aunt died,” Sustranna says.

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” Orvel says.

“It was her time,” Sustranna says. “She had a full life. The funeral is later this week. Orvel, can we postpone our wedding plans? It doesn’t seem right to get married at this somber time.”

“Sure, I understand,” Orvel says, trying to conceal his annoyance and frustration.

“I really dread having to attend her funeral,” Sustranna says.

“Why is that?” Orvel says.

“Because my sisters will be there,” Sustranna says.

“You have sisters?” Orvel says, acting like this is new information he is receiving.

“Yes,” Sustranna says. “I have eight identical sisters. They all look just like me.”

“Wow,” Orvel says, acting surprised.

“My sisters and I all hate each other,” Sustranna says. “We’re all deeply estranged from each other, and only see each other at family reunions and family funerals. I hate all my sisters so very, very much.”

“Wow,” Orvel says. “Nine identical sisters.”

“And there might even be a tenth one of us,” Sustranna says.

“What?!” Orvel says. “What do you mean?”

“My mother, a few days before she died of old age, told me that she had been keeping a secret from me and my sisters,” Sustranna says. “My mother told me that she gave birth to ten of us; that there was one additional identical daughter.”

“There’s a tenth Sentera sister?” Orvel says.

“That’s what my mother told me,” Sustranna says. “She said that right after me and my sisters were born, she gave the tenth daughter up for adoption. My mother said she had to do it, as she couldn’t afford to take care of more than nine children. My mother said she never saw the tenth daughter again or learned what became of her.”

“Wow,” Orvel says. “A secret Sentera sister.”

“Of course, she might not actually exist,” Sustranna says. “Toward the end of her life, my mother had become very deranged. She would sometimes tell people stories about her past that were completely fabricated, but that she insisted really happened. It became very difficult to know when she was telling the truth about something. It’s possible that the existence of the tenth daughter was all just a delusion in my mother’s mind.”

Orvel nods, taking in this information.

“So my aunt’s funeral is on Friday,” Sustranna says. “You’ll attend it with me, won’t you?”

Suddenly, Orvel freezes, realizing something: he can’t go to the funeral, as all the other Sentera sisters will be there. Sustranna’s sisters would be shocked to see Orvel there, with Sustranna. And after Sustranna’s sisters noticed each other’s equally shocked reactions to Orvel’s presence, they would realize that Orvel has been romantically obsessed with all of the Sentera sisters. And they would be creeped out by it. And they would quickly expose his obsession to Sustranna. And Sustranna would be creeped out by it too, and would want nothing more to do with Orvel.

“I…” Orvel says. “I’m sorry, Sustranna. I can’t attend the funeral.”

“What?!” Sustranna says. “Why not?”

“I…” Orvel says. “I can’t explain.”

“Orvel, you’re my fiancé now,” Sustranna says. “You’re supposed to support me. This funeral is going to be a stressful experience for me, and I expect you to be there with me to support me.”

“Okay,” Orvel says, knowing he can’t possibly oblige Sustranna’s request.

The next day, in the afternoon, while Orvel is in his apartment, he picks up his phone and, with great hesitation, places a call to Sustranna.

In her apartment, Sustranna answers her phone. “Hello?” she says.

“Hello, Sustranna,” Orvel says, trying to sound ill. “It’s Orvel. I don’t think I’ll be able to attend the funeral tomorrow. I’m feeling very sick. I think I’ve got a virus. I wouldn’t want to infect you.”

“You don’t sound sick at all!” Sustranna says. “You’re faking, aren’t you?”

“No!” Orvel says. “I-”

“Orvel, I’m very disappointed in you,” Sustranna says. “I thought you were a great guy. I thought you were my soul mate. But now I realize you’re a deceptive, unsupportive jerk. I’m cancelling our wedding plans and I’m ending our relationship. I hate you and I do not want to ever see you again.”

“Sustranna, wait, don’t do this!” Orvel says. “I love you!”

“Goodbye, Orvel,” Sustranna says. “Goodbye forever.”

Sustranna ends the phone call.

Orvel weeps for a very long time.

Later that day, Orvel is sitting at a table in a coffee shop, having coffee. This is the exact same spot he was in when he learned that Sara Sentera has eight identical sisters.

Now it’s over, Orvel thinks. Sara and Samantha and Sabrina and Sandra and Selena and Simona and Sonya and Severia and Sustranna. The Sentera sisters. All nine of them want nothing more to do with him. He wonders what will become of him now. He wonders what becomes of a man after he has been drained of all hope.

He thinks that, now, he has no choice but to move on with his life. And for a brief moment, that idea makes him feel optimistic.

But before he can fully contemplate that idea, he suddenly remembers the tenth Sentera sister that Sustranna told him about. The secret Sentera sister who may or may not really exist.

A single tear streams down Orvel’s face. Orvel thinks: if only Sustranna hadn’t mentioned that.

He gets up and quickly exits the coffee shop, beginning his search for the possibly nonexistent Sentera sister, who he probably will never be able to locate even if she is real.

Now Orvel is running. Frantically. Desperately. Pathetically. He has only one thought on his mind: MUST FIND HER. The Sentera sisters still have him in their clutches, knowingly or unknowingly, and forever. His quest for another Sentera sister has begun.