Keeka and the Swans

EPISODE 1: DOGLIKE BEHAVIOR

On Monday, Keeka wins the lottery. It is quite an exciting surprise for her.

Keeka didn’t even purchase the winning lottery ticket. It was a birthday gift from the co-worker Keeka shares a cubicle with in the massive office environment that she works in.

Keeka found out about her lottery win during an evening, in her studio apartment. The first person Keeka tells about her lottery win is her boyfriend Gil. Gil is quite happy for Keeka.

That evening, Keeka and Gil go to a very fancy restaurant to celebrate Keeka’s lottery win. The appetizers and main courses they have are delicious.

On Tuesday, Keeka quits her job, as her lottery win has made her extremely rich, thereby eliminating her need to work. Keeka is happy to be leaving her job behind. It was a mostly unsatisfactory experience for her. She did not achieve much professional success during her time there. She blames her now-former-boss for that, as he is a seedy womanizer who provides growth opportunities only to the female subordinates he finds attractive, a category that Keeka doesn’t fall under. Keeka resents him for never providing her with growth opportunities, and, more significantly, for not finding her attractive.

On Thursday, Keeka uses some of her newly-acquired wealth to purchase herself a mansion located in a very upper-class neighborhood. After moving into her mansion, Keeka looks at her new surroundings, feeling quite satisfied.

Then she hears the mansion’s doorbell being rung. Keeka answers the door.

Standing before her are four very tall, very beautiful women. The physical attractiveness of these four women make Keeka feel quite inferior, as she is short and plump.

The four tall, beautiful women introduce themselves to Keeka. The four tall, beautiful women’s names are Tabeeza, Fawna, Nella, and Miona.

“We noticed you moving in, and we are now here to welcome you to the neighborhood,” Fawna says. “We would like for you to have dinner with us at an exclusive restaurant nearby.”

Keeka feels an inexplicably strong desire to have dinner with these four women, but Gil is going to be coming by soon to pick Keeka up for a scheduled date. However, Keeka can’t bring herself to decline the four tall, beautiful women’s dinner invitation.

A few minutes later, Keeka and Miona and Fawna and Tabeeza and Nella are sitting at a table and having dinner in a very fancy, very exclusive restaurant. Keeka has never been in such a wonderful restaurant before. It is much nicer than the restaurant Gil intended to take her to tonight.

Miona tells Keeka that, like Keeka, Miona and Fawna and Tabeeza and Nella are rich residents of the neighborhood. Tabeeza tells Keeka that Tabeeza and Miona and Nella and Fawna are a powerful social clique known as the Swans. Nella says that the Swans control all significant events that occur in this neighborhood; that they influence the fashion styles and opinions of the neighborhood’s other residents; that the Swans are always invited to the most exclusive parties; that every woman who isn’t a Swan wants to be a Swan.

Already, Keeka wants to be a Swan. She wants to be popular. She wants to be invited to exclusive parties. She wants to be envied and resented by non-Swans. She wants power. She wants to be a Swan.

Keeka asks if she can join the Swans. The Swans laugh cruelly. Fawna says that Keeka isn’t the type of woman who would traditionally be considered for Swan membership; that Swan candidates are usually physically attractive, unlike Keeka.

Keeka can’t accept the rejection. She wants to be part of this elite group so badly. She begs and begs and begs to be granted membership into the Swans.

Fawna tells Keeka that the Swans need to discuss the matter further in private. Miona tells Keeka to go wait in the restaurant’s restroom for 5 minutes while the Swans speak in private. Keeka does as she was told.

5 minutes later, Keeka returns to the table. Nella tells Keeka that the Swans have made a decision: that they will allow Keeka to be a candidate for membership into the Swans. Tabeeza tells Keeka that Swan candidates are usually referred to as Ducklings. Miona tells Keeka that her designation will be Ugly Duckling. Fawna tells Keeka that, as part of Keeka’s Swan membership candidacy, Keeka will have to go through a grueling, mandatory hazing process, which will involve lots and lots of torture from the Swans. Fawna says that Keeka will have to do whatever the Swans tell Keeka to do during this hazing process. Keeka says that she will do whatever she needs to do to become a Swan.

Fawna tells Keeka to crawl around on her hands and knees and bark like a dog.

After a brief moment of hesitation, Keeka proceeds to do as she was told. In the crowded restaurant, Keeka is crawling around on her hands and knees and barking like a dog. The Swans are laughing cruelly. Fawna pours a glass of wine on Keeka’s head. Keeka continues crawling and barking, and the Swans continue laughing cruelly.

Elsewhere, outside of Keeka’s mansion, Gil is ringing the mansion’s doorbell repeatedly. Keeka forgot to cancel her date with Gil. Gil wonders why Keeka isn’t answering the door. Gil wonders where Keeka is.

EPISODE 2: BUGS AND GUM

Keeka’s boyfriend Gil is worried about Keeka. To Gil, it seems that Keeka has become very strange since becoming rich by winning the lottery several weeks earlier.

Some of Keeka’s post-lottery-win behaviors have seemed normal enough to Gil: quitting her job; moving out of her crummy studio apartment; moving into a mansion in a very upper-class neighborhood; buying a new, ultra-expensive car; etcetera.

But there are other behaviors of Keeka that have been troubling Gil, specifically the ones in relation to Keeka’s four new female acquaintances.

The four new female acquaintances are named Fawna, Tabeeza, Miona, and Nella. They are all very tall and very beautiful, unlike Keeka, who is short and plump.

Fawna, Tabeeza, Miona, and Nella are rich residents of the neighborhood that Keeka now lives in. Keeka became acquainted with these four tall, beautiful women shortly after moving to the neighborhood.

Fawna, Miona, Nella, and Tabeeza are a powerful social clique known as the Swans. The Swans influence the fashion styles and opinions of the neighborhood’s other residents. The Swans are always invited to the most exclusive parties. All the other female residents want to be Swans. All the neighborhood’s male residents want to be with the Swans.

Keeka wants to be a Swan. She badly craves the respect and adoration and popularity and envy and resentment that the Swans receive.

Keeka is currently a candidate for Swan membership. Typically, candidates for Swan membership are referred to as Ducklings. However, for unspecified reasons, the Swans refer to Keeka as an Ugly Duckling.

Unfortunately for Keeka, Swan membership candidates have to go through a grueling, mandatory hazing process in order to become a Swan. This hazing process involves lots and lots of torture from the Swans and having to do whatever the Swans tell the candidate to do. In the few weeks since Keeka’s membership candidacy began, the Swans have done many, many terrible things to Keeka as part of the hazing process.

At the moment, it is the evening. Keeka is at home, in her mansion’s bathroom. Gil is also in the bathroom. He came to the mansion to pick Keeka up for a date, but she is too tired to go out now, as she is exhausted from another long, grueling day with the Swans.

Keeka is sitting in front of a large mirror, brushing her teeth intensely. Today, per the Swans’ commands, Keeka ate various bugs.

With the hand Keeka isn’t using to brush her teeth, Keeka is trying to remove pieces of chewed gum from her hair. One of the Swans, Nella, likes to chew gum. During the day, she stuck her many, many finished pieces of gum in Keeka’s hair. This gum torture is not a new addition to the hazing process. Removing Nella’s chewed gum from Keeka’s hair has become one of Keeka’s nightly routines.

Gil tells Keeka that he is worried about her; that he doesn’t like what this Swan membership candidacy is doing to her. Gil suggests that she abandon her goal to become a Swan.

Keeka becomes very angry in response to Gil’s suggestion. She accuses Gil of not being supportive of her. She accuses Gil of never being supportive of her.

Keeka and Gil get into a huge, heated argument. Gil leaves the mansion angrily.

As Gil is driving away from Keeka’s mansion, he is thinking about how he and Keeka never argued before her Swan membership candidacy began. He wonders how much more of a strain this candidacy will have on their relationship.

Back at the mansion, Keeka isn’t thinking about Gil. She is struggling to get one remaining piece of gum out of her hair. She realizes how futile it is: even if she gets this piece of gum out of her hair, there will be more gum in her hair by tomorrow night. She hopes to become a Swan soon.

EPISODE 3: PEANUT BUTTER

During a morning, in the very upper-class neighborhood that Keeka resides in, Keeka enters a mansion, mentally preparing herself for another day of misery.

The mansion that Keeka has entered belongs to a woman named Fawna. Fawna is very tall and very beautiful, unlike Keeka, who is short and plump.

Fawna is a member of a powerful social clique known as the Swans. The Swans consist of Fawna and three other very tall, very beautiful women whose names are Miona, Nella, and Tabeeza. The Swans are all rich residents of the neighborhood. The Swans are very, very popular and influential. The Swans are always invited to the most exclusive parties. The Swans influence the opinions and fashion styles of the neighborhood’s other residents. All the neighborhood’s other female residents want to be Swans. All the neighborhood’s male residents want to be with the Swans.

Keeka wants to be a Swan. She craves the popularity and power that comes with being a Swan. Currently, Keeka is a candidate for Swan membership. Typically, the Swans refer to Swan candidates as Ducklings. However, for unspecified reasons, the Swans refer to Keeka as an Ugly Duckling.

Unfortunately for Keeka, Swan membership candidates have to go through a mandatory hazing process in order to become Swans. This hazing process involves lots and lots of torture from the Swans and having to do whatever the Swans tell the candidate to do. Since Keeka’s Swan membership candidacy began, the Swans have subjected Keeka to many, many horrible experiences.

Keeka is in Fawna’s mansion this morning because the Swans told Keeka to come there, claiming that they have a surprise for her. Keeka is hoping that the Swans will tell Keeka that she has completed her seemingly never-ending candidacy and is now a Swan.

Alas, that is not the surprise the Swans have in store for Keeka.

Keeka enters the mansion’s parlor, where the Swans are all sitting and smiling evilly. The Swans have been waiting for Keeka.

Fawna is holding a red folder. She gives the folder to Keeka.

Keeka opens the folder. Inside the folder are copies of all her medical records for the past 5 years. Every embarrassing detail is there. Keeka is stunned. She doesn’t understand how and why the Swans obtained these records.

Fawna explains that it was her idea; that she thought it would be a good idea to know all Keeka’s most intimate details in order to tailor the hazing process specifically to her. Fawna says that she got the copies of Keeka’s medical records from Keeka’s current doctor, a male resident of the neighborhood. “He was so overwhelmed by my beauty that he provided me the documents without hesitation,” Fawna says.

Keeka notices that someone highlighted the parts of the medical records that note that she is highly allergic to peanuts. Keeka feels a horrible sense of dread. Eating even just one peanut could cause her entire body, including her face, to become very, very swollen.

From Fawna’s ultra-expensive purse, Fawna takes out a jar of peanut butter. She takes the jar’s lid off. She takes a very small amount of the peanut butter out of the jar with her finger, then sucks on her finger sensuously. She doesn’t have any allergies, unlike Keeka.

While the other Swans are looking on in amusement, Fawna removes more peanut butter from the jar with her finger, then holds her finger out to Keeka.

Keeka begs the Swans to not make her do this.

“If you don’t eat the peanut butter, your Swan membership candidacy will be terminated, Keeka,” Fawna says.

In response to that threat, Keeka immediately sucks the peanut butter off Fawna’s finger. Keeka wants to be a Swan so badly.

Fawna hands the jar to Keeka, then tells Keeka to eat all the remaining peanut butter. Keeka proceeds to do as she was told.

Keeka’s entire body, including her face, have already become quite swollen, much to the Swans’ amusement.

While Keeka is eating the peanut butter, Fawna says that, as part of the hazing process, the Swans are going to require Keeka to eat nothing but peanut butter for an entire year. Fawna says that the Swans have already arranged for a year’s supply of peanut butter to be delivered to Keeka’s home.

Keeka is devastated, not just because she will have to endure this peanut butter torture for an entire year, but also because of the knowledge that she will not get to become a Swan until at least a whole year from now.

EPISODE 4: SHOPPING BAG

In a very upper-class neighborhood, there is a powerful social clique known as the Swans. The Swans consist of four very rich, very tall, very beautiful women. Their names are Miona, Fawna, Tabeeza, and Nella.

The Swans influence the opinions and fashion styles of the neighborhood’s other residents. The Swans are always invited to the most exclusive parties. All the neighborhood’s other female residents want to be Swans. All the neighborhood’s male residents want to be with the Swans.

Keeka wants to be a Swan. She craves the power and popularity and resentment from others that comes with being a Swan.

Currently, Keeka is a candidate for Swan membership. Typically, the Swans refer to their candidates as Ducklings. However, for unspecified reasons, the Swans refer to Keeka as an Ugly Duckling.

Unfortunately for Keeka, Swan candidates have to go through a grueling, mandatory hazing process in order to become Swans. This hazing process involves lots and lots of torture from the Swans, and having to do whatever the Swans tell the candidate to do.

Today, the Swans are shopping in various upscale clothing stores, as they often do. They have brought Keeka along on this shopping spree, not so that Keeka can shop with them, but so that Keeka can carry the many, many shopping bags full of clothes purchased by the Swans on this shopping spree, as well as try on the various clothes the Swans are considering purchasing, so the Swans will have a better idea of how the clothes will look on them.

At the moment, Keeka and the Swans are in a particularly upscale clothing store. Keeka is wearing one of the store’s dresses. One of the Swans, Miona, is considering buying the dress. All the Swans are standing around Keeka, judging how the dress looks.

Two of the Swans, Nella and Tabeeza, are having a heated argument about whether Miona should buy this dress. It is Tabeeza’s position that the dress is lovely; that Miona should buy it. It is Nella’s position that the dress is hideous; that Miona shouldn’t buy it.

Tabeeza argues that Nella is incorrect; that Nella’s perception of the dress is distorted due to the dress being worn by Keeka; that Nella only thinks the dress is hideous because it is currently being worn by a hideous person; that if a physically attractive person were wearing the dress right now, Nella would have a positive opinion of the dress.

Nella argues that Tabeeza is wrong; that Keeka’s physical unattractiveness has no bearing on Nella’s opinion of the dress; that, if a physically attractive person were wearing the dress right now, Nella would still think that the dress is hideous.

To prove her point, Tabeeza takes one of the Swans’ many bags of purchased clothes, then empties the bag of its contents, then covers Keeka’s head with the bag.

Now that Nella can’t see Keeka’s face, Nella’s opinion of the dress changes immediately. Nella says that Tabeeza is correct; that Nella’s perception of the dress was distorted by Keeka; that, now that Keeka’s physical unattractiveness has been obscured, Nella can view the dress more objectively. Nella says that the dress is indeed lovely; that Miona should buy it.

Miona agrees. She buys the dress.

EPISODE 5: LETTER

Gil is miserable. Ever since his rich girlfriend Keeka became a candidate for membership into a social clique known as the Swans, things have been happening to Keeka that are causing her, and by extension, Gil, much unhappiness.

The Swans consist of four very rich, very tall, very beautiful women named Tabeeza, Miona, Fawna, and Nella. They live in the same upper-class neighborhood that Keeka lives in.

The Swans are a very powerful social clique. The Swans influence the opinions and fashion styles of the neighborhood’s other residents. The Swans are always invited to the most exclusive parties. All the neighborhood’s other female residents want to be Swans. All the neighborhood’s male residents want to be with the Swans.

Keeka wants to be a Swan. She craves the power and popularity that comes with being a Swan. She wants to be envied and resented, much in the same way that she currently envies and resents the Swans.

Typically, the Swans refer to Swan candidates as Ducklings. However, for unspecified reasons, the Swans refer to Keeka as an Ugly Duckling.

Unfortunately for Keeka, candidates for Swan membership have to go through a grueling, mandatory hazing process in order to become Swans. This hazing process involves lots and lots of torture from the Swans, and having to do whatever the Swans tell the candidate to do.

Since the hazing process began, the Swans have been subjecting Keeka to all kinds of tortures. Many of these tortures have been affecting her boyfriend Gil adversely.

For example, as part of the hazing process, the Swans are allowing Keeka to eat nothing but peanut butter, which, as the Swans know, Keeka is highly allergic to. As the Swans intended, the peanut butter Keeka has been eating is causing her entire body, including her face, to be perpetually swollen. In addition, eating nothing but peanut butter on a daily basis has caused Keeka to gain a lot of weight. Prior to being subjected to the peanut butter torture, Keeka was only slightly plump, and, from Gil’s point of view, moderately attractive. However, Gil now finds Keeka quite unattractive. Her fat, swollen body seems monster-like to him. Having intimate encounters with her is now a torturous experience for Gil.

To make matters worse, it doesn’t seem that Keeka’s Swan membership candidacy is going to be ending any time soon. Gil suspects that the Swans do not really intend to make Keeka a Swan; that the Swans are just stringing Keeka along so they can go on torturing her for their amusement.

Keeka’s Swan membership candidacy has put quite a strain on Keeka and Gil’s relationship. Gil hates Keeka’s willingness to degrade herself in order to become a Swan. Keeka hates Gil’s assertions that the Swans are just stringing Keeka along.

If Gil didn’t truly love Keeka, he would have ended their relationship already.

The Swans are aware of Keeka and Gil’s relationship and are displeased by it.

One day, the Swans make Keeka send a letter from her to Gil telling Gil that she has been cheating on Gil with another man, and that she is now leaving Gil for this other, better-looking man, and that she does not want to see Gil or hear from him ever again.

These are all lies, of course. There is no other man in Keeka’s life. But Keeka sent the letter, destroying her relationship with Gil. Keeka wants to be a Swan so badly.

EPISODE 6: PIG NOSE

In a very upper-class neighborhood, there is a powerful social clique known as the Swans. The Swans consist of four of the neighborhood’s residents. They are all very rich, very tall, very beautiful women. Their names are Fawna, Miona, Nella, and Tabeeza.

The Swans are very popular. They influence the opinions and fashion styles of the neighborhood’s other residents. The Swans are always invited to the most exclusive parties. All the neighborhood’s other female residents want to be Swans. All the neighborhood’s male residents want to be with the Swans.

Keeka wants to be a Swan. She badly craves all the things that come with being a Swan: power; popularity; envy from others; resentment from others; and so on. Since moving to the neighborhood over a year ago, Keeka has been focused entirely on her goal to become a Swan.

Keeka is a candidate for Swan membership. Typically, the Swans refer to Swan candidates as Ducklings. However, for unspecified reasons, the Swans refer to Keeka as an Ugly Duckling.

Unfortunately for Keeka, Swan candidates have to go through a grueling, mandatory hazing process in order to become Swans. This hazing process involves lots and lots of torture from the Swans, and having to do whatever the Swans tell the candidate to do. Since Keeka became a candidate for Swan membership, the Swans have subjected Keeka to all kinds of horrible experiences.

For example, the Swans have been requiring Keeka to eat nothing but peanut butter for an entire year. As the Swans know, Keeka is highly allergic to peanut butter. Eating even just a small sliver of peanut butter could cause her entire body, including her face, to become very, very swollen. Eating nothing but peanut butter on a regular basis has caused Keeka to be perpetually swollen, and quite overweight as well.

But now, the peanut butter torture is at an end. As of today, Keeka has eaten nothing but peanut butter for an entire year.

Today, Keeka enters the mansion of one of the Swans, Fawna. The Swans told Keeka to meet them there, claiming that they have a surprise for her in relation to the conclusion of her year-long consumption of only peanut butter.

Keeka is very excited about this meeting. She suspects that she is going to be granted membership into the Swans at this meeting.

In Fawna’s mansion, Keeka enters the mansion’s parlor, where the Swans are all sitting. They have been waiting for Keeka.

One of the Swans, Miona, is holding a large, purple box. She gives the box to Keeka, then tells her to open it.

Keeka opens the box, expecting it to contain some kind of object symbolizing membership into the Swans.

Instead, the box contains a plastic pig nose.

Keeka is confused. The Swans are all smiling evilly.

Tabeeza says that the plastic pig nose is for Keeka; that, as part of the hazing process, the Swans are now going to require Keeka to wear the plastic pig nose over her real nose for an entire year.

“This was my idea,” Fawna says.

“The plastic pig nose is actually quite appropriate, given how pig-like you’ve become from eating all that peanut butter, Keeka,” Nella says.

The Swans all begin laughing cruelly at Keeka.

Keeka hates the Swans so much. Keeka slowly puts on the plastic pig nose over her real nose.

EPISODE 7: INK

In a very upper-class neighborhood, there is a powerful social clique known as the Swans. The Swans consist of four of the neighborhood’s residents. They are all very rich, very tall, very beautiful women. Their names are Fawna, Miona, Nella, and Tabeeza.

The Swans are very popular. They influence the opinions and fashion styles of the neighborhood’s other residents. The Swans are always invited to the most exclusive parties. All the neighborhood’s other female residents want to be Swans. All the neighborhood’s male residents want to be with the Swans.

Keeka wants to be a Swan. She badly craves all the things that come with being a Swan: power; popularity; envy from others; resentment from others; and so on. Since moving to the neighborhood over a year ago, Keeka has been focused entirely on her goal to become a Swan.

Keeka is a candidate for Swan membership. Typically, the Swans refer to Swan candidates as Ducklings. However, for unspecified reasons, the Swans refer to Keeka as an Ugly Duckling.

Unfortunately for Keeka, Swan candidates have to go through a grueling, mandatory hazing process in order to become Swans. This hazing process involves lots and lots of torture from the Swans, and having to do whatever the Swans tell the candidate to do. Since Keeka became a candidate for Swan membership, the Swans have subjected Keeka to all kinds of horrible experiences.

At the moment, Keeka and the Swans are sitting in the back of a moving limousine. The limousine is heading out of their neighborhood and toward the neighborhood that Keeka grew up in. A very special event is going to be taking place in that neighborhood tonight. Keeka is dreading the event.

At the moment, Keeka is wearing a plastic pig nose over her real nose. As part of the hazing process, the Swans are requiring Keeka to wear the plastic pig nose over her real nose for an entire year.

Keeka also has derogatory comments written in all capital letters on her forehead, cheeks, and chin. On her forehead is the word “LOSER”. On her left cheek is the word “SLUT”. On her right cheek is the word “FAILURE”. On her chin is the word “WHORE”. The Swans drew those derogatory comments on Keeka’s face, using a pen containing ink that is very, very difficult to remove once applied. The Swans did this as part of the preparation for the event that Keeka and the Swans will be attending tonight.

“Please don’t make me do this,” Keeka says.

“Remember, if anyone there asks you about the words on your face, you have to tell them that the words are permanent tattoos that you had to get because you lost a bet years ago,” Nella says.

“And you also have to tell them that you can’t afford to get the tattoos surgically removed because you make so little money at your job,” Fawna says.

“And you have to tell them that your job is cleaning up after elephants at a zoo,” Tabeeza says.

“And if anyone asks you about your relationship status, you have to tell them that you were briefly married, but then your husband left you for an attractive woman,” Miona says.

“Please don’t make me do this,” Keeka says. “I’ll do anything else you want. I’ll eat nothing but peanut butter for an entire year again. I’ll drink toilet water again. But please, don’t make me go to this event!”

“You’re going to this event, Keeka,” Fawna says. “If you don’t, your Swan membership candidacy will be revoked.”

Keeka wants to be a Swan so badly. “Okay,” she says. “I’ll go to the event.”

Later, the limousine arrives in front of a large ballroom located in the neighborhood Keeka grew up in.

“Here we are, Keeka!” Nella says. “It’s time to attend your high school reunion! I can’t wait to see the looks on all the other guests’ faces when they see what you’ve become!”

“I’ve been looking forward to this all week!” Fawna says.

Keeka and the Swans get out of the limousine and go into the ballroom.

EPISODE 8: CREAM PIE

Keeka is trying to lose weight. At the moment, she is shopping in a local supermarket, doing her best to resist all the sugar-filled, fat-inducing temptations and select only healthy foods to purchase.

Keeka passes by a particularly delicious-looking chocolate cake on display. Her desire to devour that entire cake is strong, but she resists the urge. “I won’t do it!” Keeka says, whispering to herself. “I won’t do it!” She hurries away from the chocolate cake.

Keeka is a candidate for membership into an exclusive social clique known as the Swans. The Swans consist of four very tall, very beautiful, very rich women. Their names are Miona, Nella, Fawna, and Tabeeza. They live in the same upper-class neighborhood that Keeka lives in. The Swans are very, very popular. All the neighborhood’s other female residents want to be Swans. All the neighborhood’s male residents want to be with the Swans.

Keeka wants to be a Swan. She craves the popularity and envy from others and resentment from others that comes with being a Swan.

Unfortunately for Keeka, Swan membership candidates have to go through a grueling hazing process as part of their candidacies. This hazing process involves lots and lots of torture from the Swans and having to do whatever the Swans tell them to do. Since beginning her Swan membership candidacy, Keeka has been subjected to many, many horrible experiences by the Swans. For example, the Swans, who know that Keeka is highly allergic to peanut butter, made Keeka eat nothing but peanut butter for an entire year.

The year of eating nothing but peanut butter caused Keeka to gain a significant amount of weight. Now that the peanut butter torture is over, she is desperately trying to lose that weight. So far, she has successfully avoided all the fattening foods that would prevent her from achieving her weight loss goal.

Now, in the supermarket’s aisle for canned vegetables, Keeka is putting some canned carrots into her shopping cart. She misses the taste of chocolate so badly.

A very handsome man, who is pushing another shopping cart down the aisle, approaches Keeka. Keeka is overwhelmed by his handsomeness.

“Excuse me,” the man says. “Why do you look like a pig?”

Keeka is not offended by this question because, at the moment, she does in fact look like a pig: she is wearing a plastic pig nose over her real nose. As part of the hazing process, the Swans are currently making Keeka wear a plastic pig nose over her real nose at all times for an entire year. Keeka explains the whole situation to the handsome man.

“That must be horrible for you,” he says.

“It is,” Keeka says. “People on the street look at me like I’m crazy all the time. The Swans even made me go to my high school reunion with it on. All those horrible people I went to high school with laughed at me and think I’m a loser now.”

The man nods in a sympathetic manner. “You must really hate the Swans,” he says.

“I do,” Keeka says. “I hate them so much! They’ve ruined my life and they still won’t let me into their clique! I just want to be a Swan so badly!”

“I admire your perseverance,” the man says. “My name’s Blake.”

“I’m Keeka,” Keeka says.

“Would you have dinner with me tonight?” Blake says.

Keeka is stunned. She has never been asked out by men as attractive as Blake before. “Yes!” she says, trying to not appear too desperate. “That would be lovely!”

Later, Keeka and Blake have dinner. After dinner, Blake and Keeka consummate their relationship in Keeka’s mansion.

Keeka is delighted to have a new boyfriend, especially a boyfriend as handsome as Blake. She can’t wait to introduce him to the Swans. Keeka is certain that the Swans will be intensely jealous of her.

The next day, Keeka is in the mansion of one of the Swans, Fawna. Fawna and the other three Swans, Nella, Miona, and Tabeeza, are also there. The Swans are sitting in the living room, watching television. Keeka is in the middle of brushing Tabeeza’s hair, per Tabeeza’s demand.

Keeka casually mentions that she has a new boyfriend now.

In response to this news, the Swans all laugh cruelly.

“You’re lying, Keeka,” Fawna says. “No man would be interested in dating a fat pig like you!”

“I’m not lying!” Keeka says. “And he’s not even ugly. He’s actually quite handsome.”

“I don’t believe you, Keeka,” Miona says. “None of us believe you.”

“But I can prove it!” Keeka says. “I’ll introduce him to you!”

“Fine,” Nella says, taking a piece of chewed gum out of her mouth. “We’ll meet your supposedly real, supposedly handsome boyfriend. Bring him to my mansion this Saturday, in the afternoon. We’ll be there.” Nella sticks the gum in Keeka’s hair.

On the evening prior to the day that Keeka is to introduce Blake to the Swans, Keeka and Blake are having dinner together in the dining room of Keeka’s mansion. The room’s lights are off. Keeka and Blake are sitting at a table, facing each other. There are lit candles on the table.

“This dinner you made is lovely, Keeka,” Blake says. “You’re lovely, Keeka.”

“Oh Blake,” Keeka says. “You’re so sweet and handsome. I cherish every moment that I’m with you. I don’t want it to ever end. And I can’t wait to introduce you to the Swans tomorrow! They’ll all be so jealous of me!”

“That reminds me: I have a surprise for you, Keeka,” Blake says.

“You do?” Keeka says.

“Yes,” Blake says. “Close your eyes.”

Excited, Keeka closes her eyes.

A few minutes later, Blake says: “Open your eyes, Keeka.”

Keeka opens her eyes. The dining room’s lights have been turned on. The candles’ flames have been extinguished. On the table, between Keeka and Blake, is a very large, delicious-looking chocolate cream pie.

“This is for you, Keeka,” Blake says. “It’s all for you.”

“Oh,” Keeka says, trying to not appear disappointed, even though she was expecting an engagement ring. “That’s very thoughtful of you, Blake. But, unfortunately, I can’t eat it. I’m trying to lose weight.”

Blake smiles, with a faint hint of sinisterness in his smile. “You misunderstand, Keeka,” Blake says. “The cream pie isn’t for you to eat. It’s for you to wear.” He picks up the cream pie, then covers Keeka’s face with it.

Pieces of the cream pie fall off of Keeka. She slowly wipes cream from her eyes.

The Swans come out of their hiding places. Now, they are all standing around Blake and laughing at Keeka. Blake is laughing at Keeka too.

“Blake?” Keeka says. “What is happening?”

“It was a prank, Keeka,” Nella says. “We tricked you into falling in love with Blake.”

“It was my idea,” Fawna says.

“Blake is in love with me, Keeka,” Miona says. “He divorced his wife for me. He would do anything to be with me.”

“It’s true,” Blake says.

“So I told Blake that I would be his if he helped us play this prank on you,” Miona says.

“So… you were never really interested in me?” Keeka says, speaking to Blake.

“That is correct, Keeka,” Blake says. “I hated every moment that I was with you. Kissing your fat, piggy face made me want to vomit. I was only doing it for Miona.”

“And now that Blake has fulfilled his part of the bargain, I will become his, in more ways than one,” Miona says. “Blake and I are going to get married, Keeka! And you are going to attend our wedding. You are going to watch Blake become my husband.”

“It will be a lovely event,” Tabeeza says.

“You can expect to receive a formal wedding invitation in a few days, Keeka,” Miona says. “Come on everyone: let’s leave Keeka to her cream pie.”

The Swans and Blake leave Keeka’s mansion.

Keeka is sitting in stunned silence. After a few minutes, she looks down at the various pieces of the chocolate cream pie that have fallen off of her face, on to the table.

The stress is too much for Keeka. She proceeds to devour every piece of the cream pie.

EPISODE 9: TOMATOES

At the moment, Keeka is standing in the center of a very large park located in the very upper-class neighborhood that she lives in. There is a bullseye written on Keeka’s forehead. The bullseye was put there by a woman named Tabeeza, using ink that is very, very difficult to remove once applied.

It is a beautiful, sunny day, so there are many, many other people in the park. At the moment, most of the people in the park are watching Keeka.

A few feet away from Keeka are four very rich, very beautiful, very cruel women. Their names are Miona, Nella, Fawna, and Tabeeza. Near the four women is a large bag containing many, many tomatoes. At the moment, Miona, Nella, Fawna, and Tabeeza are taking turns throwing tomatoes at Keeka, with the target being Keeka’s face.

Miona, Nella, Fawna, and Tabeeza live in the same upper-class neighborhood that Keeka lives in. Miona, Nella, Fawna, and Tabeeza are members of an exclusive social clique known as the Swans. The Swans are very, very popular. All of the neighborhood’s other female residents want to be Swans. All of the neighborhood’s male residents want to be with the Swans.

Keeka wants to be a Swan. She craves all the things that come with being a Swan: power; popularity; being envied and resented by other women; being achingly desired by men; being able to look down on other people.

One of the Swans, Fawna, throws a tomato at Keeka. It hits Keeka in the face.

Currently, Keeka is a candidate for Swan membership. Candidates for Swan membership are usually referred to as Ducklings. However, for unspecified reasons, the Swans refer to Keeka as an Ugly Duckling.

One of the Swans, Miona, throws a tomato at Keeka. It misses Keeka.

“Oh, I missed!” Miona says.

Fawna hands Miona another tomato. “Don’t worry,” Fawna says. “You have plenty of more chances.”

Unfortunately for Keeka, Swan candidates have to go through a grueling, mandatory hazing process in order to become Swans. This hazing process involves lots and lots of torture from the Swans, and having to do whatever the Swans tell the candidate to do.

At the moment, Keeka is wearing a plastic pig nose over her real nose. As part of the hazing process, the Swans are making Keeka wear the plastic pig nose over her real nose at all times for an entire year. This has caused Keeka much humiliation, especially when the Swans made Keeka attend her high school reunion with the pig nose on.

Currently, Keeka has multiple pieces of chewed gum stuck in her hair. The gum was put there by Nella. Nella likes to chew gum, and she likes to stick her finished pieces of gum in Keeka’s hair.

Miona throws another tomato at Keeka. It hits Keeka in the face.

Miona is currently engaged to Keeka’s ex-boyfriend Blake. Although Miona finds Blake attractive, her only real motivation to get married to Blake is to torture Keeka, who is still very much in love with Blake.

Nella throws a tomato at Keeka. It hits Keeka in the face.

The Swans continue taking turns throwing tomatoes at Keeka for many, many hours while many other people continue watching Keeka, enjoying the spectacle, enjoying Keeka’s misery.

Keeka hates the Swans so much. She hopes to become a Swan soon.

EPISODE 10: PLASTIC FEATHER

During a morning, in a very upper-class neighborhood, a rich, slightly overweight woman named Keeka wakes up in her mansion’s bedroom. She is laying on her gigantic bed. Laying next to her on the bed and still asleep is a handsome man.

Keeka gets out of her bed and goes into her bathroom. She closes the bathroom door, then looks into the bathroom mirror and says to herself: “I am a Swan. I, Keeka, am a Swan! This is not a dream. It’s real! It’s really real!”

Keeka has been having this type of morning mirror conversation with herself on a daily basis for some time now.

Some years ago, Keeka was not rich, and she did not live in this mansion or this neighborhood. She had to work for a living.

Then one day, Keeka won a lottery, thereby becoming rich. Winning that lottery changed Keeka’s life. She quit her unsatisfying job and moved out of her apartment and into the mansion that she now resides in.

Almost immediately after moving into the mansion, Keeka received a visit from four very tall, very beautiful women named Miona, Fawna, Tabeeza, and Nella. They are rich residents of the upper-class neighborhood Keeka moved into. Miona and Fawna and Nella and Tabeeza are members of an exclusive social clique known as the Swans. The Swans are very, very popular. All of the neighborhood’s other female residents want to be Swans, and all of the neighborhood’s male residents want to be with the Swans.

Upon meeting the Swans and learning about their social clique, Keeka badly wanted to be a Swan. She craved that Swan status, and all that came with it: popularity; power; access to exclusive parties; and envy and resentment from non-Swans.

Keeka asked the Swans if she could join their social clique. In response to this request, the Swans laughed cruelly, then told Keeka that she wasn’t the type of woman who would traditionally be considered for Swan membership; that Swan candidates were usually physically attractive, unlike Keeka.

Keeka couldn’t accept the rejection. She wanted to be part of this social clique so badly. She begged and begged and begged to be granted membership into the Swans.

After some deliberation, the Swans told Keeka that they would allow her to be a candidate for Swan membership.

Swan candidates were usually referred to as Ducklings. Keeka, however, was given a special designation by the Swans, for unspecified reasons: Ugly Duckling.

Unfortunately for Keeka, Swan membership candidates were required to go through a brutal hazing process to become Swans. This hazing process involved being tortured by the Swans in various ways, and having to do whatever the Swans wanted the candidate to do.

During Keeka’s hazing period, which lasted for years, the Swans subjected Keeka to all kinds of misery, including but not limited to: pouring a bucket of very cold water on Keeka; sticking used gum in Keeka’s hair; making Keeka eat a bar of soap; pouring a bucket of mud on Keeka; pelting Keeka with tomatoes; making Keeka eat a shoe; pouring a bucket of ants on Keeka; making Keeka eat nothing but peanut butter, which she is highly allergic to, for an entire year; making Keeka drink toilet water; pouring a bucket of leeches on Keeka; making Keeka wear a plastic pig nose over her real nose at all times for an entire year; making Keeka attend her high school reunion while wearing the aforementioned plastic pig nose; and pouring a bucket of tar on Keeka, then pouring a bucket of feathers on Keeka.

That last-mentioned form of torture involving tar and feathers was of particular significance to Keeka. After tarring and feathering Keeka, the Swans explained to Keeka that the feathers were swan feathers, and that the feathers were meant to symbolize that the Swans were accepting Keeka into their social clique; that she was no longer an Ugly Ducking; that she was now a Swan. It was the happiest moment of Keeka’s life.

And now, Keeka, who is still looking at herself in the bathroom mirror, says to herself again: “I, Keeka, am a Swan.”

It still seems like some kind of wonderful dream.

“But it’s real!” Keeka says. “It’s really real!”

Keeka exits the bathroom and returns to her bedroom. Her handsome male lover is still on her bed, but he is awake now.

When Keeka met Miona, Fawna, Nella, and Tabeeza, all four of them were single. Since that day, Miona, Fawna, Nella, and Tabeeza have each gotten married. All of their spouses are handsome men.

One of the Swans’ husbands is the handsome man currently laying on Keeka’s bed. His name is Sergio. He is married to Fawna. Sergio recently started visiting Keeka in her mansion on a regular basis.

“I have to meet with Fawna and the other Swans today,” Keeka says. “We’re having our weekly meeting.”

“That’s nice,” Sergio says.

“Are you sure Fawna doesn’t know we’re having an affair?” Keeka says.

“Fawna doesn’t suspect anything,” Sergio says.

“I don’t know why, but when I speak with her, I sometimes get the sense that she knows about our affair,” Keeka says.

“Fawna is completely oblivious,” Sergio says. “Right now, she thinks I’m in another country, doing one of my week-long modeling shoots.”

“I wish you never married Fawna,” Keeka says. “I wish you had chosen me over her on that night we both met you. If you had chosen me, maybe you and I would be married now, and we wouldn’t need to keep our relationship a secret. Why did you choose her over me?”

“I chose the both of you,” Sergio says. “I just chose Fawna first, that’s all. I could have just as easily chosen you first, Keeka, and gotten married to you instead of Fawna. But then I’d be having a secret affair with Fawna right now instead of you. I wouldn’t want to be doing that to you, Keeka. I respect you too much to deceive you like that.”

“But why did you choose Fawna at all?” Keeka says. “Why couldn’t you just choose me?”

“Keeka, I’m a heterosexual man,” Sergio says. “I have needs: emotional needs and carnal needs. Fawna has all the outer beauty to satisfy my carnal needs, and you have all the inner beauty to satisfy my emotional needs.”

“But I can satisfy all your carnal needs too,” Keeka says.

“Keeka, don’t be ridiculous,” Sergio says. “Fawna is one of the most beautiful women in the universe. Every part of her body is perfect. She’s so very, very hot, whereas you, Keeka, are so very, very not. If you and Fawna were food, Fawna would be a delicious, exquisite cake, and you would be a yucky, soggy stew. But while the Fawna cake looks and tastes so very, very good, it contains only empty calories. And while the Keeka stew looks and tastes so very, very, very bad, it contains many nutrients. Those nutrients are your inner beauty, Keeka. You have so much inner beauty.”

“I wish you wouldn’t say things like that,” Keeka says.

“I meant it as a complement,” Sergio says.

“It didn’t feel like a complement,” Keeka says.

“But it is a complement!” Sergio says. “It’s the greatest complement of all. You have so, so much inner beauty. You’re kind and interesting and intelligent and generous. If your inner beauty was outer beauty, you would be the most beautiful woman in the whole universe.”

Keeka is blushing now. “Oh, Sergio, that’s so sweet of you to say,” Keeka says.

She kisses him.

Later, Keeka enters Fawna and Sergio’s mansion. The Swans’ meeting is going to be taking place here today.

There will be much to discuss at this meeting. One major topic of discussion will be a woman named Sabrina.

Some time after the day that Miona, Fawna, Nella, and Tabeeza tarred and feathered Keeka and told Keeka that she was granted Swan membership, a beautiful woman named Sabrina became a candidate for Swan membership. For a brief moment in time, Keeka was looking forward to Sabrina’s candidacy period, as Keeka was eager to subject Sabrina to various brutal hazing tortures, much like what Keeka had been subjected to during her candidacy period.

However, much to Keeka’s dismay, just before the start of Sabrina’s candidacy period, Miona and Fawna and Nella and Tabeeza collectively decided to abolish the Swans’ practice of hazing candidates for Swan membership. Keeka objected to this, but she was outvoted by Miona, Nella, Tabeeza, and Fawna. So Sabrina’s candidacy period was devoid of hazing, much to Keeka’s dismay.

After a very, very short candidacy period that was much shorter than Keeka’s candidacy period, Sabrina was granted Swan membership. However, very recently, Sabrina quit the Swans. She was the very first Swan to ever voluntarily relinquish her membership. Her decision to quit was a shock to the other Swans.

Keeka is now entering the dining room of Fawna and Sergio’s mansion. On one of the dining room’s walls is a very large framed photograph of Fawna and Sergio on their wedding day at their outdoor wedding reception. In the photograph, Sergio is sitting on a chair, and Fawna is sitting on Sergio’s lap and has her arms wrapped around him and is smiling smugly at the camera, as if she is gloating about winning the marriage of the handsome man she is sitting on.

Also in the photograph, in the distant background, Keeka is hanging upside down from a tree branch that she is tied to. This photograph was taken during Keeka’s candidacy period. When that picture was taken, she was covered with a cream that has a scent that strongly attracts mosquitoes. This and the tree hanging were done by Miona, Fawna, Nella, and Tabeeza to torture Keeka and also to keep mosquitoes away from all the other people attending this outdoor wedding reception. In the photograph, Keeka is covered in mosquitoes. That was a horrible day for her.

Keeka is looking at the photograph, specifically Fawna’s smug, cruel, pretty face. Keeka would love to reveal her affair with Sergio to Fawna to hurt Fawna, but Keeka knows that she can’t do so, as doing so would also hurt Sergio and also potentially get Keeka banished from the Swans.

Keeka sits down at the dining room’s table, where Miona, Fawna, Nella, and Tabeeza are all sitting. The meeting begins. Various important topics are discussed, including but not limited to: exclusive parties that the Swans will be attending; exclusive parties that the Swans have been invited to, but will not be attending; Tabeeza’s newly-purchased, ultra-expensive mini-skirt; Nella’s newly-purchased, ultra-expensive anklet; a new sun cream that Miona uses when she is at the beach; a life-size, painstakingly accurate nude statue of Fawna that Fawna had arranged to be created for Sergio as a gift; various neighbors that the Swans have decided to shun for various reasons; and lipstick.

Now the topic of discussion is Sabrina the ex-Swan. Keeka has been eagerly awaiting this topic. She intends to use it as a platform to argue for the reinstatement of the Swans’ practice of hazing Swan membership candidates.

“I told you all Sabrina was a bad candidate for Swan membership,” Keeka says. “I told you! I’m not at all surprised that she quit our group. I knew all along that she was incapable of truly appreciating what it means to be a Swan. That would have been made clear to you all if we had hazed her during her candidacy period. She wouldn’t have been willing to endure our tortures and she would have withdrawn her candidacy. That’s why we need to bring back our hazing practice. It’s the only way we can identify candidates who truly deserve to become Swans. Like I was.”

Fawna snickers.

Keeka, continuing to speak, says: “I make a motion that we bring back our hazing practice.”

Much to Keeka’s surprise, Miona and Nella and Tabeeza and Fawna all vote in favor of Keeka’s motion. Keeka is delighted, and also deeply moved by this unexpected full support for her idea. Keeka had expected at least some resistance. Now, Keeka feels a little bad that she is having an affair with Fawna’s husband. Not bad enough to confess the affair to Fawna. But bad nonetheless.

“So it’s official,” Nella says. “Based on Keeka’s well-argued reasoning, the Swans hereby reinstate our practice of hazing Swan membership candidates.”

Excitedly, Keeka takes a notebook out of her purse. “I’m so happy that you all agree with me!” she says. “I have been so eager to get the opportunity to haze someone! I’ve even been keeping this notebook of ideas for hazing tortures we can inflict on candidates! I can’t wait to start making these ideas a reality!”

Tabeeza picks up the notebook and begins looking through it. “Wow, so many great ideas!” she says. “Who would have thought that our little Keeka was capable of imagining these acts of creative cruelty?”

“And this notebook of yours couldn’t have been introduced to us at a more perfect time, Keeka!” Nella says. “What perfect timing!”

“You mean we have a new Swan membership candidate starting with us?” Keeka says.

“Not quite,” Miona says. “We have a surprise for you, Keeka. A wonderful surprise! Do you remember that day that we informed you that you were accepted into our group?”

“Of course I remember,” Keeka says. “It was the greatest day of my life.”

“Yes, and do you remember how we revealed to you that you had become a Swan?” Miona says.

“You tarred and feathered me, as per tradition,” Keeka says.

“Actually, only the feathers are part of the tradition,” Fawna says. “Covering you with tar was just something we did because we thought it would be funny. And it was! You looked so stupid with all that tar and feathers stuck to you, Keeka!”

Miona and Fawna and Nella and Tabeeza all laugh cruelly at Keeka.

Keeka is confused. “I don’t understand…” she says. “What is happening?”

From Fawna’s ultra-expensive purse, Fawna takes out a single feather. She places the feather on the table, directly in front of Keeka.

“This is one of the many swan feathers that we covered you with on that day,” Fawna says. “I plucked this feather off of you while we were all celebrating with you. I saved the feather so that I could show it to you on this day. You didn’t examine any of the swan feathers that we covered you with, did you, Keeka? Of course you didn’t. Because you’re stupid, Keeka. So very stupid.”

Keeka picks up the swan feather and examines it.

“Yes, Keeka, it’s made of plastic,” Fawna says. “It’s not a real swan feather. None of the feathers we covered you with were real swan feathers. If we had really admitted you into the Swans that day, we would have used real swan feathers.”

Keeka is shaking. “You mean…” she says.

“Yes, it was all a joke, Keeka!” Fawna says. “You’re not a Swan! You’re still just a candidate for Swan membership! A Duckling! An Ugly Duckling!”

Miona and Nella and Tabeeza are all laughing cruelly at Keeka now.

“No, not that,” Keeka says. “Please, not that! I can’t go back to being an Ugly Duckling! Please don’t make me go back to being an Ugly Duckling! I want to stay a Swan!”

“You never were a Swan, Keeka,” Fawna says. “But if you hang in there, and continue to endure all of the misery that we inflict on you, perhaps… just perhaps… one day we may cover you with real swan feathers.”

Keeka is devastated. She sees her notebook on the table. The notebook containing hundreds of her ideas for different forms of hazing she wanted to inflict on some other Swan membership candidate. She reaches for the notebook, but Nella snatches it away before Keeka can grab it.

“We’ll make sure all of your ideas in this notebook are put to use, Keeka… on you!” Nella says.

“And I have one more surprise for you, Keeka,” Fawna says. “Sergio, come in here!”

Sergio enters the room, much to Keeka’s surprise.

“Your passionate affair with Sergio was also a joke we were playing on you,” Fawna says. “I’ve known about you and Sergio all along. I orchestrated it. I told him that I wouldn’t let him have me anymore unless he initiated a ‘secret’ affair with you and misled you into thinking he was in love with you. But Sergio isn’t really in love with you at all, Keeka!”

“It’s true, Keeka,” Sergio says. “I don’t even like you. And how could I? I’m a handsome male model and you’re just an Ugly Duckling. I love Fawna and only Fawna. I was only with you so I could be with Fawna again.” To Fawna, Sergio says pleadingly: “Is it over now? Can I stop? Please let me stop! I don’t want to endure Keeka’s fat, disgusting body anymore! Please let me stop, Fawna!”

“You may stop being with Keeka, Sergio,” Fawna says.

Sergio looks so relieved, as if a disgusting weight has been taken off him.

“Now go wait for me in our bedroom,” Fawna says. “I have a special treat to give you there. It will help you wash the horrible taste of Keeka out of your mouth.”

Sergio scampers out of the dining room, going to the bedroom to wait for his treat.

“So you see, Keeka, Sergio never loved you and you’re just a fat, disgusting Ugly Duckling,” Fawna says. “And now I want you to eat the plastic feather.”

“I hate you,” Keeka says. “I hate you all so much!”

Keeka proceeds to eat the plastic feather, which tastes terrible. The Swans are all laughing cruelly at Keeka. Keeka hopes to become a Swan soon.

EPISODE 11: LOCUSTS

In an upper-class neighborhood, a rich woman named Keeka is in her mansion. Every room in Keeka’s mansion is full of locusts. The locusts are everywhere, flying in swarms.

Keeka does not like the locusts and would prefer that they were not in her mansion. She has been trying, unsuccessfully, to avoid them. At the moment, she is trying to get various locusts off of her body and out of her hair. But for every locust that Keeka removes, two more take its place. Keeka wants to scream, but she won’t, as that would lead to locusts going into her mouth.

The locusts have been in Keeka’s mansion for almost a week now. They were arranged to be put there by four very tall, very rich, very beautiful female neighbors of Keeka. The names of the four female neighbors are Fawna, Nella, Miona, and Tabeeza. They are a social clique known as the Swans. The Swans are very, very popular. Many women want to be Swans, and many men want to be with the Swans.

Keeka wants to be a Swan. She desperately craves the popularity and power that comes with being a Swan.

Currently, Keeka is a candidate for Swan membership. She has been a candidate for a very, very long time, so much so that she sometimes wonders if the Swans have no intention of ever making her a Swan.

Unfortunately for Keeka, Swan membership candidates are required to be subjected to a grueling hazing process. This hazing process involves being tortured by the Swans in various ways, and having to obey all of the Swans’ commands.

The locusts in Keeka’s mansion are the latest torture the Swans are subjecting Keeka to. The Swans are requiring Keeka to stay in her mansion with these locusts for an entire week. This has been a very long week for Keeka.

In theory, Keeka could exit the mansion and get far, far away from the locusts. But doing so would be a violation of the terms of her Swan membership candidacy, thereby ending any chance she has of ever becoming a Swan. So Keeka stays in the mansion with the many, many locusts. Keeka hates the Swans so much. She hopes to become a Swan soon.

EPISODE 12: ZOO CAGE

In a very upper-class neighborhood, there is a zoo. In that zoo, there are many, many caged animals on display for visitors to view.

At the moment, the zoo is open, and many, many people are visiting the zoo.

In one of the cages, between two caged gorillas, is a woman named Keeka.

Keeka is a candidate for membership into an exclusive social clique known as the Swans. The Swans consist of four very tall, very beautiful, very rich women. Their names are Nella, Fawna, Tabeeza, and Miona. They are very, very popular.

Keeka desperately wants to be a Swan. She craves the popularity and envy from others and resentment from others that comes with being a Swan.

Unfortunately for Keeka, Swan membership candidates are required to go through a brutal hazing process in order to become Swans. This hazing process involves having to endure all kinds of torture from the Swans and having to obey all the Swans’ commands.

Keeka being in this zoo cage is the latest hazing torture that the Swans are subjecting her to. She has been in this cage for several days now.

At the moment, the Swans are standing outside the cage, pointing at Keeka and laughing at her.

“I told every one of Keeka’s former classmates about this,” one of the Swans, Fawna, says.

“Good idea,” one of the Swans, Miona, says.

“They must think Keeka is a total loser,” one of the Swans, Tabeeza, says.

“She is a total loser,” one of the Swans, Nella, says.

The Swans all laugh cruelly.

“Well, I guess we should be leaving now,” Miona says. “The party will be starting shortly. See you tomorrow, Keeka.”

The Swans begin walking away from Keeka’s cage.

“Wait!” Keeka says. “How much longer do I have to stay in here? When do I get to leave the cage? When do I get to become a Swan? WHEN DO I GET TO BECOME A SWAN?”

The Swans are all gone now.

One of the nearby gorillas throws some of its excrement at Keeka. The excrement hits her in the face. For some reason, the gorillas don’t like Keeka.