Characters

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Abigail: female; employee of the honey corporation

 

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Alan: male; employee of the honey corporation

 

Alexandra

Alexandra: female; one of the female models who Andrew Squervil encounters on Ilgana’s island

 

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Amelia: female

 

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Andreea: female; friend of Barbara

 

Andrew Squervil

Andrew Squervil: male; sleazy; was rich until becoming financially ruined as a result of a lawsuit; wants to regain his wealthy status; good at seducing women; prefers beautiful women and despises hideous women, but inexplicably often ends up needing to have intimate encounters with hideous women to achieve various objectives; has a strong distaste for employment; has a strong distaste for monogamy, but would like to marry a moneyed honey to gain access to her wealth; has misadventures that often result in him failing to become rich and/or becoming imprisoned and/or being mercilessly beaten; also known as “Unfortunate Andrew”

 

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Anna: female; dating advice columnist

 

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Annette: female

 

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Antonio: male

 

Aquaria

Aquaria: female; one of the “space hotties” that Andrew Squervil encounters during the “Hottie Overload 4: Hotties in Space” misadventure

 

 

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Ashley: female; member of the Dibizbee Foundation’s board of directors

 

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Barbara: female; landlord; friend of Andreea

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Bartholomew Dibizbee: male; founder of the Dibizbee Foundation; married to Rena Dibizbee

 

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Bellina: female

 

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Biff: male; underwear model

 

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Blake: male

 

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Blerva: female; employed at the honey corporation for a period of time

 

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Bonnie: female; member of the Dibizbee Foundation’s board of directors

 

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Bradford: male; married to Clora for a period of time

 

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Breea: female; heiress

 

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Brian: male

 

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Brock: male

 

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Callandra: female; resides on Eternia’s island

 

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Calvin; male; friend of Grock; infatuated with Grock’s girlfriend Jessica

 

Carla
 

Carla: female; a friend of Eternia; lives on Eternia’s island; encounters Andrew Squervil during his second time on Eternia’s island; after Eternia traps Andrew on the island and imprisons Andrew in a pelvic prison as punishment for cheating on her, Carla, who is aware that Andrew finds her highly attractive, regularly torments Andrew by doing exotic dances in front of him

 

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Catalina: female

 

Cherrene

Cherrene: female

 

 

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Chip: male; underwear model

 

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Claudia: female

 

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Clora: female; married to Bradford for a period of time

 

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Cole: male; friend of Paul

 

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Courtney: female; employee of the honey corporation

 

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Craig: male; Melissa’s husband; romantically obsessed with Melissa’s friend Vanessa

 

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Dana: female; heiress

 

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Darlene: female; friend of Nancy; fond of Nancy’s husband Steven

 

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Debra: female; police detective

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Deedra: female

 

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Delila: female

 

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Derek: male

 

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Dexter: male

 

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Diana: female; Blake’s wife for a period of time

 

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Dominica: female; has a bodybuilder physique; Lililalaya’s personal assistant; deeply infatuated with Lililalaya

 

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Donna: female; friend of Olga and Inna

 

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Douglas: male; engaged to Prettia for a period of time

 

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Duncan: male

 

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Edwin: male

 

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Elaine: female; member of the Dibizbee Foundation’s board of directors

 

Elizaveta

Elizaveta: female; heiress

 

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Eloisa: female; model

 

Elsa
 

Elsa: female; one of the models who Andrew Squervil encounters on Ilgana’s island

 

Endara

Endara: female

 

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Eternia: female; queen of an island; named after a goddess in an ancient short story

 

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Eva: female

 

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Fawna: female; member of an exclusive social clique known as the Swans

 

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Felina: female

 

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Ferga: female

 

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Francine: female; member of the Dibizbee Foundation’s board of directors

 

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Frederick: male; Zana’s ex-husband

 

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Gaz: male; sleazy; a professional photographer

 

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Georgina: female; heiress

 

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Gil: male; Keeka’s boyfriend for a period of time

 

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Gloria; female; owner and president of the honey corporation for a period of time

 

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Golias: male; married to a woman; friend of Bradford; ends up becoming romantically obsessed with Bradford’s wife Clora

 

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Gorla: female; Ilgana’s maid for a period of time

 

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Grock: male; professional wrestler; friend of Calvin;  Jessica’s boyfriend

 

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Gunther: male; police detective

 

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Gwendola: female

 

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Hana: female; employee of the honey corporation

 

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Heath: male

 

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Henrik: male

 

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Herk: male; Lililalaya’s personal assistant for a period of time

 

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Igbert: male; in love with a woman who finds him repulsive

 

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Ilgana Timov: female; heiress

 

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Inga: female

 

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Inna: female; friend of Olga

 

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Ivonka Keibler: female; therapist

 

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Jacqueline Debenedictus: female

 

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Jan: female

 

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Jared: male

 

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Jenna: female; employee of the honey corporation for a period of time

 

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Jennifer Fershteyn: female; Patricia Fershteyn’s sister

 

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Jessica: female; model; Grock’s girlfriend

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Johaxtra: female; works at a gym

 

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John: male

 

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Josef: male; employee of the honey corporation

 

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Julia: female

 

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Karl: male; married to Velaina for a period of time

 

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Keeka: female; candidate for membership into an exclusive social clique known as the Swans

 

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Kiki: female

 

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Koila: female

 

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Konya Kang: female

 

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Lauren: female

 

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Layla: female

 

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Leonardo: male; Lililalaya’s personal assistant for a period of time

 

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Leslie: female; employee of the honey corporation

 

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Lethelia: female; one of Gloria’s maids

 

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Liglio: male; model

 

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Lililalaya: female; very famous celebrity; supermodel and an actress and a songstress; the object of desire in many, many men’s fantasies

 

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Linda: female; friend of Olga

 

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Lisa: female; employee of the honey corporation

 

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Loika: female

 

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Londra: female; works at a pizzeria; highly desired by Igbert, who she finds repulsive

 

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Luchenzo: male

 

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Marco: male

 

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Maria: female; employed at the honey corporation for a period of time

 

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Mariella: female; yoga instructor

 

Marissa

Marissa: female

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Martin Pimbly: male; friend of Andrew Squervil; Pustilla’s boyfriend
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Melissa: female; Craig’s wife; friend of Vanessa

 

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Mia: female

 

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Michelle: female

 

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Milana: female; employee of the honey corporation

 

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Mindy: female

 

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Minga: female; works at a barber shop

 

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Miona: female; member of an exclusive social clique known as the Swans

 

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Molly: female; maid

 

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Monica: female

 

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Nancy: female; married to Steven; friend of Darlene

 

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Naomi: female; actress

 

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Nella: female; member of an exclusive social clique known as the Swans

 

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Nerwin: male; employee of the honey corporation

 

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Nicole: female; actress

 

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Nolda: female

 

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Olga: female; friend of Inna

 

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Olivia: female; friend of Gloria

 

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Oralene: female; friend of Cherrene

 

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Orvel: male; ends up becoming romantically obsessed with the Sentera sisters

 

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Oxana; female; married; friend of Zolana

 

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Patricia Fershteyn: female; Jennifer Fershteyn’s sister

 

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Paul: male; friend of Cole

 

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Prettia: female

 

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Priscilla: female; employee of the honey corporation

 

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Pustilla: female; Martin Pimbly’s girlfriend; friend of Riora

 

Rachel

Rachel: female: employee of the honey corporation

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Rena Dibizbee: female; married to Bartholomew Dibizbee; member of the Dibizbee Foundation’s board of directors

 

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Riora: female; attorney; friend of Pustilla

 

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Roy: male

 

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Sabrina Sentera: female; one of the Sentera sisters

 

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Samantha Sentera: female; one of the Sentera sisters

 

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Sandra Sentera: female; one of the Sentera sisters

 

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Sara Sentera: female; one of the Sentera sisters

 

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Selena Sentera: female; one of the Sentera sisters

 

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Sergio: male

 

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Seth: male; ends up getting married to Vora; employed at the honey corporation

 

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Severia Sentera: female; one of the Sentera sisters

 

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Sharon: female; member of the Dibizbee Foundation’s board of directors

 

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Sheila: female; stalker of Andrew Squervil

 

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Simona Sentera: female; one of the Sentera sisters

 

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Sindra Spindler: female; a judge

 

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Slergo: male; sleazy

 

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Sliv Slitsky: male

 

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Sofia: female

 

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Sonya Sentera: female; one of the Sentera sisters

 

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Stacy: female; member of the Dibizbee Foundation’s board of directors

 

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Stephanie: female; employee of the honey corporation

 

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Steven: male; married to Nancy; fond of Nancy’s friend Darlene

 

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Strinella: female

 

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Suslova: female

 

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Sustranna Sentera: female; one of the Sentera sisters

 

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Svenka: female

 

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Tabeeza: female; member of an exclusive social clique known as the Swans

 

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Tartana: female

 

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Tatiana Ouliankina Shereshevskaya Kruglyak Stefanescu: female; divorcee

 

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Ted: male; in love with Eloisa, who finds him repulsive

 

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Teresa: female

 

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Thad: male; employee of the honey corporation

 

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Thona: female; has a bodybuilder physique

 

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Tia: female; member of the Dibizbee Foundation’s board of directors

 

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Tiffani Desmondeen: female

 

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Todd: male; Sara Sentera’s ex-boyfriend

 

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Tracey Blerp: female

 

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Tresella: female

 

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Troy Martel: male

 

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Ulsa: female

 

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Ursula: female: hypnotistress

 

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Vanessa: female; friend of Melissa

 

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Velaina: female; attorney; represents Andrew Squervil in the lawsuit that leads to his financial ruin; married to Karl for a period of time

 

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Victoria: female; bodybuilder

 

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Vlik: male

 

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Vonda: female; Grock’s personal trainer

 

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Vora: female; ends up getting married to Seth

 

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Williger: male; a professional writer

 

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Xenia: female; model

 

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Yelena: female; friend of Zlinka

 

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Zana: female; Frederick’s ex-wife

 

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Zarlena: female; actress

 

 

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Zlinka: female; married; friend of Yelena

 

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Zolana: female; bodybuilder; friend of Oxana

 

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Zotica: female; heiress; sculptress

 

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Zuzana: female; an avid reader of Anna’s advice column

 

 

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