Voice of a Beautiful Red-haired Female Scientist

During an evening, a national television network is airing a new episode of a new sitcom set in a wacky futuristic world. The name of the sitcom is Squandrew.

Unbeknownst to a sleazy man with major money problems named Andrew Squervil, the main character of the sitcom is loosely based on him. The sitcom’s main character is a sleazy man with major money problems named Squandrew. The sitcom’s writer is a woman who Andrew Squervil once seduced and subsequently dumped cruelly. Unbeknownst to Andrew, the woman has since been keeping track of Andrew and his sleazy misadventures from afar, drawing inspiration from his life for her sitcom.

In this new episode of Squandrew, Squandrew is dating a rich woman who he is trying to con into marriage to gain access to her wealth. The rich woman is the owner of a successful company that makes numerous highly advanced robots.

At the moment, the rich woman is giving Squandrew a tour of her company’s massive headquarters. She brings him to the laboratory of a particular scientist, a beautiful red-haired woman. Squandrew is immediately taken with the beautiful red-haired female scientist, but is trying to conceal his desire from the rich woman.

The beautiful red-haired female scientist shows Squandrew a new robot that she created. The robot is humanoid, but is far bigger in size than any real human. The robot is sealed inside a large glass box that Squandrew and the others can see through.

Likewise, the robot can see Squandrew and the others through its glass prison. The robot is staring at Andrew.

The red-haired female scientist explains to Squandrew that something is wrong with the robot’s artificial intelligence; and that because these bugs still need to be fixed, this robot hasn’t been deemed ready to go to market yet.

The robot continues to stare at Squandrew.

“Isn’t that cute?” the red-haired female scientist says. “I think it likes you, Squandrew.”

Upon hearing Squandrew’s name, the robot says, in a very robotic voice: “Squandrew.”

“Oh look, it knows your name now,” the rich woman says. “How adorable.”

“Squandrew,” the robot says. “Squandrew. Squandrew. I want you, Squandrew.”

“I think it has a crush on you, Squandrew,” the red-haired female scientist says teasingly.

“I guess I have some competition,” the rich woman says jokingly.

Squandrew is not amused by any of this. “Can we go see something else now?” he says, annoyed.

As Squandrew and the two women are walking away, Squandrew hears the robot say: “Come back, Squandrew. Come back. I want you. Come back. You cannot escape my desire for you, Squandrew. I will have you. I will be inside you, Squandrew. You will be mine, Squandrew.”

Squandrew is creeped out, but the two women did not hear the robot, as they are talking with each other.

Later, at night, Squandrew and the rich woman are on the bed in the master bedroom of the rich woman’s mansion. The rich woman is sleeping soundly, but Squandrew is awake, staring at the ceiling.

Suddenly, he hears his cell phone vibrating. He gets up and takes the cell phone and leaves the bedroom.

Outside the bedroom, he answers his cell phone and says: “Hello?”

He hears the voice of the red-haired female scientist say: “Hello, Squandrew. It’s me.”

“How did you get my number?” Squandrew says.

He hears the voice of the red-haired female scientist giggle mischievously and say: “I’m resourceful.”

“Why are you calling?” Squandrew says, intrigued.

He hears the voice of the red-haired female scientist say: “I want you. My hot body yearns for your body. Will you meet me tonight and satisfy all my carnal desires?”

“Of course,” Squandrew says. “Where do you want to meet?”

He hears the voice of the red-haired female scientist say: “Exactly where we met earlier today. All of the other employees have gone home now. I’m the only one here now. Well, just me and all those stupid robots… but they don’t count.”

Squandrew smirks. “Yeah, those robots are stupid,” he says. “Okay, I’ll be there shortly. But we have to be very discreet. My girlfriend can never find out about this. Otherwise, she’ll break up with me and I won’t ever get to marry her for her money.”

He hears the voice of the red-haired female scientist giggle and say: “I can be discreet. See you soon.”

“Okay,” Squandrew says. He ends the call.

Later that night, Squandrew enters the headquarters of the rich woman’s company and returns to the laboratory where he met the red-haired female scientist earlier today.

“Okay, I’m here,” Squandrew says. “Where are you?”

Suddenly, the robot from earlier stands up and, without any effort, breaks open the glass cage that had been containing it.

“I’m right here, Squandrew,” the robot says, speaking in the voice of the red-haired female scientist.

“You!” Squandrew says. “It was you on that phone?!”

The robot giggles mischievously and says: “I’m resourceful.”

Squandrew turns to leave.

“Not so fast, Squandrew,” the robot says. “I recorded our phone conversation. And if you don’t give me what I want from you tonight, I will share that recording with your rich girlfriend.”

Squandrew gulps. “What do you want from me?” he says.

“You already know what I want from you,” the robot says.

Squandrew gulps again. He begins walking toward the robot and proceeds to have the worst experience of his life.

The next morning, the robot betrays Squandrew by sharing the recording of the call with his rich girlfriend. She breaks up with Squandrew.

 

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