Several years ago, in a very upper-class neighborhood, a sleazy, handsome, rich man named Andrew Squervil exits his mansion and walks over to another mansion nearby. He knocks on the mansion’s front door.
A very beautiful brunette woman answers the door. Andrew can tell she is surprised and pleased by his handsomeness.
“Hello,” the woman says.
“Hello,” Andrew says. “My name is Andrew. Andrew Squervil. I’m one of your neighbors. I saw you and your husband moving into the mansion yesterday, so I thought I’d stop by to introduce myself and welcome you both to the neighborhood.”
“Oh, that’s so nice of you,” the brunette woman says. “My name is Tiffani. Tiffani Desmondeen. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
“The pleasure is most definitely all mine,” Andrew says. “Most definitely indeed.”
“I would introduce you to my husband, but he’s not here right now,” Tiffani says.
“Oh, too bad,” Andrew says, acting disappointed, even though he was already very aware that Tiffani’s husband is not here. Andrew saw Tiffani’s husband leaving the mansion this morning with some luggage, apparently going on a trip somewhere without his wife. “Will he be around later today?” Andrew says. “I’d love to meet him.”
“No, unfortunately, he left this morning for an overnight trip with some of his friends,” Tiffani says. “He won’t be back until tomorrow.”
“Oh, too bad,” Andrew says, secretly pleased. “Well anyway, welcome to the neighborhood. It was nice meeting you.” He turns to leave.
“Would you like to come in and have some tea with me?” Tiffani says.
“Sure, I’d love to,” Andrew says.
He enters the mansion.
About an hour later, Tiffani’s husband enters the mansion. He goes upstairs and begins walking down a hallway.
As he is passing by the mansion’s bathtub room, he hears Tiffani say from the bathtub room: “Is someone there?”
Tiffani’s husband says: “It’s just me, Tiffani.”
“What are you doing back here?” Tiffani says.
Tiffani’s husband enters the bathtub room. In the bathtub room is an absurdly large, absurdly wide, porcelain bathtub. The bathtub is filled with soapy water. Tiffani is in the bathtub, having a bubble bath. Only her head is visible. The soapy bubbles are covering the entire surface of the water, obscuring Tiffani’s body from the neck down, as well as anything else that might be underwater.
“After I left, I realized I that I forgot to pack my ski goggles,” Tiffani’s husband says. “So I came back here to get them. Though seeing you here in the bathtub makes me very tempted to cancel my trip and join you in the bathtub instead.”
“You’re always such a charmer,” Tiffani says. “But I want you to go on this trip with your friends and enjoy yourself. I’ll be here for you when you get back tomorrow.”
“Looking forward to it,” Tiffani’s husband says. “Okay, see you tomorrow.”
“See you tomorrow,” Tiffani says. “Have a fun time.”
Tiffani’s husband exits the bathtub room, then retrieves his ski goggles, then exits the mansion.
As soon as Tiffani hears her husband exit the mansion, she says: “Okay, he’s gone. You can come out now.”
Andrew, who is also in the bathtub, sticks his head out of a small mountain of tiny bubbles that had kept him hidden from Tiffani’s husband. He wipes soapy bubbles off of his face.
Tiffani giggles mischievously.
“That was a close call,” she says. “Now we can finish what we started.”
As Andrew is leaning in to kiss her, Tiffani says: “You’ll visit me again after today, won’t you?”
“Absolutely,” Andrew says, lying.
Several years later, during a morning, Tiffani is walking up to the mansion that Andrew was living in at the time of their intimate encounter. She is wearing a gray dress that outlines her shapely body. As she is walking up to the mansion, several nearby men stare at her backside.
Now at the mansion’s front door, Tiffani knocks on it.
A beautiful woman named Koila answers the door.
Tiffani is confused. She expected Andrew to answer the door.
“Hello,” Koila says. “Can I help you?”
“Hello,” Tiffani says. “My name is Tiffani. I came here to visit Andrew.”
“Andrew?” Koila says. “Andrew Squervil?”
“Yes,” Tiffani says.
“Andrew doesn’t live here anymore,” Koila says. “He moved out of this mansion a while ago.”
“Oh,” Tiffani says, disappointed. “Oh, okay. Well, thank you for letting me know.”
Tiffani turns to leave.
“Wait,” Koila says. “I’m just curious… how is it that you know Andrew?”
Tiffani turns back to Koila.
“My husband and I used to live in this neighborhood,” Tiffani says. “Andrew was our neighbor. How do you know Andrew?”
“Andrew seduced me,” Koila says. “He tricked me into falling in love with him to get what he wanted from me. After our intimate encounter, he revealed that he had tricked me and that he now wanted nothing more to do with me. I was furious at Andrew for deceiving me. So I filed a lawsuit against him. I won the lawsuit. The judge made Andrew pay me a huge amount of money, making me rich. Andrew had to sell his assets, including this mansion, to have enough money to pay the full amount owed to me. My lawsuit financially ruined Andrew. Some time after Andrew sold this mansion and moved out of it, I purchased it. I live here now. Let me guess: Andrew seduced you too.”
“Yes,” Tiffani says. “When Andrew and I were both still living in this neighborhood, he stopped by my mansion one day while my husband was away. Andrew completed his seduction of me in my bathtub while we were having a bubble bath together. It was a unique, wonderful experience for me. Andrew was so attentive… so very, very generous. He even shampooed my hair.”
“Oh yes, I know all about Andrew’s ‘shampoo’ routine,” Koila says. “He shampooed me too.”
“No man had ever washed my hair for me before,” Tiffani says. “He seemed so wonderful for so many different reasons. But after it was over, he said that he did not want to see me again; that he had gotten what he’d wanted from me; and that he would never visit me again.”
“You must have been very angry with him,” Koila says.
“I was,” Tiffani says. “For the longest time, I wanted to somehow get revenge on him. But I never did.”
“Well, if it’s any consolation, I financially ruined Andrew, and I can confirm that he is currently very, very miserable,” Koila says. “Currently, he lives in a crummy apartment and has major money problems. He lives in the apartment for free in exchange for being his hideous, obese female landlord’s plaything.”
“That’s terrible!” Tiffani says. “My poor, precious, unfortunate Andrew. I feel so bad for him.”
“What?!” Koila says. “How can you say that? He treated the both of us like dirt! How can you feel bad for him at all? Just a moment ago, you were saying that you wanted to get revenge on him!”
“Yes, I did want to get revenge on him,” Tiffani says. “But my anger toward Andrew faded away a long time ago. And now, my only feeling toward him is burning hot desire. That’s why I came here. That’s why I’m trying to locate him. I’ve decided that I’m going to divorce my husband. He and I have a prenuptial agreement. After we get divorced, our money and assets will be divided between us as per the agreement, and I will still be very, very rich. I want to have Andrew back in my life after my divorce… as my plaything. I’ll let him live in my mansion and give him a daily allowance and let him enjoy many, many luxuries.”
“Are you crazy?” Koila says. “He’ll cheat on you with other women!”
“I’ll let him be promiscuous,” Tiffani says. “I’d rather share him with other women than have no access to him whatsoever.”
“I don’t understand,” Koila says. “Why would you want to reward Andrew with all this happiness after how he treated you? He’s a sleazy creep who deserves nothing but unhappiness!”
“Andrew Squervil satisfied me better than any lover I’ve had before or since,” Tiffani says. “I know he’s a sleazy creep, but I desire him nonetheless. I must have him. He will be mine. Do you know the address of the apartment he now lives in?”
“Yes,” Koila says. “I know all kinds of current information about Andrew. But I can’t in good conscience help you reunite with Andrew Squervil! I invested so much into ruining his life! His life needs to stay ruined! He doesn’t deserve to live happily ever after as your pet!”
“Please help me locate Andrew,” Tiffani says. “It would mean so much to me.”
After a few seconds, Koila says: “I’ll help you… on one condition: I want you to spend the day with me.”
“Why?” Tiffani says.
“Because I’m hoping that, with enough time, I can convince you to not take Andrew back,” Koila says.
“Okay… I guess,” Tiffani says. “But my mind is already made up.”
“We’ll see,” Koila says.
Later, in the early afternoon, Koila and Tiffani are at a beach. They are laying on beach towels, wearing very revealing bathing suits, sunning themselves.
“Why are you looking for Andrew now anyway?” Koila says. “Shouldn’t you wait until after you get divorced?”
“It is risky,” Tiffani says. “If my husband can prove that I was unfaithful to him during our marriage, he will get all of our money and assets, as per the prenuptial agreement. Right now, my husband thinks I’m visiting some friends of mine in another country. I need to find Andrew and make sure he is ready, willing, and able to be my plaything. If he’s not available, I won’t have any reason to get divorced. It’s all about Andrew.”
“I’m so baffled by your desire for Andrew,” Koila says. “He’s a manipulative creep. Don’t take him back. Don’t make the same mistake I did.”
“What do you mean?” Tiffani says.
“I didn’t mention this before… but… some time after my lawsuit against Andrew, I got back together with him,” Koila says.
“You did?” Tiffani says.
“Yes,” Koila says. “He convinced me that he was a changed man and no longer a sleazy womanizer. He tricked me into falling in love with him again. I let him back into my life. I let him into my mansion, into my bedroom. And then one day, I found out that he was cheating on me with my maid. So I dumped him and evicted him from my mansion.”
“I’m sorry that Andrew deceived you again,” Tiffani says. “But my expectations of Andrew are different from what yours were. I know he’s a sleazy womanizer. I know he’ll never change. I have no intention of trying to change him. I don’t expect love or monogamy from him. All I want from him are the carnal delights he can provide me with, nothing more.”
“If you go through with this, you’ll be making the worst mistake of your life,” Koila says. “You think you won’t regret it, but you will.”
Tiffani turns onto her stomach and says: “Can you apply sun cream to my backside?”
“Sure,” Koila says, still hopeful that she can convince Tiffani.
Koila picks up her bottle of sun cream and squirts some sun cream into her hand. She begins applying the sun cream to Tiffani’s backside.
“Oh…” Tiffani says, as if she suddenly, unexpectedly received a vast amount of carnal pleasure. “Oh my…”
“Are you okay?” Koila says.
“Oh… yes,” Tiffani says. “I’m… good.”
Koila continues applying the sun cream to Tiffani’s backside.
Later, in the late afternoon, Koila is driving her car towards the hotel that Tiffani is staying in. Tiffani is sitting in the car’s front passenger seat.
Koila stops the car in front of the hotel.
“Well here we are,” Koila says.
“Thanks for driving me back to my hotel, Koila,” Tiffani says. “It was fun getting to know you today.”
“I enjoyed getting to know you too, Tiffani,” Koila says. “So did I change your mind about Andrew?”
“Sorry to disappoint you, but you didn’t,” Tiffani says. “That reminds me: can I have his contact information now?”
Feeling defeated, Koila writes down Andrew’s current address and phone number on a piece of paper and gives it to Tiffani.
“Thank you so much!” Tiffani says, delighted. “I’m going to invite him over to my hotel suite tonight. The suite has a bathtub… and lots and lots of shampoo. Goodbye, Koila.”
“Goodbye, Tiffani,” Koila says.
Later, in Tiffani’s hotel suite, while laying on her bed and wearing only a very revealing black robe, Tiffani picks up her phone and places a call to Andrew.
In Andrew Squervil’s crummy apartment, Andrew hears his phone ringing. He picks it up and answers it. “Hello?” he says.
“Hello, Andrew Squervil,” Tiffani says, trying to sound as sexy as possible. “It’s Tiffani. Tiffani Desmondeen. Do you remember me?”
“No,” Andrew says. “But you sound like a total hottie.”
“I am,” Tiffani says. “And I’m rich.”
“You are?” Andrew says, increasingly interested in this woman.
“Yes,” Tiffani says. “We used to be neighbors, before you were stripped of your wealth and had to move out of your mansion. You seduced me. I never stopped thinking about you. I want you back in my life… as my plaything. I’m planning to divorce my husband. If all goes as planned, I’ll still be very rich after the divorce. After the divorce, you can live with me in my mansion, satisfying my many carnal desires and indulging in all the luxuries that my wealth can provide you with. Will you be my plaything, Andrew Squervil?”
“Absolutely,” Andrew says. “When can I start?”
“I still need to initiate the divorce proceedings… but I suppose that’s no reason for me to delay indulging in you,” Tiffani says. “Can you come to my hotel suite tonight?”
“Yes, definitely,” Andrew says.
Tiffani tells Andrew the address and suite number of the hotel suite she is staying in. Andrew writes down the information on a piece of paper.
“My hot body is waiting for you, Andrew Squervil,” Tiffani says.
She ends the phone call.
Andrew thinks: I’m finally going to get the happy ending I deserve.
In the hotel that Tiffani is staying in, Tiffani comes out of her suite and walks up to a vending machine in the hallway. In the vending machine are various items available for purchase, including condoms. The condoms are several different sizes. Tiffani, who intends to buy some condoms for her meeting with Andrew tonight, looks over all the condoms in the vending machine. Remembering her previous intimate encounter with Andrew, she says cheerfully: “Hmmm… Better go with extra-small.”
Later, Andrew arrives at Tiffani’s hotel suite. He knocks on the suite’s front door.
Tiffani answers the door, wearing only revealing black lingerie.
“Andrew Squervil,” Tiffani says. “What a delicious sight.”
“I feel the same way about you,” Andrew says.
“Come in,” Tiffani says. “I prepared a bubble bath for us. We can pick up right where we left off.”
Andrew enters the suite. Tiffani closes the front door. They begin kissing each other.
Suddenly, they hear someone knocking on the front door.
Tiffani pulls away from Andrew and says: “Who is it?”
“Tiffani, it’s me, Koila,” Koila says.
“Koila?!” Andrew says.
“Koila, please leave,” Tiffani says. “Andrew is here with me now. I told you already, I’m not going to change my mind about this.”
“What’s going on?” Andrew says. “Why is Koila here? How do you two even know each other?”
“Tiffani, let me in right now or I’ll tell your husband about your affair with Andrew,” Koila says.
Tiffani opens the door. Koila enters the suite. Tiffani closes the door.
“What are you doing here, Koila?” Andrew says.
Koila walks over to a nearby closet. She opens the closet’s door and says to Tiffani: “Make him wait in here.”
“Why?” Tiffani says.
“Make him wait in here or I’ll tell your husband about your affair,” Koila says.
“Andrew, go wait in the closet,” Tiffani says.
“What?!” Andrew says. “Why?”
“Just do as I say or I won’t let you live in my mansion and have access to my wealth,” Tiffani says.
Andrew goes into the closet. He says to Koila: “I don’t know what you’re doing here, Koila, but I’m not going to let you ruin this for me.”
Koila closes the closet’s door, then locks it. Andrew is now trapped in the closet.
“What is this all about, Koila?” Tiffani says. “Why are you here?”
“After I dropped you off at the apartment earlier today, I gave the whole situation more thought,” Koila says. “And I came to realize that there is a way I could convince you to not take Andrew back.”
“How?” Tiffani says.
“By offering you something better: me,” Koila says.
“What?!” Tiffani says. “I don’t understand. What are you saying?”
“When we were on the beach together and I was applying sun cream to your backside, you received pleasure, correct?” Koila says.
“Yes…” Tiffani says. “A great amount of pleasure.”
“And that pleasure that I gave you was unintended,” Koila says. “A by-product. Imagine how much pleasure I could give you if I was actually trying to do so.”
“That… would be a lot of pleasure…” Tiffani says.
“So much pleasure,” Koila says.
“Pleasure…” Tiffani says.
Koila and Tiffani begin kissing each other.
“Oh no…” Andrew says, overhearing Tiffani and Koila’s intimate encounter.
Much, much later, Tiffani says: “Can we do that again?”
“We can do that as many times as you like,” Koila says. “As long as you agree to never take Andrew back.”
“I most definitely agree,” Tiffani says. “I don’t need Andrew anymore, now that I have you.”
“Let’s leave this suite and go to my mansion,” Koila says.
Tiffani and Koila both get dressed. Tiffani packs her belongings into her suitcase.
Tiffani says to Koila: “What about Andrew? Should we let him out?”
Koila sneers cruelly. “Let’s leave him where he is,” she says. “One of the hotel’s cleaning people will find him when they come in here to clean tomorrow. They’ll let him out.”
Tiffani giggles mischievously. She picks up her suitcase, then walks over to the closet, which Andrew is still trapped in.
“Andrew, as I’m sure you’ve overheard, I’m with Koila now,” Tiffani says. “I won’t be needing your services. Our plaything arrangement is off.”
“No, don’t do this, Tiffani!” Andrew says, desperate to gain access to Tiffani’s wealth. “It’s me you belong with. Not her! Me! Me! Me!”
“Goodbye, Andrew,” Tiffani says.
“Goodbye, Andrew,” Koila says.
Koila and Tiffani giggle mischievously, then exit the hotel suite.
The next day, in the evening, after Andrew is released from the closet by one of the hotel’s cleaning people, Andrew returns to his crummy apartment. He enters the apartment’s bedroom.
Laying on Andrew’s bed is Andrew’s hideous, obese female landlord, who lets Andrew stay in the apartment for free in exchange for being her plaything. Andrew loathes the arrangement, but he has been going along with it, as he has major money problems.
The landlord is wearing a very revealing black lingerie. As always, Andrew finds her repulsive.
“I’ve been waiting for you, Andrew Squervil,” she says.
“I know,” Andrew says, feeling very defeated.
He begins walking toward her.