Horrible Multi-day Employee Retreat – Part 1

During an afternoon, in a building that is the headquarters of a corporation that manufactures and sells popular honey products, all of the corporation’s employees are sent an email from the president and owner of the corporation, a beautiful woman named Delila. The email is an announcement of the corporation’s upcoming first annual multi-day employee retreat, which is to occur on a resort island.

On one of the building’s many floors, a low-level employee named Nerwin is sitting in his cubicle, toiling away on a boring office project. Upon receiving the email, he opens and reads it. He immediately responds to the email confirming his attendance at the retreat, secretly excited at the idea that there is a very strong possibility that he might get to glimpse Delila in a bikini at some point during the retreat.

A few minutes later, a very tall woman named Milana enters Nerwin’s cubicle. Milana hates Nerwin and has been subjecting him to all kinds of misery since he unintentionally caused her great embarrassment a few weeks ago.

She grabs Nerwin by his tie and begins to tighten it, causing him great discomfort.

She says: “Listen, Nerwin: I’m going on that company retreat and I want to use the time to relax and forget all about the embarrassment you caused me. And I don’t want to be reminded of what happened while I’m there… and you’re the biggest reminder of them all! Which means you can’t be there!”

“What?!” Nerwin says.

“You heard me: I’m forbidding you from going on that retreat!” Milana says.

“You can’t do that!” Nerwin says.

“If I so much as see you while I’m on that retreat, I will subject you to a world of suffering!” Milana says. “Do you understand?”

Nerwin gulps.

“Okay, fine,” he says, feeling defeated. “I won’t go.”

“Good, I’m glad we’re in agreement,” Milana says.

She then picks up a nearby jar of honey and pours it onto Nerwin’s head.

In Nerwin’s mind, a bikini-clad Delila sadly waves goodbye and fades away.

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