Jessica’s Dream Journal

Having recently been released from his most recent incarceration, a sleazy, handsome man named Andrew Squervil returns to his crummy apartment. No more mistakes, Andrew thinks. He is determined to succeed in his goal to become rich. He is determined to con a rich woman into marriage, thereby gaining access to her wealth. He is determined to not get into any more misadventures that result in him being mercilessly beaten and/or imprisoned, as he has been wont to do.

In his apartment, Andrew hears someone knock on the apartment’s front door. With dread, Andrew goes to answer the door. He assumes that the person at the door is his hideous, obese female landlord, who lets Andrew live in the apartment for free in exchange for being her plaything. Andrew loathes the living arrangement, but he has been going along with it, as he has major money problems.

Andrew opens the door. Much to his surprise, the person standing before him is not the hideous female landlord, but instead a stunningly beautiful woman from his past named Jessica.

“Hello, Andrew,” Jessica says.

“Stay away from me,” Andrew says.

“Why would you say such a thing?” Jessica says.

“You’ve always been nothing but trouble for me,” Andrew says. “Every time I ever got involved with you, I ended up getting imprisoned or getting pummeled mercilessly by your crazy wrestler boyfriend.”

“You needn’t worry,” Jessica says. “My boyfriend Grock and I have made great strides in our relationship therapy sessions. He now trusts me completely. He no longer expects me to cheat on him with you again.”

“So why are you here?” Andrew says.

Jessica smiles mischievously. “To cheat on him with you again,” she says.

“You really think I’m foolish enough to ever get involved with you again?” Andrew says.

“Andrew, stop deluding yourself,” Jessica says. “We both know you can’t resist me.”

She wraps her arms around Andrew and kisses him.

Later, they are laying on the bed in Andrew’s bedroom, having recently completed an intimate encounter.

“That was wonderful,” Jessica says. “It’s amazing that you can give so much pleasure with such a small-”

“Are you sure your boyfriend Grock doesn’t suspect anything?” Andrew says. The memory of Grock’s meaty fists smashing into Andrew’s face over and over again is still fresh in Andrew’s mind.

“I’m positive Grock doesn’t suspect anything,” Jessica says. “Right now, he thinks I’m out shopping with some of my sexy female model friends. There’s no way that he would ever suspect… Oh wait. Oh no. I just remembered something.”

“What?” Andrew says, suddenly very fearful.

“I was writing in my dream journal this morning,” Jessica says. “And after I was done writing in it, I forgot to put it away. I left it open and on a table.”

“Where is the table?” Andrew says.

“In the dining room of the home that Grock and I live in,” Jessica says. “There’s a very good chance that Grock will find it. And I had left the journal open to the page containing today’s entry. So that’s the first entry he will see.”

“So what?” Andrew says. “What does it matter if he sees an entry in your dream journal?”

“Because in today’s dream journal entry, I wrote about a dream I had last night,” Jessica says. “The dream was about you and me. I described the dream in graphic detail.”

Andrew gulps. “You did?” he says.

“Yes,” Jessica says. “And I included an accompanying drawing of the dream.”

Andrew gulps again. “You did?” he says.

“Yes,” Jessica says. “And it was a very detailed, very accurate drawing, capturing both our likenesses. I’m very good at drawing people.”

Andrew gulps again. “You are?” he says.

“Yes,” Jessica says. “And in the journal entry, I also mentioned that I intended to visit you in this apartment today to cheat on Grock with you.”

Andrew gulps again. “You did?” he says.

“Yes,” Jessica says.

Thirty minutes earlier, in Grock and Jessica’s home, a very large, very muscular man named Grock enters the dining room. Grock sees Jessica’s dream journal. It is open and on a table. He sees today’s dream journal entry, including the drawing of Andrew and Jessica. In the drawing, Andrew and Jessica are both without clothes, and Andrew is standing behind Jessica, and Andrew happily has his hands on Jessica’s chest, and Jessica happily has her hands on Andrew’s hands, and they are both smiling.

“GRRRRRRRR!!!!” Grock says, enraged.

Back in the present, Grock smashes his head through the front door of Andrew’s apartment. He then opens what remains of the front door and enters Andrew’s apartment. He then goes into Andrew’s bedroom, where he finds Andrew and Jessica, who both finished getting dressed a few seconds earlier.

Upon seeing Grock, Andrew gulps again.

Grock proceeds to pummel Andrew mercilessly.