Forms

During an afternoon, on the 201st floor of a building that is the headquarters of a corporation that manufactures and sells popular honey products, a low-level male office employee named Nerwin gets off an elevator and goes to the cubicle of a very tall, voluptuous female co-worker named Milana. Milana works in the payroll department.

Milana is sitting at her desk. On her desk is a jar of honey. Most of the employees’ desks have jars of honey on them. The corporation supplies its employees with free honey.

“Hello,” Nerwin says. “My name is Nerwin. I work on the 135th floor. I’m here to submit my overtime payment application for this pay period.”

He hands Milana a completed form that he brought with him.

Milana looks at the form.

“I can’t process your application,” she says. “This isn’t the correct form.”

“What?!” Nerwin says. “It has to be the correct form. I know it’s the correct form! Form 237237-A, correct?”

“Yes, this a Form 237237-A,” Milana says. “But the corporation discontinued the use of Form 237237-A one hour ago. There’s a new form you’re supposed to fill out instead: Form 237237-A.1.”

Milana hands Nerwin a Form 237237-A.1.

Nerwin looks at the form.

“Can’t you make an exception?” he says. “It took me five hours to fill out Form 237237-A. And it’ll take me another five hours to fill out Form 237237-A.1. And by the time I’ve finished, the submission deadline will have passed!”

“I normally don’t make exceptions,” Milana says. “But I might make an exception for you… if you do something for me.”

“What is it you want me to do?” Nerwin says.

“You mentioned that you work on the 135th floor,” Milana says. “Do you know a co-worker named Thad?”

Nerwin cringes internally. Thad is a co-worker who also works on the floor that Nerwin works on. Thad is a sleazy, handsome man who has had office affairs with many of the attractive women who work at this honey corporation. Nerwin dislikes Thad, though Thad seems to be oblivious to that dislike.

“Yes, I know Thad,” Nerwin says.

“I think he’s super-sexy,” Milana says. She licks her lips, as if to illustrate her statement. She says: “I want him in me. Can you make that happen?”

“Yes, that can be arranged,” Nerwin says, certain that Thad wouldn’t pass up the opportunity to have an intimate encounter with a hottie like Milana. “So you’ll process my overtime payment application?”

“Yes, I’ll do that right now,” Milana says. “You promise you’ll come through with your end of the bargain?”

“I promise,” Nerwin says.

A few minutes later, Nerwin returns to the 135th floor. He stops by Thad’s cubicle. Thad is sitting at his desk, playing a video game on his computer.

“Hi Thad,” Nerwin says.

“Hi, Nerwin!” Thad says.

“I have some good news for you: on the 201st floor, there’s a female hottie who wants you in her,” Nerwin says.

“Really?” Thad says.

“Really,” Nerwin says, annoyed to be helping Thad get carnal intercourse. “Her name is Milana. She works in cubicle 852-F. So you should probably go take care of that.”

“Will do,” Thad says. “Thanks for sharing this information with me, Nerwin. You’re a good friend.”

Thad gets up and exits his cubicle, heading to the elevator.

Later, while Nerwin is sitting in his cubicle, Thad stops by Nerwin’s cubicle.

“You could have warned me,” Thad says.

“Warned you about what?” Nerwin says.

“Milana,” Thad says. “You didn’t tell me how tall she is.”

“That’s a problem?” Nerwin says.

“Of course it’s a problem!” Thad says. “I’m not into women who are so much taller than me.”

“What are you talking about?” Nerwin says. “You’ve had office affairs with plenty of women who are taller than you.”

“None as tall as Milana,” Thad says.

“So you didn’t have carnal intercourse with her?” Nerwin says.

“No, of course not,” Thad says. “As soon as I saw how tall she is, I turned around and got away from her as quickly as possible. Well anyway, I have to go meet with Delila now. See you later.”

Thad exits Nerwin’s cubicle.

A few minutes later, while Nerwin is sitting in his cubicle, Milana stops by Nerwin’s cubicle. She is holding a jar of honey. She looks furious.

“Milana, I’m sorry,” Nerwin says. “I-”

“I have never been so humiliated before in my life,” Milana says. “You are going to pay for this, Nerwin. From this day forward, I am going to make your life a living hell.”

Milana begins pouring the jar of honey onto Nerwin’s head.

Nerwin hates his life.

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