Hideous Female Landlord

Some time ago, a handsome, sleazy man with major money problems named Andrew Squervil was in need of an inexpensive place to stay at. It was around this time that Andrew met a hideous, obese woman named Barbara while he was in a tavern during an evening. Barbara offered to let Andrew stay in her apartment for the night in exchange for an intimate encounter. Though he found Barbara repulsive, Andrew agreed to the proposed arrangement, consoling himself with the thought that this would be a very short-term arrangement, just for one night.

That night, in Barbara’s apartment, Andrew carried out his part of the arrangement, much to his dismay and disgust. It was an odious task.

The following morning, as Andrew was getting ready to leave the apartment and Barbara, expecting to never see Barbara again, Barbara revealed to him that she was the landlord of the apartment complex that her apartment was a part of.

In response to this information, Andrew said: “So what?”

“So I can give you what you need,” Barbara said.

“What is it you think I need?” Andrew said.

“A home,” Barbara said. “I can give you that. There’s a vacant apartment in this apartment complex. That apartment can be yours. And you wouldn’t even have to pay any rent. I’ll let you live in the apartment for free.”

“Really?” Andrew said. “You’ll let me live there for free?”

Barbara sneered. “Well, not exactly,” she said. “There will be a price. I’ll let you live in the apartment for free… in exchange for being my plaything.”

Andrew gulped. Thinking of his major money problems, he agreed to Barbara’s proposed arrangement. This will only be temporary, he thought. He intended to quickly find a beautiful woman to con into falling in love with him, allowing him access to her money and home, much like he had done with other beautiful women in the past. This new arrangement with Barbara will be very temporary, he thought.

Many, many days and weeks and months later, Andrew is living in his crummy apartment for free in exchange for being his hideous female landlord Barbara’s plaything. He moved out a few times for better opportunities, but always ended up returning to the apartment after squandering those opportunities. Now, Andrew is starting to worry that he will never truly, permanently escape from Barbara.

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