Mud

During an evening, a sleazy, handsome man named Andrew Squervil enters a nightclub that he knows is frequently populated by rich, single women. Andrew, who is not rich, has a goal to become rich. He intends to accomplish this goal by conning a rich woman into marriage, thereby gaining access to her wealth.

Seducing women has never been much of a challenge for Andrew. It is one of the few things he is actually good at. However, despite this ability, he has repeatedly failed in his attempts to marry a rich woman for her money. Somehow, things went wrong for Andrew every time.

This time will be different, Andrew thinks.

In the nightclub, he sees a beautiful, dark-haired woman standing alone on the other side of the room. She notices Andrew staring at her. She smiles at Andrew and beckons him to come to her. Hoping she is rich, Andrew walks over to her and begins conversing with her.

As they are conversing, Andrew learns that the woman’s name is Endara, and that she is rich and single. Endara is quite taken with Andrew. After making out with Andrew for a while, Endara invites him to her mansion.

Later in the evening, as Endara and Andrew are walking toward the entrance to Endara’s mansion, Andrew notices that there is a large pool on the sidewalk directly in front of Endara’s mansion.

“Is that pool yours?” Andrew says.

“Yes,” Endara says.

“That seems like an odd spot for a pool,” Andrew says. “Why would you have it there?”

Endara smiles mischievously. “You’ll see,” she says.

Later in the evening, on a bed in the master bedroom of Endara’s mansion, Andrew and Endara have an intimate encounter.

Afterwards, Endara says: “That was wonderful. You really know how to do so much with so little.”

“What do you mean?” Andrew says, troubled by Endara’s complement.

Ignoring Andrew’s question, Endara says: “I have a surprise for you, Andrew Squervil.”

“What is it?” Andrew says.

“Get dressed and stand over there,” Endara says, pointing at a spot in the bedroom.

Andrew gets out of the bed and gets dressed and stands in the spot that Endara pointed to. “So what’s the surprise?” Andrew says.

From her purse, Endara takes out a small, purple remote control device.

“What’s that for?” Andrew says.

“There’s a trapdoor on the floor in this room,” Endara says. “You’re standing on the trapdoor right now. This remote control device opens the trapdoor. Whoever falls through it ends up sliding down a long tunnel that will spit them out of my mansion. I had all this set up so that I can easily dispose of my sleazy male lovers when I’m done with them. It’s easier than having to listen to them plead with me or argue with me.”

Andrew grins. “This is a joke, right?” he says.

Endara grins. “They always ask that question right before I dispose of them,” she says.

She presses a button on the remote control device. The floor underneath Andrew opens up and he falls through it, into a tunnel. Against his will, he slides down the tunnel.

Eventually, Andrew is spit out of the other end of the tunnel, out of Endara’s mansion, and, as designed, he lands in the pool on the sidewalk outside of Endara’s mansion. It is at this time that Andrew realizes that the pool is full of mud, not water.

Andrew gets out of the pool. He begins walking back to his crummy apartment, still covered in mud, defeated once again.

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