A Distasteful Deal

A Distasteful Deal.jpg

During an afternoon, a sleazy man named Andrew Squervil enters a gym that he knows a woman named Thona is a member of. Andrew only knows this because he once heard Thona mentioning it to a woman named Strinella. Andrew came to the gym specifically to speak with Thona.

Not surprisingly, Thona is in the gym. She is very, very muscular, and needs to be lifting weights in this gym quite regularly to maintain her bodybuilder physique.

At the moment, Thona is flexing in front of a full-length mirror, admiring her physique. She has just finished working out, so her body is covered in sweat and glistening.

Andrew thinks Thona is disgusting. Her bodybuilder physique makes her look far more masculine than feminine to Andrew. She has always looked too much like a man to Andrew. In fact, when he first met her, he thought she was a man… a very, very muscular man who bore only a vague resemblance to a woman. Andrew does not like unattractive women.

As Andrew is walking toward Thona, he can’t help but stare at her sweaty, muscular body. He thinks about how horrible it would be to have an intimate encounter with her. The very thought makes him shudder internally.

Thona sees Andrew’s reflection in the mirror, so she turns around to face him.

“Andrew Squervil,” Thona says, in a smug, derogatory tone. “What brings you here? Did you get lost on your way to a sleazy loser convention?”

Andrew and Thona have always hated each other. Normally, Andrew would not have any interest in speaking with her. But he is desperate.

“I came here to speak with you,” Andrew says. “I want to make an arrangement with you. I heard that Strinella is having a party in her mansion tomorrow, and I want to attend it.”

Strinella is a rich woman who Thona works for as a personal assistant. Andrew is one of Strinella’s former lovers. Strinella sometimes holds exclusive parties at her mansion. At these parties, Thona will be there, admitting newly arrived invitees, and preventing uninvited people from getting into the mansion.

Thona sneers in response to Andrew’s statement. “You’ll never get Strinella back, Andrew,” Thona says. “She’s back together with her husband now and wants nothing more to do with you.”

“I’m not trying to get Strinella back,” Andrew says.

“So why would you want to come to her party?” Thona says.

“Because there are always a lot of very rich single women at Strinella’s parties,” Andrew says. “And I want to become rich.”

“By tricking one of those rich women into falling in love with you and marrying you, giving you access to her wealth,” Thona says. “And you want me to grant you access to the party so you can get the opportunity to meet these women. Why would you ever think that I would help you with this sleazy goal of yours?”

Andrew takes some money out of his pocket. “I’ll give you money,” Andrew says. “I’ll give you this money now, and I’ll give you the same amount after the party.”

“I don’t want your money,” Thona says. “But there is something else I want from you. Something that only you, Andrew Squervil, can give me.”

Andrew gulps. “What would that be?” he says.

“Your sexy, well-toned body,” Thona says.

Andrew gulps again, his fear confirmed.

Later, in a nearby hotel room, Andrew and Thona complete their intimate encounter. It was one of the worst experiences of Andrew’s life.

“That was one of the best experiences of my life,” Thona says.

“So you’ll let me attend Strinella’s party tomorrow?” Andrew says.

Thona laughs cruelly. “No, Andrew,” she says. “I’m reneging on our deal, now that I’ve gotten what I wanted from you. Oh, Andrew, the look on your face is priceless.”

Thona resumes laughing cruelly at Andrew. Her cruel laughter continues as Andrew gets dressed and leaves the hotel room, defeated once again.