During an evening, a man named Orvel is laying on a bed in the apartment of a beautiful woman named Selena Sentera. Selena is laying with Orvel on the bed. They have been dating for several weeks now.
“I love you, Selena,” Orvel says,
“That’s nice,” Selena says.
“Do you love me?” Orvel says.
“No,” Selena says. “I don’t think I could ever love anyone. But I do enjoy spending time with you.”
“I enjoy spending time with you too,” Orvel says. “I know you don’t love me, but… could we get married?”
“Yes, let’s do it,” Selena says. “It’ll make my friends so jealous. They’re all desperate to get married.”
“So you’ll marry me?” Orvel says.
“Yes,” Selena says, yawning, drifting off to sleep, her eyes closed. “Let’s do it tomorrow, in the morning.”
“You’ve just made me the happiest man in the universe, Selena,” Orvel says.
Selena is asleep now.
Orvel thinks: she’ll love me someday.
The next day, in the morning, Orvel and Selena enter a building that contains many municipal offices, including the office of a marriage bureau. The marriage bureau office is on the building’s 347th floor. Orvel and Selena, who are currently on the building’s lobby level, go to the building’s elevator station, intending to ride the building’s only elevator to the 347th floor.
At the moment, the elevator is on the lobby level, and many people are getting onto the elevator.
“This is insane,” Selena says. “Why would this building have only one elevator?”
Now, the elevator is very crowded, and Orvel and Selena are still outside of it, and the elevator doors are about to close.
“It’s okay,” Orvel says. “We’ll wait for the elevator to come back down again.”
“That’ll take an eternity,” Selena says.
“You’re worth the wait,” Orvel says.
“That’s so sweet of you to say, Orvel,” Selena says.
Orvel and Selena kiss each other.
As the elevator doors are about to close, a handsome man in the elevator stops the doors from closing. He is looking at Selena, and has been looking at her for a few minutes now. Speaking specifically to Selena, the handsome man says: “There’s still room on this elevator for one more person. Why don’t you come in? There’s no need for the both of you to wait.”
Before Orvel can say anything, Selena says to the handsome man: “I suppose you’re right.” She gets onto the elevator, then says to Orvel: “I’ll see you up there, Orvel.”
As the elevator doors are closing, Orvel sees the handsome man turn to Selena and say: “My name is Jared.” And then, with the doors almost completely closed, Orvel sees Selena smile at Jared.
The elevator doors are now closed and Orvel is sweating profusely. “Oh no…” he says. “Oh no… Not now! Not again! I was so close this time! Not again!”
Other people on the lobby level are looking at Orvel as if he is crazy.
Orvel grabs one of them and says: “The stairwell! Tell me where the stairwell is! I have to stop them! There still might be time to stop them! WHERE IS THE STAIRWELL?!”
The person who Orvel has grabbed indicates to the door to the building’s stairwell. Orvel lets go of the very frightened person and goes into the stairwell and begins running up the stairs, toward the 347th floor.
MUST GET THERE IN TIME, Orvel is thinking.
Some time ago, Orvel met a beautiful woman named Sara Sentera. Upon meeting Sara, Orvel became very infatuated with her. To Orvel, Sara was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.
Eventually, Orvel became romantically involved with Sara. Orvel was very happy during this time. Sara’s beauty made it easy for Orvel to overlook how self-engrossed Sara was. He was content with the idea that Sara was his soul mate, and that they would get married and be together forever.
Then one day, Sara ended their relationship. Some time later, she got married to another man. She now wants nothing to do with Orvel.
Orvel was devastated by Sara’s ending of their relationship. He wanted her back so badly.
Some time after losing Sara, Orvel learned some information about Sara that she’d never shared with him: that she is a nonuplet; that she has eight identical sisters; and that their names are Samantha and Sabrina and Sandra and Selena and Simona and Sonya and Severia and Sustranna. Eight women who look exactly like Sara Sentera.
Upon learning of the existence of these eight women, Orvel thought: eight more chances to get her to love me back.
Orvel also learned that Sara and her eight identical sisters all hated each other and were all deeply estranged from each other.
Since beginning his quest for a Sentera sister to replace Sara, Orvel has had many, many dreams about the Sentera sisters. In those dreams, they laugh cruelly at him and tell him that he will never, ever win the love of any of them.
In some ways, these horrible dreams are reflective of Orvel’s horrible reality. Thus far, his Sentera sister quest has given him much disappointment.
After beginning his quest, Orvel met and subsequently became romantically involved with Samantha Sentera. Then Samantha ended their relationship and got married to another man.
Then Orvel met and subsequently became romantically involved with Sabrina Sentera. But Sabrina’s female friends didn’t like Orvel. They insisted that Sabrina end her relationship with Orvel. Sabrina, who wanted to please the women in her social clique, dumped Orvel and told him that she did not want to ever see him again.
Then Orvel met and subsequently became romantically involved with Sandra Sentera. Then Sandra abandoned Orvel and got married to another man.
Around this time, Orvel thought: I’m running out of Sentera sisters. It was starting to seem like the existence of the Sentera sisters was some kind of cruel cosmic joke being played on him. It was starting to seem as if the Sentera sisters had each been genetically designed to be utterly incapable of falling in love with Orvel.
Some time after losing Sandra Sentera to another man, Orvel met and subsequently became romantically involved with his current fiancee, Selena Sentera. Like his first encounters with Samantha and Sabrina and Sandra, Orvel’s first encounter with Selena was a staged ‘chance encounter’, orchestrated by Orvel to trick the Sentera sister into thinking her meeting Orvel was completely serendipitous, as if fate was bringing them together, as if they were soul mates destined to meet each other. And of course, Selena had no knowledge of Orvel’s previous romantic involvements with some of her estranged sisters. To Selena, Orvel was just some guy who accidentally bumped into her in a coffee shop.
Another fact that Orvel learned about the Sentera sisters: once a Sentera sister gets married, she will never, ever get divorced, ever. Which means two things for Orvel: (1) each Sentera sister that gets married to another man is out of Orvel’s reach forever; and (2) if Orvel can get a Sentera sister to marry him, she will be his forever.
Orvel is still running up the stairs, trying to get to the 347th floor, trying to get back to Selena Sentera before it is too late. The journey up the many, many flights of stairs is long and torturous. Orvel’s infatuation with the Sentera sisters has caused him all kinds of torture.
Orvel is sweating profusely and is thinking: MUST MARRY SELENA.
And now Orvel is thinking: MUST STOP JARED. Other men are a constant threat to Orvel’s goal to marry a Sentera sister. Sentera sisters seem to fall in love with men easily, as long as the men are physically attractive and not Orvel.
Finally, Orvel arrives at the 347th floor. He exits the stairwell just in time to see the floor’s elevator doors opening, revealing the elevator, which now contains only Selena and Jared. Selena and Jared are kissing each other passionately.
“No!” Orvel says. “No!”
Selena and Jared stop kissing and happily get off the elevator together.
To Orvel, Selena says: “Orvel, this is Jared. I met him on the elevator, and we instantly fell in love with each other. He’s my soul mate. So I’m going to get married to him today instead of you. I hope you understand.”
“Selena, you’re making a big mistake!” Orvel says. “I love you! I’m you’re soul mate! Not him! Me! It’s me you’re supposed to be in love with! Not him! Me! Me! Me!”
“She doesn’t want anything to do with you anymore,” Jared says. “You should give up and go away.”
“Jared is right, Orvel,” Selena says. “You should leave now.”
Orvel is exhausted and furious. He begins approaching Jared, intent on hitting him. As Orvel is approaching Jared, Orvel says: “I WON’T LET YOU TAKE HER AWAY FROM ME! I WON’T LOSE HER-”
Before Orvel can say the word “again”, Jared hits Orvel, causing him to fall to the ground.
Several of the building’s security guards come over to Orvel and Selena and Jared.
“Are you okay?” one of the security guards says to Selena and Jared.
“Can you remove him from the building?” Selena says to the security guards, referring to Orvel. “He tried to attack my fiancé. He wants to ruin my wedding.”
The security guards grab Orvel and forcibly take him down to the building’s lobby level, then out of the building. The security guards then go back into the building.
Standing on the street, Orvel looks up at the upper part of the building. He knows that Selena is somewhere up there, getting married to Jared, and that it is too late to stop it from happening; that Orvel could never get back up to the 347th floor in time to disrupt the wedding.
“Selena…” Orvel says. “Selena, I love you! Selena!”
Orvel hears his cellular phone ringing. He takes the phone out of his pants pocket and sees that the phone call is coming from Sabrina Sentera, the Sentera sister who dumped Orvel because her female friends didn’t like him.
Without hesitation, Orvel answers the phone. “Sabrina?” he says.
“Yes, Orvel, it’s me,” Sabrina says. “I need to speak with you. Orvel, I was wrong to dump you. It was a mistake. I realize that now. I shouldn’t have listened to my friends. They were a bad influence on me. But I’m done with them now. I’ve ended my friendships with them, and I want to give our relationship another chance. Will you take me back, Orvel?”
“Yes, of course I’ll take you back, Sabrina,” Orvel says. “I love you!”
“That’s nice,” Sabrina says. “Can you meet me at my apartment?”
“Yes, I can do that,” Orvel says. “But I’m very, very far away from where you live. It will take a few days for me to get to you. Will you wait for me?”
“Of course I’ll wait for you, Orvel,” Sabrina says.
“Great,” Orvel says. “You’ve made me the happiest man in the universe, Sabrina.”
“I’ll see you soon, Orvel,” Sabrina says. “Goodbye.”
“Goodbye, Sabrina,” Orvel says.
Sabrina ends the phone call.
Orvel starts running down the street, beginning his journey back to Sabrina.
Elsewhere, Sabrina Sentera leaves her apartment and goes to a nearby coffee shop. While in the coffee shop, she serendipitously meets a handsome man named Luchenzo and instantly falls in love with him and forgets all about Orvel. Sabrina and Luchenzo leave the coffee shop together.