A few days after a man named Andrew Squervil finishes recovering from the wounds obtained during his most recent sleazy misadventure, Andrew receives a letter in the mail. The letter is from a charitable foundation called the Dibizbee Foundation. The letter says:
“Dear Mister Squervil,
The Dibizbee Foundation has received your application for a donation from our foundation to your charitable organization, the Andrew Squervil Organization. I am delighted to inform you that, after careful consideration, the Dibizbee Foundation is strongly considering bestowing the Andrew Squervil Organization with a financial donation. Per our foundation’s custom, we would like to meet with you in person before we make a decision regarding a donation. With that in mind, I would like to invite you to spend a week with us at our foundation’s headquarters, a mansion, so we can have an opportunity to learn more about you and your wonderful organization. Please contact me at the phone number below so we can make the arrangements for your visit. I look forward to meeting you.
Andrew reads the letter again, confused and annoyed. It isn’t an acceptance letter, but it isn’t a denial letter either.
Some time ago, Andrew began a quest to become rich. He planned to accomplish this goal by marrying a rich, beautiful woman for her money. Initially, Andrew thought this would be easy. Seducing beautiful women has never been much of a challenge for Andrew. It is one of the few things he is actually good at. Which is ironic, as all of Andrew’s attempts to con a rich woman into marriage have ended in failure thus far.
As those failures began piling up, Andrew decided to utilize more than that one strategy to become rich. One other strategy he has added to his repertoire is charity scams. He is now also attempting to become rich by defrauding a charitable foundation out of a very large amount of money, an amount so large that it would make Andrew rich. And that was the reason for the existence of Andrew’s non-existent charitable organization, the Andrew Squervil Organization. Andrew submitted donation requests to many, many charitable foundations in the hope that maybe just one of those foundations might be foolish enough to fall for his scam. For a very long time, Andrew did not receive a single response from any of the foundations. But now, here is a letter from the Dibizbee Foundation in his hands, giving him a small bit of hope.
Andrew decides that if he is going to have any chance of defrauding this foundation, he would have to gain a better understanding of who he is dealing with. So he goes on to his computer and accesses the Dibizbee Foundation’s website.
While browsing the website, he comes across a page containing the history of the Dibizbee Foundation, along with biographies and photographs of the foundation’s board of directors. The Dibizbee Foundation was founded by a very wealthy man named Bartholomew Dibizbee. He created the foundation as a gift for his rich wife, a former model named Rena Dibizbee. Though Bartholomew created the foundation, he is not a member of its board of directors, which consists of his sexy blond wife, along with three other attractive women: Elaine, Sharon, and Francine. From the information provided in the biographies, it doesn’t appear that Elaine, Sharon, or Francine are related to Bartholomew and Rena Dibizbee.
Andrew suspects that, during his visit to the Dibizbee Foundation’s headquarters, he may need to flirt with or perhaps even seduce one or more of these women to improve his chances of getting the donation. While looking at the website’s photographs of these four attractive women, he thinks: that won’t be a burden at all.
He calls Rena Dibizbee and arranges to stay at the Dibizbee Foundation’s headquarters, a mansion, for an entire week.
A few days later, Andrew arrives at the mansion, which is very large and very elegant. He is let into the mansion by an attractive maid. The maid leads Andrew into the mansion’s parlor.
Rena Dibizbee is in the parlor. She is wearing leopard-colored, close-fitting pants, and a shirt that is equally close-fitting and equally leopard-colored, accentuating her well-toned, shapely body. She is holding a glass containing what appears to be an alcoholic beverage.
“You must be Andrew,” Rena says. “I’m Rena Dibizbee.” She extends her hand outward so that Andrew can kiss the back of it.
“Hello, Missus Dibizbee,” Andrew says. He kisses the back of her hand. “It’s an honor to meet you,” he says.
“Likewise,” Rena says. “Would you like a drink?”
“Yes, thanks,” Andrew says.
As Rena is preparing a beverage for Andrew, she says to the maid: “Molly, will you please let the others know that Andrew has arrived?”
“Certainly, Missus Dibizbee,” the maid, Molly, says.
Andrew sneaks a look at Molly’s shapely body as she exits the parlor.
Rena hands Andrew a glass containing what appears to be an alcoholic beverage.
“Thanks,” he says. He takes a sip of the beverage, then immediately coughs violently in response to how strong it is. He has had alcoholic beverages many times before, but never anything this powerful. Already, he is feeling mildly inebriated, which he doesn’t want to be, as he needs to stay focused to keep his lies straight.
Rena is clearly amused by Andrew’s reaction to the alcoholic beverage. “I find men who can’t hold their liquor so adorable,” she says.
“So you live here?” Andrew says, still trying to regain his composure.
“No,” Rena says. “Mister Dibizbee and I live in a different mansion, in a different neighborhood. He bought this mansion so that it could serve as the foundation’s headquarters – a place where the foundation’s board of directors can focus on running the foundation. Though the other three board members do in fact live in this mansion. But I only visit this mansion when we’re doing these week-long interviews with donation requestors like yourself. There’s a guest bedroom here that I stay in… right next to the guest bedroom you’ll be staying in.” She smiles at Andrew, with a hint of suggestiveness in her smile.
Andrew smiles back at her, trying to reciprocate that hint of suggestiveness with a hint of suggestiveness of his own.
“Is Mister Dibizbee here?” he says.
“No, sadly, Mister Dibizbee will not be joining us this week,” Rena says. “I’m the only Dibizbee here this week.”
“Oh,” Andrew says. “I assumed that maybe the other board members were also part of the Dibizbee family.”
“No, just me,” Rena says. “Initially, I was the only person running the foundation… and it didn’t even have this mansion for its headquarters. I just worked from home. But later, upon Mister Dibizbee’s insistence, the foundation hired Francine, Elaine, and Sharon. They handle all the day-to-day operations of the foundation now. And Mister Dibizbee bought this mansion for the three women to work out of… though they also choose to live here. And why wouldn’t they? It’s much nicer than the places they were living in when they were just struggling lingerie models.”
Andrew detects more than a little bit of contempt in Rena’s voice.
“Well, it’s a wonderful foundation you have,” Andrew says. “And I’m thrilled that you’ve chosen to give a donation to my struggling charitable organization.”
“Well, you haven’t gotten the donation quite yet,” Rena says. “That’s why you’re here, after all. You’re going to have to do some convincing.”
She take a sip of her beverage and winks at Andrew somewhat suggestively.
“I look forward to convincing you,” Andrew says.
They grin at each other.
The maid, Molly, and the three other foundation board members enter the parlor. Andrew takes in the view of the three additional board members: Francine, Elaine, and Sharon. They are all as attractive as they appeared in the photographs on the foundation’s website.
Rena makes the introductions between Andrew and the other board members, and Andrew immediately detects the unspoken mutual hatred that exists between Rena and the three other women.
“Let’s have lunch now, shall we?” Rena says. “Andrew can tell us all about his wonderful organization while we dine.”
Later, while Andrew and Rena and Francine and Elaine and Sharon are having an exquisite buffet lunch together at a table in the mansion’s dining room, Andrew detects an equally intense unspoken mutual hatred that exists between Francine and Elaine and Sharon. Never before in his life has Andrew heard so many passive-aggressive comments exchanged.
During the lunch, while Andrew is in the middle of telling the women various lies about his non-existent charitable organization, he feels someone’s foot discreetly rubbing against him underneath the table. At first, he assumes it’s Rena’s foot, but then he realizes it’s Francine’s.
After the lunch, Andrew spends the rest of the day with the four board members, engaging in various leisure activities in and around the mansion: horseback riding; tennis; and swimming. During the swimming session in the mansion’s outdoor in-ground pool, Sharon seems particularly mesmerized by the sight of Andrew’s shirtless, well-toned chest.
In the evening, while Andrew and the four board members are having an exquisite buffet dinner together at a table in the mansion’s other dining room, he feels someone’s foot discreetly rubbing against him underneath the table. This time, it’s Elaine’s.
Later, at night, Andrew is laying on his bed in the guest bedroom that was provided to him. He very much likes his bedroom, and the mansion in general. He intends to buy himself a mansion as nice as this one after he has become rich by defrauding the foundation.
The door to Andrew’s bedroom opens. The maid, Molly, enters the bedroom, then closes the door.
Before Andrew can say anything in response to her sudden entrance, Molly says: “I know you’re a fraud. I did some research on you. There is no Andrew Squervil Organization. You’re trying to defraud the Dibizbee Foundation. And I’m going to expose you unless you give me what I want.”
“What are you talking about?” Andrew says, speaking in a low whisper, remembering that Rena’s bedroom is next to this bedroom. “This is all some kind of misunderstanding.”
“There’s no need to whisper,” Molly says. “Rena won’t hear anything. The walls and doors in this mansion are all ridiculously thick. And don’t bother playing innocent with me, Andrew Squervil. I’m not as gullible as the other women in this mansion. You’re a fraud, your charitable organization doesn’t exist, and I have all the documented proof I need to expose you any time I want.”
“What do you want?” Andrew says.
“I want half of the money you steal from the foundation,” Molly says. “Half of whatever the foundation ends up giving you.”
After a few seconds, Andrew says: “Consider it done.” He intends to double-cross her.
“And don’t even think of trying to double-cross me,” Molly says.
She exits the bedroom, then closes its door.
Andrew is very tired from the long day he had. All of the activities and all of the lying has worn him down. He is looking forward to several hours of deep sleep.
As he is dozing off, he expects that he will have his usual recurring nightmare in which he is having an intimate encounter with a hideous woman from his past named Pustilla. But that doesn’t bother him right now. He is willing to endure that nightmare just to get some much-needed rest.
The door to Andrew’s bedroom opens. Molly enters the bedroom.
“Don’t you know how to knock?” Andrew says, annoyed.
“Missus Dibizbee wants to see you,” Molly says.
“Where is she?” Andrew says.
“In her bedroom, of course,” Molly says. “You should be honored. Missus Dibizbee is very selective of the men she summons to her bedroom. She must see a lot of potential in you. Don’t disappoint her.”
A few minutes later, Molly opens the door to Rena’s bedroom, and Andrew enters the bedroom.
The bedroom is very dark, illuminated only by a few lit candles near Rena’s bed. Rena is on the bed, wearing a leopard-colored negligee.
This is turning out to be good week for me, Andrew thinks.
Molly shuts the door behind Andrew, leaving him with Rena.
The candles are illuminating Rena’s well-toned, shapely body.
“The three other foundation board members you met today – Francine, Elaine, and Sharon – they’re Mister Dibizbee’s mistresses,” Rena says. “Mister Dibizbee cheats on me with each of them. He thinks I don’t know, but I know. I’ve always known. He’s not as good a liar as he thinks he is. In fact, he’s a terrible liar. At first, Francine was his only mistress. But after a while, she was no longer enough for him. That’s when Sharon came into the picture. And then later, Elaine. He arranged for them to be in this mansion as ‘foundation board members’, but that was really just a way to have all his mistresses in one place for his convenience. The three women supposedly are here to handle the foundation’s day-to-day operations, but they mostly just lounge around here all day, enjoying the many luxuries that Mister Dibizbee affords for them. This interview process we started with you today is the most work they’ve done in months… unless you count their intimate encounters with Mister Dibizbee as work. The funny thing is, each one of his mistresses thinks that she’s special to Mister Dibizbee – that one day, he’ll divorce me and marry her. That’s why the three of them hate each other, and hate me: they’re each competing for him, so they view each other, and me, as threats to their goal.”
“Mister Dibizbee is a lucky man,” Andrew says.
“Yes, I suppose any heterosexual man who has three beautiful mistresses would be considered lucky,” Rena says.
“Well, yes, but what I meant was, he’s lucky to have you as his wife,” Andrew says. “Most men would do anything to be married to a total hottie like you.”
Rena closes her eyes and tilts her head back, as if taking in the compliment. Then she opens her eyes and says: “Do you know that that philandering husband of mine hasn’t touched me in months? He claims he’s going through a ‘phase’, but I know he’s really just saving all his energy for those three floozies. I’ve had to resort to going to other men to satisfy my carnal desires. I’ve tried many different types of men: bodybuilders… athletes… underwear models… and foundation donation requestors. Join me on this bed, Andrew Squervil, and let me take you to paradise.”
Andrew joins Rena on the bed. She pounces on him like a leopard.
This isn’t Andrew’s first time being with another man’s wife.
Some time later, Andrew and Rena are laying next to each other on the bed.
“That was… wonderful,” Rena says, still catching her breath. “Wow. It’s amazing… that you could do so much… with so little.”
“What?” Andrew says.
Rena, not registering Andrew’s reaction to her comment, says: “Andrew, you have an amazing talent. And I want to keep that talent to myself, for my continued personal enjoyment. I’m planning to start a ‘mistress mansion’ of my own, similar to what Mister Dibizbee has with his three trollops here. It would be a mansion containing all of my male mistresses… including you. My own personal stud farm. And you would be the chief stuff living there… because of the superior level of satisfaction you give me. I would make sure you got the best treatment out of all my man muffins.”
The idea of having to share a mansion with other men doesn’t appeal to Andrew… even if it would mean getting to continue indulging in Rena.
“It sounds nice,” Andrew says. “But couldn’t I be the only stud in your ‘stud farm’ mansion? Why would I have to share the mansion with other men? Aren’t I enough for you?”
Rena caresses Andrew’s face. “Oh Andrew, you’re great,” she says in a reassuring tone. “But a woman needs variety in her life. I mean, imagine if the only food I could ever eat was extra-small carrots. I love eating extra-small carrots. They’re my favorite snack actually. But sometimes, I’m not in the mood for extra-small carrots. Sometimes, I want to eat something different… like a large zucchini… or even just a regular-sized carrot. You understand, don’t you?”
After a few seconds of silence, Andrew says: “You’re likening me to extra-small carrots?”
Rena, ignoring Andrew’s inquiry, says: “Well, this ‘stud farm’ idea is all just hypothetical right now anyway, so I guess it’s not worth discussing yet. But I want you to know that there will be a place for you there if it ever comes into existence. And I also want you to know that I am now fully in support of the Dibizbee Foundation giving a donation to your charitable organization. Hopefully, the others won’t vote against you when the time comes to decide.”
“But you’re a Dibizbee,” Andrew says. “Doesn’t that give you some kind of higher decision-making authority over them?”
“No,” Rena says. “Their votes carry the same power as mine. And the decision has to be unanimous. If even one of them votes against you, you won’t get the donation.” She gently pats his face in a playful manner, then kisses him. “Well, I need to get some rest now, Andrew,” Rena says. “Goodnight.”
“Goodnight,” Andrew says.
As he is getting out of her bed, Rena says: “Oh, and Andrew?”
“Yes?” Andrew says.
“We should keep our affair a secret,” Rena says. “Francine and Elaine and Sharon all desire you, so they would be very angry with you if they found out that you’ve chosen me over all of them. It might affect whether they vote for or against you.”
“Okay,” Andrew says.
“Goodnight,” Rena says.
“Goodnight,” Andrew says.
He exits her bedroom and returns to his own bedroom.
He lays on his bed, even more exhausted than he was before his intimate encounter with Rena. He closes his eyes.
As he is about to drift off into a very deep, much-needed sleep, he feels something flicking his forehead repeatedly. He opens his eyes and sees that the maid, Molly, is standing near the bed and is flicking his forehead repeatedly.
She stops flicking his forehead a few seconds after seeing that he has opened his eyes.
“You’ve been summoned again,” Molly says.
“Rena wants me again?” Andrew says.
“No, you idiot,” Molly says. “It’s not Missus Dibizbee this time. It’s Francine.”
“Francine?” Andrew says. He isn’t surprised, remembering Francine’s foot from earlier today.
“Yes,” Molly says. “She has a burning desire for you. I’ll show you to her bedroom. Do hurry up. She does not like to be kept waiting.”
“But… what about me and Rena?” Andrew says.
“You won’t tell Francine or anyone else about you and Rena,” Molly says. “Just like you won’t tell Rena or anyone else about you and Francine. And if you end up having affairs with Elaine and Sharon this week, you’ll keep those affairs secrets as well. If the foundation board members find out you’re cheating on them with each other, they’ll hate you, and our chances of getting the foundation’s money will be ruined. Mister Dibizbee’s wife and mistresses will each want to keep their affair with you a secret as well, so you should have no problem getting each woman to go along with the secrecy. Now let’s go. Francine is waiting for you.”
Andrew, feeling very worn out, gets out of his bed.
“Oh, and I should probably tell you, it’s highly important that you meet all of Francine’s expectations,” Molly says. “Francine can be very cruel and spiteful to men who don’t meet her expectations.”
“What are her expectations?” Andrew says, worried that he might not get Francine’s vote if he displeases Francine tonight.
“She expects you to be a generous lover,” Molly says. “As generous as Mister Dibizbee. And Mister Dibizbee is a very, very generous lover.” Molly closes her eyes and smiles as if she is recalling a specific personal experience. She then opens her eyes and says: “Francine will expect the same amount of generosity from you. Don’t disappoint her.”
Molly leads Andrew to Francine’s bedroom, which is very far away from Rena’s bedroom.
Later, while Andrew and Francine are alone together in Francine’s bedroom, Andrew completes his intimate encounter with Francine, gaining her vote.
Afterwards, Andrew returns to his bedroom, even more exhausted than he was before his intimate encounter with Francine. His jaw is very sore, and he is annoyed that all of his generosity toward Francine was not reciprocated.
Molly is in his bedroom. “Oh good, you’re back,” she says. “I’ve been waiting for you to return. You’ve been summoned again, this time by Sharon. Be careful with her. She is a very generous lover, but unfortunately has very sharp teeth.”
Molly leads Andrew to Sharon’s bedroom, which is very far away from both Rena’s bedroom and Francine’s bedroom.
Later, while Andrew and Sharon are alone together in Sharon’s bedroom, Andrew completes his intimate encounter with Sharon, gaining her vote.
Afterwards, Andrew returns to his bedroom, even more exhausted than he was before his intimate encounter with Sharon. and he is still feeling some pain where Sharon accidentally bit him. Prior to that incident, Andrew had never in his life thought that something so wonderful could turn so horrible in an instant.
Much to his dismay, Molly is in his bedroom.
“Oh no…” Andrew says.
“Oh yes,” Molly says. “You’ve been summoned again, this time by Elaine.”
Molly leads Andrew to Elaine’s bedroom, which is very far away from Rena’s bedroom and Francine’s bedroom and Sharon’s bedroom.
Later, while Andrew and Elaine are alone together in Elaine’s bedroom, Andrew completes his intimate encounter with Elaine, gaining her vote.
Afterwards, Andrew returns to his bedroom, still in shock over his experience with Elaine. Prior to their intimate encounter, he had found her to be the sweetest and most conservative woman in the mansion. But now, Andrew’s perception of her has changed irrevocably. He now knows that Elaine is a deeply, deeply twisted individual. She subjected him to so many things that he never would have agreed to be subjected to if he wasn’t trying to get her vote. Their intimate encounter was as torturous for him as it was enjoyable for her. He will never be able to look at various household objects the same way ever again.
Andrew lays on his bed and closes his eyes, hoping he can finally get some sleep. He has only been in the Dibizbee Foundation’s mansion for one day, and already he is thoroughly exhausted. He is very worried that he will not be able to endure an entire week of Rena and Elaine and Francine and Sharon. He is equally worried that he will not be able to successfully juggle his affairs with all four women for an entire week. He is equally worried that his charity scam will be exposed before he can successfully defraud the foundation. All of these worries, along with memories of Rena’s emasculating comments and Francine’s ungenerous nature and Sharon’s very sharp teeth and Elaine’s various household objects dance around in Andrew’s mind as he drifts off to sleep.
Now he is dreaming. Strangely, he is not having his usual recurring nightmare about the hideous woman from his past named Pustilla. Instead, he is having a different dream. In this dream, he is very tiny, as tiny as an ant. He is on a table in one of the mansion’s dining rooms. Rena and Francine and Elaine and Sharon are sitting around the table, dining on various exquisite-looking dishes that are laid out on the table. The table and the dishes and the four women all seem gigantic to Andrew because of his size.
None of the four women seem to be aware of Andrew’s presence on the table.
“This is all so delicious,” Elaine says.
“I agree,” Sharon says.
Francine notices Andrew on the table. “Hey, what’s that?” Francine says.
“I don’t know,” Rena says. “But it looks delicious.”
“Let’s eat it!” Sharon says.
She begins reaching toward Andrew.
Andrew begins to run away from her seemingly gigantic hand.
“Hey, he’s running away!” Francine says.
“Oh no!” Elaine says. “Don’t let that delicious snack get away!”
“Don’t worry,” Rena says. “I’ve got him.”
Rena presses her seemingly gigantic, red-nail-polished thumb down onto Andrew, stopping him. He tries to escape, but he can’t.
“You caught him!” Sharon says.
“Wonderful!” Elaine says.
“Now we can all enjoy this delicious snack!” Francine says.
Rena picks Andrew up from the table and holds him in the air. She licks her lips while gazing at him.
“No,” Rena says, not taking her eyes off Andrew. “Only I will get to enjoy this delicious snack.”
“Oh, that’s not fair!” Francine says.
“We should all get to try it!” Elaine says.
“No,” Rena says, still looking at Andrew. “This snack is all mine. He’s all mine. You’re all mine, Andrew Squervil.”
Rena then opens her mouth and begins moving Andrew toward it. As Andrew is about to be devoured by her, he screams.
Then Andrew wakes up. The first thing he sees is Rena, the real Rena. She is sitting on the bed, on his mid-torso, looking down at him with concern.
“Are you okay?” she says. “You’re sweating profusely and you looked like you were having a bad dream.”
“What time is it?” Andrew says.
Daylight is coming through the bedroom’s window. Andrew looks at a nearby clock and sees that he has been asleep for less than an hour.
“It’s very early in the morning,” Rena says. “We’re supposed to meet Francine and Elaine and Sharon for breakfast later this morning.” Now she is running one of her fingers across Andrew’s shirtless chest. “I was hoping you could help me pass the time before then,” she says. She licks her lips in a suggestive manner, then leans into Andrew and begins kissing him.
Andrew knows that he should be enjoying this, but he is still very exhausted, and also still very shaken from the disturbing dream in which he was being devoured by the hottie who is now kissing him.
Andrew gently pulls away from Rena and says: “Actually, perhaps we shouldn’t do this, Missus Dibizbee. I know it’s early, but the other foundation board members might be awake already, and they might be walking around the mansion, and they might overhear us and find out what’s going on between us. You want us to keep our affair a secret, remember?”
Rena grins. “You are so adorable, Andrew Squervil,” she says. “Every time I think you’ve reached the height of adorability, you exceed my expectations. There’s no need to worry about being found out. The door to your bedroom is closed and locked. And the walls and doors in this mansion are so absurdly thick that no one outside this bedroom would be able to hear any noises coming from here… not even the loudest, most passionate scream. Now kiss me, you sexy man muffin.” She begins kissing him again.
Andrew begins kissing her back, dismayed that he was unable to dissuade her. He craves sleep badly.
Later, Andrew and Rena and Francine and Elaine and Sharon are sitting at a table and having breakfast in one of the mansion’s dining rooms. The breakfast consists of extra-small carrots and zucchinis. Everyone except Andrew is well-rested.
During the breakfast, the women are asking Andrew various questions about the Andrew Squervil Organization: its history; what inspired him to form the organization; how many people the organization has helped thus far; its annual budget; and so on. Andrew is so exhausted from the events of last night and earlier this morning that he is struggling to give believable answers to their questions.
Complicating the matter further for Andrew are various distracting things that the women are discreetly doing while he is trying to tell his lies: Francine, who is sitting next to Andrew, has taken his hand underneath the table and, also underneath the table, placed his hand on a part of her body that he is now very familiar with; Elaine, who is sitting directly across from Andrew, is smiling at him cheerfully while, underneath the table, playfully jamming her sharp-stiletto-heeled foot into him, causing him pain; Rena is gazing at Andrew lustfully while licking and sucking on an extra-small carrot in a suggestive manner, occasionally stopping to gaze longingly at a very large zucchini on her plate; Sharon is also gazing at Andrew lustfully while biting into extra-small carrots with her very sharp teeth, unintentionally reminding Andrew of the painful mishap from last night.
While all this is going on, Molly the maid periodically comes in and out of the room, discreetly giving Andrew threatening looks. Andrew still hasn’t figured out how he will successfully double-cross her after he’s gotten the money from the foundation.
The remainder of Andrew’s week with the Dibizbee Foundation turns out to be as exhausting for Andrew as the first day was. He has to spend his mornings and afternoons and evenings with all four foundation board members, all the time, engaging is all kinds of energy-draining leisure activities with them. And he has to spend his nights juggling his secret affairs with them, always on the verge of being caught, always being denied even one full hour of sleep.
By the end of the week, Andrew is more exhausted than he has even been before in his life. He feels like he might pass out at any moment. Since beginning his quest to become rich, Andrew has experienced many forms of suffering: humiliation… disappointment… beatings… imprisonment… but this is the first time he has suffered from multiple intimate encounters with beautiful women.
Now it is Andrew’s last day in the mansion, and it is almost time for him to leave. It is also almost time for him to be officially informed whether the Dibizbee Foundation has decided to give a donation to the Andrew Squervil Organization. He is standing in the mansion’s absurdly large vestibule. Rena and Sharon and Francine and Elaine are also in the vestibule, all still blissfully unaware that they have been sharing Andrew with each other all week. Molly is also in the vestibule, feather-dusting various pieces of furniture in the room.
Rena is holding an expensive-looking envelope. She and the other three foundation board members are looking at Andrew as if they are each very pleased with him.
“Andrew Squervil, on behalf of the Dibizbee Foundation, I hereby award the Andrew Squervil Organization with this very generous financial donation,” Rena says.
She hands the envelope to Andrew.
Andrew’s eyes are watering. He has suffered so much, but now it seems like it was all worth it. “Thank you, Missus Dibizbee,” he says. “Thank you, all of you. I can’t even begin to tell you how much this gift will help my charitable organization reach its goals.”
Andrew opens the envelope and takes out its content: a check from the Dibizbee Foundation, made out to the Andrew Squervil Organization. The check is signed by Rena, and also has her lipstick imprint on it. The check is for an absurdly low amount of money, an amount less than what it would cost to live in a very crummy apartment for one month. This is definitely not enough money to make Andrew rich. Not even close.
Andrew looks up and sees that Molly has registered his disappointed reaction to the check amount. Now she has a disappointed expression of her own.
“What is this?” Andrew says, speaking to the foundation board members. “Is this some kind of a joke?”
Rena has a shocked, offended expression on her face. “It’s a very generous donation, Andrew,” she says. “In fact, it’s the largest charitable donation the Dibizbee Foundation has ever given.”
“What?” Andrew says. “Are you serious? But the foundation has so much money!”
“Yes, and the foundation uses most of its money for its operating expenses: the foundation’s website; this mansion; Molly the maid; the salaries for myself and the other foundation board members; our annual bonuses; and so on,” Rena says. “After all those expenses have been paid for, there’s very little money left in the foundation’s annual budget for charity donations.”
Andrew throws down the check and the envelope, enraged. “You bimbos have all cheated me!” he says.
Rena puts her arms akimbo in a disapproving manner. “Andrew!” she says in a disapproving tone. “This behavior is most definitely not adorable!”
“Yes, Andrew,” Elaine says. “You’re being a very poor representative of the Andrew Squervil Organization right now.”
Sharon and Francine nod in agreement, clearly just as disappointed in Andrew.
“No, he isn’t,” Molly says. “He couldn’t possibly be a poor representative of the Andrew Squervil Organization… because the Andrew Squervil Organization doesn’t exist!”
“What?!” Rena and Sharon and Elaine and Francine say simultaneously.
“Is this true, Andrew?” Rena says, her arms still akimbo.
Andrew sighs, feeling defeated and exhausted. “Yes, that’s right,” he says. “I was scamming you. There is no Andrew Squervil Organization. And I’ll tell you something else: I’ve been deceiving all of you bimbos in more ways than one: all week long, each of you thought I was your personal plaything, but I’ve really been having intimate encounters with all four of you!”
“What?!” Rena and Sharon and Elaine and Francine say simultaneously, again.
“That’s right,” Andrew says, sneering. “And let me tell you one more thing before I leave: I’ve cheated on many, many women in my life, but you four bimbos are by far the dumbest, most gullible women I’ve ever encountered! Goodbye forever!”
Andrew walks over to the door to the outside, eager to get far, far away from the Dibizbee Foundation. He tries to open the door, but it’s locked. He attempts to unlock the door, but it requires a key.
“It requires a key, Andrew,” Molly says. “A key I have in my pocket.”
“Let me out of here!” Andrew says.
“Molly, please call the police and arrange for them to come here and arrest Andrew for trying to defraud our foundation,” Rena says.
“Of course, Missus Dibizbee,” Molly says, sneering. She takes a phone out of her pocket and begins to make a call with it.
“You can’t keep me here,” Andrew says. “I’ll break the door down if I have to. I’ll be gone long before the police arrive.”
“I guess we’ll have to forcefully keep him here until the police arrive,” Rena says to the other foundation board members.
Elaine and Francine and Sharon nod in agreement.
Rena and Elaine and Francine and Sharon begin approaching Andrew. Before he can process what is about to happen, Elaine kicks him in the groin with one of her sharp-stiletto-heeled feet, causing him to fall to the ground in agony. Rena and Elaine and Francine and Sharon proceed to pummel Andrew mercilessly. For the very first time, all four members of the Dibizbee Foundation’s board of directors are working together to achieve a common goal.