An Engagement

In an exotic, largely uncharted part of the world, there is an island. The island has a queen. She is a very rich, very fat, single woman. She is the sole ruler of the island. Her name is Eternia. She was named after a beautiful goddess from a short story.

Eternia lives in a mansion in the center of the island. Tonight, in the master bedroom of her mansion, Eternia is laying on her gigantic pink bed. Laying next to her on the bed is a sleazy, non-rich man named Andrew Squervil. Moments ago, Andrew completed his seduction of the queen.

“That was wonderful, Andrew,” Eternia says.

“Yes, I enjoyed it too,” Andrew says, lying. In actuality, he found the experience quite unpleasant.

Looking at the queen’s increasingly fat body, Andrew wonders if he should abandon his plan to become rich by marrying the queen, thereby gaining access to her wealth. He wonders if being rich is really worth being with a woman he finds utterly repulsive.

He decides that it is. “I know we don’t know each other very well, but will you marry me?” Andrew says.

Eternia is ecstatic. “Yes!” she says. “Yes, Andrew, yes! Let’s get married tomorrow! It will be a fabulous wedding!”

She presses her fat face against Andrew’s face, kissing Andrew passionately. Andrew is looking around the bedroom, trying to focus on anything that might distract him from the queen’s insatiable mouth.

Later during the night, Eternia, who has been sleeping, wakes up. She has a craving for chocolate, and a craving for Andrew. She is surprised to find that Andrew is not next to her on the bed. She wonders where he is. She gets out of the bed, then exits the bedroom to find Andrew, and chocolate.

While walking through the mansion, Eternia hears noises coming from the parlor. She goes to the parlor to investigate.

Much to her surprise, Eternia finds Andrew there, kissing one of her many attractive live-in maids. Eternia screams, enraged.

Realizing he has been caught, Andrew pulls away from the maid. As Eternia is approaching Andrew with her fat hands formed into clenched fists, Andrew tries to think of some lie he could say that might somehow explain away his infidelity. But he can’t.

And now Andrew is pinned down to the floor by Eternia, who is on top of Andrew, pummeling him mercilessly. As Eternia smashes her fat fists into Andrew’s face repeatedly, Andrew realizes that his chances of marrying the queen have become non-existent.