Elixtra

In a movie theater, a movie is starting. The name of the movie is “Elixtra”. It is based on a short story with a different title. Though some liberties were taken with the adaptation, it is for the most part a faithful adaptation. The movie is set on a strange island in an alternate universe, and stars a beautiful actress named Lililalaya. In the movie, Lililalaya plays a character named Elixtra.

At the beginning of the movie, Elixtra is getting married to a handsome man named Zernandio. The wedding is taking place on the island, in a lavish outdoor ceremony. All of the island’s residents are in attendance.

Zernandio and Elixtra are standing before a minister, who is conducting the wedding rituals.

“Do you, Zernandio, want to enter into a committed, monogamous marriage with Elixtra, queen of our island?” the minister says.

“I do,” Zernandio says.

“And do you promise that you will never, ever cheat on her?” the minister says.

“I do,” Zernandio says.

“And do you, Queen Elixtra, want to enter into a committed, monogamous marriage with Zernandio, thereby giving him full access to all your wealth and making him co-ruler of the island?” the minister says.

“I do,” Elixtra says.

“Then by the power invested in me, I now pronounce Zernandio and Elixtra a married couple,” the minister says.

Zernandio and Elixtra kiss each other. Zernandio has achieved a wealthy status and is now king of the island.

Later, Zernandio and Elixtra are in Elixtra’s castle, which is now also Zernandio’s castle.

“Let’s go to our bedroom,” Elixtra says. “I have a wonderful surprise for you there.”

Elixtra and Zernandio go into Elixtra’s bedroom, which is now also Zernandio’s bedroom. In the bedroom, Elixtra reaches under her gigantic bed. She takes a very small corked bottle from under the bed. She uncorks the bottle, then holds the bottle out to Zernandio.

“This is for you, Zernandio,” Elixtra says.

Zernandio takes the bottle. “What is it?” he says, examining it.

“It’s an indestructible bottle,” Elixtra says. “Inside that bottle is a very rare elixir. It will make anyone who drinks it immortal and ageless.”

“You must be joking,” Zernandio says.

“I am not joking,” Elixtra says. “Drink the elixir.”

Zernandio shrugs, then drinks the elixir. He does not feel any different.

“Now you are ageless and immortal,” Elixtra says.

“You’re being silly,” Zernandio says. “I’m not ageless and immortal.”

“You are,” Elixtra says. “The elixir transformed you, just as it transformed me many, many years ago.”

“You drank the elixir too?” Zernandio says.

“Yes,” Elixtra says. “It was given to me by one of my many, many suitors. The suitor was a very brilliant alchemist. He gave the elixir to me as a reward for my beauty. I drank some of the elixir, but saved the rest of it to give to my future husband, whoever that would be, so he and I could be together forever. That man ended up being you, Zernandio. You and I are now both ageless and immortal. You will be with me forever. You will be the happiest man who has ever existed. Kiss me, my soul mate.”

Zernandio and Elixtra kiss each other. Zernandio is certain she is insane, but her beauty makes that irrelevant to him.

Some time later, Zernandio and Elixtra are laying on the bed. Elixtra is getting ready to go to sleep.

“Zernandio, I want to sleep now,” Elixtra says.

“Yes, I’m quite tired too,” Zernandio says.

“I prefer to sleep in the bed alone,” Elixtra says.

“Oh,” Zernandio says.

“You can sleep on the couch in the parlor,” Elixtra says.

“The couch?” Zernandio says. “Can’t I sleep in one of the many other bedrooms in the castle?”

“All of the other bedrooms are already occupied by my live-in maids,” Elixtra says.

Some time later, Zernandio is laying on an uncomfortable couch in the castle’s parlor. He is having trouble falling asleep even though he is very tired.

One of Elixtra’s many, many attractive maids enters the parlor.

“Hello,” the maid says.

“Hello,” Zernandio says. “I don’t believe we’ve been introduced to each other.”

“I’m Tendra,” the maid says.

“I’m Zernandio,” Zernandio says.

“I know who you are,” Tendra says. “I was at your wedding. The queen is a very lucky woman. Very lucky indeed.”

“It’s very late,” Zernandio says. “Why aren’t you asleep in your bedroom?”

“I couldn’t sleep,” Tendra says. “I was thinking about you. I figured you would be down here in the parlor. I know the queen doesn’t let other people sleep in her bed.”

“Yes, I only recently learned that,” Zernandio says.

“The queen is a very selfish woman,” Tendra says. “If you were my husband, I would gladly share my bed with you.”

“Where is Elixtra?” Zernandio says.

“I passed by her bedroom moments ago,” Tendra says. “She is sleeping soundly in her bed.”

“And where are the other maids?” Zernandio says.

“They are all sleeping soundly in their beds,” Tendra says. “Only you and I are awake now.”

“We must be very discreet,” Zernandio says.

“I can be discreet,” Tendra says.

Zernandio and Tendra begin kissing each other.

Elixtra enters the parlor. She is holding the small, indestructible bottle Zernandio drank from earlier, along with its cork. Tendra pulls away from Zernandio.

“Thank you, Tendra,” Elixtra says. “You may leave now.”

Tendra exits the parlor.

“It was a test, Zernandio,” Elixtra says. “A test to see whether you would cheat on me. You failed the test, Zernandio.”

Zernandio laughs. “So what?” he says. “There’s nothing you can do about it. We got married, and you were stupid enough to not make me sign a prenuptial agreement beforehand. Your wealth is my wealth! Your island is my island! And nothing you do can change that!”

“That’s true, Zernandio,” Elixtra says. “You are my husband and forever shall be. And, technically, you are and forever shall be the co-ruler of this island. And, technically, all of my wealth is and forever shall be also yours.”

Zernandio sneers. “So that’s it then,” Zernandio says. “I’ve won.”

Suddenly, from Zernandio’s perspective, it appears that Elixtra is rapidly becoming much larger and much taller. To Zernandio, she now appears to be a giant. To Zernandio, the parlor’s ceiling appears to be miles away, and the parlor’s furniture appears to be much, much larger. “What’s happening?” Zernandio says.

“Do you remember that alchemist I told you about, Zernandio?” Elixtra says. “He gave me more than just the elixir for agelessness and immortality. He also gave me an elixir that gives one the power to shrink things using only their mind. I drank that elixir, Zernandio, and I have that power. And I’ve used that power to shrink you! You’re now as small as an ant! But you’re not an ant, are you? You’re a demon, Zernandio! And demons belong in bottles!”

Sensing danger, Zernandio tries to run away, but Elixtra catches him. She puts Zernandio into the bottle.

Elixtra looks into the bottle, at Zernandio. “I’m glad that I made you immortal, Zernandio,” Elixtra says. “It will be comforting to know that your imprisonment will never, ever end. Goodbye, Zernandio. Goodbye forever.”

“Wait!” Zernandio says. “Don’t do this! I can ch-”

Elixtra re-corks the bottle before Zernandio can finish speaking.

Elixtra goes to a nearby beach. She throws the corked, indestructible bottle into the ocean. The bottle sinks to the bottom of the ocean, where it will remain forever.

Inside the bottle, Zernandio is still desperately trying to get Elixtra to listen to him. “Give me another chance!” Zernandio says. “Give me just one more chance! I can be a good person! I can change! I can change!”

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