Red Liquid

Today, on the 135th floor of an office building of a corporation that manufactures and sells honey products, a man named Nerwin is sitting in his cubicle. Nerwin is a low-level employee at this honey corporation.

Nerwin is supposed to be working on a project now, but he is instead thinking about Jenna, an attractive female employee of the corporation. Nerwin has been infatuated with Jenna for quite some time. Nerwin very recently received some distressing news about Jenna: that she had become intimately involved with a sleazy male co-worker named Thad.

Thad’s work station is the cubicle next to Nerwin’s cubicle. Thad is the same age as Nerwin, but is more physically attractive than Nerwin. Thad is currently intimately involved with multiple attractive women at the company, including but not limited to Jenna and the company’s owner and president, Gloria.

Nerwin does not like Thad, but Thad is completely oblivious to that dislike. And, for some reason, Thad frequently confides in Nerwin and provides Nerwin with updates as to Thad’s intimate encounters with women.

Most of the women at the company who Thad is intimately involved with are unaware that Thad is involved with multiple women at the company. Because of the massive size of the company, most of those women don’t even know each other. Many of those women think that they are the only one Thad is intimately involved with.

An attractive female co-worker named Abigail enters Nerwin’s cubicle. She is holding a large paper cup containing red liquid. She looks furious. “Where is he?” Abigail says. “Where’s Thad?”

“In his cubicle, I guess,” Nerwin says.

“I already checked there, you idiot,” Abigail says. “He’s not there! Tell me where he is!”

“I don’t know,” Nerwin says.

“Of course you do!” Abigail says. “You’re his cohort, aren’t you? I always see him here talking with you! You help him carry on all his office hook-ups, don’t you? Covering for him, making sure the women don’t find out about each other!”

“No, that’s really not the case at all,” Nerwin says, increasingly nervous in response to Abigail’s increasingly red, rage-filled face.

“Don’t lie to me!” Abigail says. “I know all about your type! Well you can tell your cohort Thad that I found out that he’s been cheating on me! And you can tell him that he and I are finished! And you can also tell him this!” Abigail dumps the red liquid on Nerwin’s head, then storms away.

A few minutes later, Thad enters Nerwin’s cubicle. Thad has lipstick on his neck. “My meeting with Gloria just ended,” Thad says. “She was particularly voracious today.” Thad notices the massive red stain on Nerwin’s shirt. “What happened to your shirt?” Thad says.

“Abigail stopped by,” Nerwin says. “She was looking for you and she was angry. She dumped a red beverage on me. She knows you’re involved with other women at the company.”

“That’s okay,” Thad says. “I’ll smooth things over with her.”

“I’m sure you will,” Nerwin says bitterly.

“What’s wrong?” Thad says.

“It seems like every time one of your workplace flings finds out about your infidelity, I end up suffering for it instead of you,” Nerwin says. “This time, it was a red beverage dumped on me. Last time, I got punched in the face. The time before that, the woman bit me. And the time before that-”

“I know, I know,” Thad says. “You don’t need to remind me. But listen, I feel bad about all the terrible stuff that’s happened to you because of me. But I’ll make it up to you: tomorrow, I’ll buy you lunch. Well, I’d better go smooth things over with Abigail. See you later!” Thad exits Nerwin’s cubicle.

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