Revenge of the Five Angry Women

During an evening, in a very upper-class neighborhood, sleazy non-rich person Andrew Squervil and his beautiful, rich fiancee Gloria are having an intimate encounter in the master bedroom of Gloria’s mansion.

Outside of Gloria’s mansion, a large truck quietly parks by the mansion, outside the tall, circular gate that surrounds the mansion. Inside the truck are five women. Their names are Lauren, Jan, Mindy, Julia, and Annette.

“This is Gloria’s mansion,” Lauren, the driver of the truck, says.

“How will we get into the mansion?” Julia says.

“We don’t need to get into the mansion,” Annette says. “Gloria’s in-ground pool is outside the mansion, in its backyard.”

“But it’s still surrounded by the gate,” Julia says.

“Not to worry,” Lauren says. “I’ve got it all worked out. I spoke with the maid who works in the mansion in the evenings. The maid is going to unlock the gate for us. She hates Andrew too, so she’s more than happy to help us with our revenge plan. I’ll call her now.” Lauren picks up her cellular phone and begins dialing a phone number.

Inside Gloria’s mansion, Andrew and Gloria are laying on Gloria’s bed, relaxing.

“You’re amazing, Andrew,” Gloria says.

“You’re amazing too,” Andrew says.

“Just think: in a few days, you and I will be a married couple,” Gloria says, looking at the ultra-expensive engagement ring Andrew bought Gloria with some of Gloria’s money. “It’s hard to believe that just a few weeks ago I thought you were a complete loser and I wanted nothing to do with you.”

“Yes, it’s funny how things change,” Andrew says, drifting off to sleep.

Now he is sleeping. Gloria is also sleeping now, with her head resting on Andrew’s chest, and a satisfied look on her face.

Outside Gloria’s mansion, Gloria’s maid opens the gate. Lauren quietly drives the truck through the gate. Jan opens the back of the truck. The back of the truck contains a gigantic vat of manure. Using a very long hose, Jan and Annette begin to syphon the manure out of the vat and into Gloria’s in-ground pool located in the backyard.

Inside Gloria’s mansion, Gloria and Andrew are both still sleeping.

In the morning, Andrew wakes up on Gloria’s bed, in Gloria’s bedroom. Gloria is standing nearby, wearing a very revealing bathing suit.

“I’m about to have my daily morning swim,” Gloria says. “Join me.”

A few minutes later, Gloria and Andrew walk out of the mansion, into its backyard, where the in-ground pool is.

Much to Gloria’s horror, the pool is full of manure. “What happened to my pool?” Gloria says. “This is disgusting! Who did this?”

Lauren, Jan, Annette, Julia, and Mindy come out from where they were hiding. “We did this,” Lauren says.

“Why?” Gloria says.

“To get revenge on Andrew for seducing us and lying to us and manipulating us and stealing from us,” Mindy says.

Andrew laughs. “Some revenge plan,” he says. “The five of you bimbos are even dumber than I remember. How is filling Gloria’s pool with manure revenge on me?”

“This is how,” Julia says. She pushes Andrew into the pool.

“Andrew!” Gloria says.

Andrew is in the pool, flailing wildly. Every inch of his body is covered in manure. He desperately swims toward the closest edge of the pool, then climbs out. He frantically looks for a towel to clean himself off, but does not see any towels around.

“Andrew!” Gloria says. “You’re covered in manure! You’re disgusting! How could you do this to me?”

“It’s not my fault!” Andrew says. “Julia pushed me into the pool!”

“I can’t get married to you now,” Gloria says.

“What?” Andrew says.

“You’re disgusting!” Gloria says. “You’re covered in manure!”

“But I’ll clean it off me!” Andrew says.

“It doesn’t matter!” Gloria says. “Whenever I look at you now, I’ll always have this disgusting image of you covered in manure in my mind! You blew it, Andrew. I want you to get off my property immediately. I do not want to ever see you again.”

Gloria goes back into her mansion, then locks the doors to the mansion’s backyard.

Andrew is standing in stunned silence.

“We knew how shallow Gloria is,” Lauren says, speaking to Andrew. “We knew that as soon as she saw you covered in manure, she would want nothing more to do with you.”

Andrew wipes some manure off his face. He flings it at Lauren. It misses its target.

Lauren, Jan, Mindy, Julia, and Annette begin running away. Andrew begins chasing after them, off of Gloria’s property. Realizing he can’t catch up to them, he stops running.

A few hours later, Lauren, Jan, Mindy, Julia, and Annette are in Annette’s apartment, celebrating the cancellation of Andrew and Gloria’s wedding.

Advertisements