A Disgusting Proposition

In the morning, non-rich person Andrew Squervil wakes up in the master bedroom of his rich, beautiful fiancee’s mansion. Andrew is laying on his fiancee’s very large, very comfortable bed.

His fiancee Koila isn’t on the bed with him as she has already woken up and is downstairs, having breakfast in the mansion’s dining room. Andrew gets up and joins Koila in the dining room. He notices that Koila’s beautiful live-in maid Tresella is nearby, dusting a teapot.

Andrew and Koila kiss each other. “Last night was wonderful, Andrew,” Koila says.

“Yes,” Andrew says. “It was.”

Tresella, who is out of Koila’s view, smiles at Andrew knowingly. Then Tresella winks at him. Then she blows him a kiss.

Andrew’s relationship with Koila is going well. His secret affair with Tresella is also going well.

Unfortunately for Andrew, a woman named Strinella is approaching the mansion. She is carrying an envelope with only Koila’s name written on it. Strinella places the envelope in Koila’s mailbox. Then Strinella returns to her own mansion.

Later, Koila’s maid Tresella brings in Koila’s mail and gives it to Koila. Koila opens the envelope and takes out its content, which is a photograph of Koila’s bedroom. Whoever took the photograph was standing somewhere outside the mansion, aiming their camera at the bedroom’s window. In the photograph, Andrew and Tresella are carrying on their affair on Koila’s bed.

Seeing the photograph enrages Koila. She cancels her engagement to Andrew and dumps him and fires Tresella and evicts both of them from the mansion.

Outside the mansion, Tresella punches Andrew in the face. “You jerk!” she says. “This is all your fault! You said we wouldn’t get caught! You said we had nothing to worry about! I hate you, Andrew! I don’t want to ever see you again!” Tresella storms off.

Andrew, who is nearly broke and now in need of an inexpensive place to stay at, begins walking across the street, toward Strinella’s mansion.

Strinella and Koila live in the same upper-class neighborhood. A few days ago, Koila was having a party at her mansion. Koila has such parties at her mansion several times a month. All of the neighborhood’s residents, including Strinella, had been invited to this party. Strinella was in attendance. Andrew, who was still engaged to Koila and still living in her mansion at the time, was also in attendance.

It was during this party that Strinella approached Andrew and, with no one else close enough to overhear her, said to him: “I know about you and Koila’s maid. I saw the two of you carrying on your affair from my window. I know you don’t really love Koila and you just want to marry her for her money. I know what a horrible person you really are, Andrew Squervil. But don’t worry, Andrew: I won’t reveal your infidelity to Koila.”

“You won’t?” Andrew said.

“I won’t,” Strinella said, lying. “But I want you to know that I’m madly attracted to you. You’ve awakened lustful feelings in me that I haven’t had since before my divorce. And I want you to know that if things don’t work out between you and Koila, there is a place for you in my mansion. Not as a husband, of course. I know better than to get married to a sleazy, gold-digging loser like you. But I would be more than willing to have you living in my mansion as my personal plaything.”

The thought of being Strinella’s personal plaything made Andrew want to cringe. He found her quite repulsive and would have very much enjoyed telling her so. But he didn’t want to say anything that might make her vengeful toward him, as she knew about his affair with Tresella. So Andrew simply said: “I’ll keep that offer in mind, Strinella.”

Andrew thought that was the end of the matter. But it wasn’t, as he now realizes.

And now he is at the front of Strinella’s mansion, ringing its doorbell. Strinella answers the door after only one ring. She is wearing negligee that makes her look even more repulsive to Andrew.

“Hello, Andrew,” Strinella says. “I’ve been waiting for you. I take it things didn’t work out between you and Koila.”

“You sent Koila that photograph,” Andrew says.

“Perhaps I did,” Strinella says, running one of her fingers across Andrew’s chest.

“You said you weren’t going to tell her,” Andrew says.

“I lied,” Strinella says.

“Why?” Andrew says.

“For my own amusement,” Strinella says. “You looked so cute when you thought I wouldn’t tell Koila about you and the maid. It’s so cute that you thought I would allow you to get married to Koila and live happily ever after. Oh, don’t look so morally outraged, Andrew. You’re really in no position to do so. Now, I take it you didn’t come here just to accuse me of ruining your life. Why don’t you come inside so we can begin our new living arrangement?”

Andrew gulps. In his mind, he considers his other options. He knows that he could use a small portion of what’s left of his savings to rent a crummy apartment. And he knows that  he could then get some menial, unsatisfying job that would allow him to continue living in said crummy apartment for the foreseeable future. But that is not a real option for Andrew Squervil. The idea of him working for a living has always repulsed and offended him. Unfortunately for Andrew, of all of his current options that don’t involve getting a job, Strinella seems to be the least undesirable option to him.

Andrew enters Strinella’s mansion, feeling very, very sorry for himself. As Andrew is following Strinella to her bedroom, he notices that all of the windows in her mansion have steel bars on them. He thinks that the bars are quite symbolically appropriate, given his current circumstances.

Advertisements