Tonight, Andrew Squervil is in a nightclub located in a very upper-class neighborhood. Because of the nightclub’s location, it is often populated by rich, single women.
Andrew knows this. That is why he came to the nightclub tonight. Andrew, who is not rich, has a goal to become rich. He plans to accomplish this goal by marrying a rich, preferably beautiful woman for her money.
While in the nightclub, Andrew meets a beautiful woman named Zotica. From the conversation that Andrew is having with Zotica, he learns much about her: that she is a very wealthy heiress; that she lives alone in a nearby mansion; that she is an artist; that her art is sculpting; that, though she has created many, many sculptures over the years, she has never sold any of her sculptures; that the general consensus on her sculptures seems to be that they are unimaginative and derivative.
Andrew pretends to be very much interested in hearing about Zotica’s artistic struggles. He asks her if he can see her sculptures.
“My sculptures are all back at my mansion,” Zotica says. She invites Andrew to come with her back to her mansion so she can show him her sculptures. Andrew and Zotica leave the nightclub together. Sometimes it is that easy for Andrew.
Later, at Zotica’s mansion, Zotica leads Andrew into a room containing all her sculptures. Andrew finds Zotica’s sculptures unimaginative and derivative, but he pretends to really like them. He tells Zotica that she shouldn’t give up, even though he really thinks that she probably should’ve given up a long time ago.
Zotica says that she hopes that she will one day sculpt a masterpiece; that she is just waiting for the right inspiration to come along.
Later, in Zotica’s bedroom, Andrew completes his seduction of Zotica.
Both of them enjoyed the experience, but Zotica is particularly ecstatic about it. She says that she found the experience, and Andrew, and his body, very, very inspiring. She says that she now knows what her next sculpture, her masterpiece, will be: a sculpture of Andrew.
Andrew thinks that Zotica probably had too much to drink at the nightclub, but he pretends to be enthusiastic about her idea, as he wants to marry her to gain access to her wealth. He agrees to pose for her in relation to the sculpture of him.
That night, in another room in Zotica’s mansion, while Andrew poses for Zotica as needed, Zotica begins creating a life-size sculpture of Andrew Squervil.
Andrew is not looking at Zotica while she is sculpting, per Zotica’s request. Zotica prefers that her subjects not look at her while she works, for reasons she herself does not quite understand.
In the very early morning, Zotica completes her sculpture. She is very pleased with the final result.
Zotica tells Andrew that she finished; that he can stop posing now. Andrew stops posing.
Zotica tells him to take a look at the finished sculpture and give her his honest opinion of it.
Andrew, who is now looking at the life-size sculpture of him, is utterly horrified by what he sees.
Andrew thinks that the sculpture is in many ways quite accurate. The sculpture’s head seems identical to Andrew’s head. For that part of the sculpture, it is like looking in a mirror for him. The sculpture’s chest and stomach and arms and hands are also quite accurate, as are the sculpture’s backside, and the sculpture’s legs, and the sculpture’s feet. It is the one remaining part of the sculpture that Andrew has a problem with. Andrew feels that that part of the sculpture is very inaccurate; that Zotica made that part of the sculpture much, much smaller than the real thing.
Andrew gently suggests to Zotica that perhaps she should revise that part of the sculpture; that perhaps she should make that part much, much larger, just for the sake of accuracy.
Zotica puts her arms around Andrew, trying to console him. “You have nothing to be ashamed of,” she says. “That part of the sculpture is more than big enough for me. Size isn’t that important to me anyway. Good things often come in very small packages.”
Andrew does not feel any better.
Zotica says that there is an annual art exposition coming up in a few days; that many local artists will be at the exposition, having their works on display, and for sale. Zotica says that she intends to be at this exposition, having her Andrew Squervil sculpture on display, and for sale.
Zotica asks Andrew if he will accompany her to the exposition. She says that having Andrew there would increase the likelihood of the sculpture getting sold, as potential buyers would be able to see how accurate the sculpture really is. Zotica says that Andrew’s accompaniment would mean a lot to her.
Andrew doesn’t want to attend the art exposition. He doesn’t want people comparing him to the very unflattering sculpture. He doesn’t want people thinking that that sculpture is an accurate portrayal of him.
But he knows it would mean a lot to Zotica, and that declining to accompany her would destroy any chance he has of conning her into marriage. So Andrew agrees to accompany Zotica to the art exposition.
Zotica is so happy that Andrew has agreed to accompany her to the art exposition. She is grateful for all his help and support. She leads Andrew back into her bedroom to express her gratitude in the best way she knows how.
A few days later, the art exposition is taking place. Many, many artists are in attendance. Many, many potential art buyers are also in attendance.
Zotica and Andrew are at the art exposition. Zotica’s sculpture is on display. Many, many people are admiring the sculpture. Many, many people are noticing how much her sculpture looks like Andrew.
At one point during the exposition, while Zotica is elsewhere, Andrew gets into a conversation with an attractive woman. She seems quite taken with Andrew. Then she notices the sculpture, particularly the part of it that Andrew is troubled by. Thinking that Andrew probably has very little to offer her, the woman very quickly ends her conversation with Andrew, then walks far, far away from him.
In his quest to become rich, Andrew has had many humiliating experiences, but this one is by far the worst.
Eventually, someone buys Zotica’s sculpture. Zotica is very happy. Andrew pretends to be very happy for her. Andrew suggests that they go have dinner in a fancy restaurant tonight to celebrate her success.
Zotica tells Andrew that, sadly, that will not be possible; that, as an artist, she has to avoid being repetitive; that she already got all the creative inspiration she could get from Andrew; that she now needs to move on to another subject; that she is ending their relationship here and now.
And that was how Zotica achieved artistic success, and how Andrew once again failed to become rich.