Precious Document

Today, using money he stole from his current girlfriend, formerly rich person Andrew Squervil hires a private investigator to conduct an investigation.

Since being stripped of his wealthy status, Andrew has had many, many misadventures, most of which in some way revolved around his goal to regain his wealthy status. These misadventures always ended badly for Andrew and collectively caused him much suffering, including but not limited to: public humiliations; intimate encounters with women he didn’t find attractive; merciless beatings; imprisonments; and being stranded at sea.

After a misadventure that resulted in Andrew getting stranded at sea, Andrew ended up on an island located in an exotic, largely uncharted part of the world. The existence of the island is a well-kept secret, unknown to most people throughout the world. The island’s location does not appear on any maps. The island is a wonderful, wonderful place that all of its residents cherish.

The island is ruled by a queen. She is the sole ruler of the island. She lives in a mansion in the center of the island. The queen is a very rich, very beautiful, single woman. Many people consider her to be the most beautiful woman who has ever existed. Because of her beauty, the queen has many, many suitors on the island.

During Andrew’s time on the island, Andrew got the opportunity to meet with the queen. He thought she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her beauty, and, more importantly, her massive wealth, made Andrew very much interested in her.

During Andrew’s meeting with the queen, Andrew got along quite well with her. She found him charming and attractive. She invited him to a dinner party.

Andrew, of course, accepted the invitation. He intended to seduce the queen and subsequently con her into marriage, thereby gaining access to her wealth and becoming co-ruler of the island.

However, Andrew never got the chance to do that. Shortly after his first meeting with the queen, a woman named Callandra tricked Andrew into drinking a beverage containing a very rare potion. The potion caused him to become unconscious for a very, very long period of time. Callandra is very much in love with the queen. Callandra saw Andrew as a very significant threat to her romantic intentions with the queen. So, while Andrew was unconscious, Callandra arranged for Andrew to be delivered back to his native land. When Andrew regained consciousness, he was back in his native land without any clues as to how to find a way back to the island.

Andrew was very angry about being cheated out of his chance at happiness. He vowed to himself that he would someday, somehow get back to the island.

So Andrew has hired the private investigator to find anything that might help Andrew find his way back to the island. Andrew realizes that this tactic is a long shot, but he is desperate.

A few weeks later, much to Andrew’s surprise, the private investigator provides Andrew with some findings. From the private investigator’s results, Andrew learns that there is a large corporation that used to do business with the queen. The corporation is located in Andrew’s country. When the corporation was doing business with the queen, it would routinely send some of its employees to the island to provide the queen with the requested services. The queen terminated her relationship with the corporation years ago, but, as a former employee told the private investigator, the corporation maintains confidential records of all its clients and former clients, including the queen. And, according to the former employee, the records for the queen include a document indicating exactly how to get to the island.

“Unfortunately, the former employee did not know where specifically the corporation keeps this document, only that it exists,” the private investigator says, speaking to Andrew. “It’s probably very well-hidden, definitely not easily accessible. You would have to be an employee there to even have a chance of getting to that document.”

Andrew gulps. He is having a horrifying realization. At a very early age, he decided that he would never, ever hold a job of any kind. The very idea of employment has always repulsed and offended him. But now, he is realizing that, in order to get to the document, he will have to somehow get a job at this corporation.

And so, much to his dismay, Andrew begins trying to get a job for the first time in his life.