Large, Heavy Object

Currently, as part of an attempt to become rich, sleazy person Andrew Squervil is working in the office environment of a large corporation. The corporation has a confidential document that Andrew could use to become rich. So he has obtained a job at the corporation to get access to that document.

Unfortunately for Andrew, the document is well-hidden somewhere in the corporation’s records. Since beginning his employment at the corporation, Andrew has been discreetly searching for clues as to how to get to the document.

One day, while Andrew is at work, pretending to look busy and trying to figure out how to find the document he wants to steal, he notices a very beautiful woman coming out of the C.E.O.’s office. The C.E.O. is with her, carrying a very large, very heavy object.

“Who is that?” Andrew says, speaking to Ferga, a female co-worker who is madly in love with Andrew.

“That’s Gloria,” Ferga says. “She’s one of the corporation’s biggest clients. She’s very wealthy. She’s also a total slut.”

Andrew has a goal to become rich. He would like to accomplish this goal by marrying a rich, preferably beautiful woman for her money. For that reason, he is very much interested in getting to know Gloria.

As Gloria and the C.E.O. are passing by Andrew and Ferga, Andrew hears Gloria saying to the C.E.O.: “Thank you for the gift. And thank you for carrying it to my limousine for me. Are you sure we shouldn’t get someone else to carry it? Someone stronger? It looks very, very heavy.”

Gloria is right: the large, heavy object is very, very heavy. But the C.E.O., who is madly attracted to Gloria and thus wants to impress her, says: “No need. I’m fine.”

“Allow me, boss,” Andrew says grabbing the large, heavy object away from the C.E.O.. “I insist.”

“Oh, okay,” the C.E.O. says, secretly annoyed. “Thank you, Alan.”

“It’s Andrew actually,” Andrew says, extending a hand to Gloria. “Andrew Squervil.”

“I’m Gloria,” Gloria says, shaking Andrew’s hand.

Carrying the large, heavy object, Andrew begins following Gloria out of the corporation’s office building to Gloria’s limousine. The journey is long and painful for Andrew. The object is very, very heavy.

They arrive at the limousine. Andrew puts the object into the limousine’s trunk.

Andrew then asks Gloria out. He expects her to say yes. Seducing beautiful women has never been much of a challenge for Andrew. It is one of the few things he is actually good at.

But Gloria’s response is: “I don’t date losers.” She gets into the back of her limousine. The limousine drives away.

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