Escape from the Five Angry Women

At the moment, sleazy person Andrew Squervil is being pummeled mercilessly by five angry women. This pummeling is taking place in a hallway of an office environment of a very large corporation.

Andrew and the five women pummeling him are all employees of the corporation. The five women’s names are Lauren, Annette, Jan, Mindy, and Julia. Until a few minutes ago, Andrew had been carrying on a secret office affair with each of these women. Until a few minutes ago, each of the five women thought she was the only employee Andrew was having a secret office affair with. Each woman was madly in love with Andrew, and incorrectly believed that Andrew was madly in love with her.

In actuality, Andrew had initiated secret office affairs with each of these women as part of his efforts to steal a certain document from the corporation. The document Andrew was trying to steal contains information that he could use to become rich. However, the document was well-hidden in the corporation’s electronic records. To get this document required knowing multiple computer passwords. Each of the women currently pummeling Andrew had one of the passwords he needed. So he initiated secret office affairs with each of these women to get close to them, close enough to steal their passwords. After stealing their passwords, Andrew used one of the corporation’s computers to access the document he wanted. He began printing the document.

However, the five women had simultaneously found out that Andrew was having secret office affairs with all five of them. The five women went to confront Andrew and caught him printing out the document he intended to steal.

And so, the five women are now pummeling Andrew mercilessly. Andrew has been pummeled many, many times before, but this pummeling is by far the worst. He wants to get as far far away from these five angry women as he possibly can.

Without the printed document in his possession, Andrew manages to crawl through the circle they had formed around him. He is now running away. The five women are running after him.

Now he is running out of the corporation’s office building. The five angry women are still running after him.

Up ahead, Andrew sees a lovely sight that he did not expect to see: a rich, beautiful, single woman named Gloria. Gloria is one of the corporation’s biggest clients. She is outside the corporation’s office building because she had a meeting with the corporation’s C.E.O. earlier today.

Gloria is about to get in the back of her limousine and depart when she notices Andrew running in her direction, being chased by five angry, attractive women.

Not that long ago, Gloria and Andrew were introduced to each other. Andrew, who wants to marry a rich, preferably beautiful woman for her money, is very interested in Gloria. On the day he was introduced to her, he asked her out. Her response to him was: “I don’t date losers.”

But now, seeing Andrew being chased by five angry, attractive women is causing Gloria to perceive Andrew differently. Gloria now thinks that Andrew must be a very interesting, very exciting man to evoke such passionate anger in the women chasing him. Gloria is now interested in finding out what Andrew Squervil is all about.

As he is running in her direction, she holds the limousine’s back door open for him and motions for him to get in the limousine. Andrew gets in the limousine. Gloria gets in after him, then closes and locks the limousine’s back door.

Outside the limousine, the five angry women are banging on the limousine’s windows, trying to break them to get to Andrew.

“I had no idea you could evoke such strong feelings in women, Andrew,” Gloria says. “Very interesting indeed. Would you like a glass of wine?”

Andrew realizes that, although he didn’t get the document he wanted from the corporation, he may have inadvertently stumbled into something just as good.

The limousine drives away, much to the anger of the five angry women. Andrew Squervil has escaped.

A few days later, one of the five angry women, Lauren, is sitting at her desk in her office, very upset. Gloria has discontinued her business relationship with the corporation, causing the corporation and its employees much financial uncertainty. Andrew had talked Gloria into discontinuing the business relationship. It was his way of getting revenge on the five angry women who pummeled him mercilessly.

To make matters worse, Lauren saw something equally upsetting in a newspaper earlier today: a public announcement of the engagement of Gloria to Andrew.

The idea that Andrew will get to live happily ever after infuriates Lauren. She wants to somehow get revenge on him, but she doesn’t know how.

Lauren thinks about Gloria, specifically what a shallow, shallow woman she is.

Then Lauren smiles. She’s figured out how she will get revenge on Andrew. She begins to work on her revenge plan.

Elsewhere, Gloria is stroking Andrew’s hair, admiring Andrew, the way one admires a trophy they’ve won. Andrew is smiling, blissfully unaware that, thanks to Lauren, his happiness will soon come to an end.

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