Fatal Lipstick

Before formerly rich person Andrew Squervil was stripped of his wealthy status as a result of a lawsuit against him, Andrew became a frequent visitor of a nightclub located in the very upper-class neighborhood that Andrew used to live in before his financial downfall. The nightclub is very exclusive in that it doesn’t normally let in people who aren’t rich and/or famous. After Andrew’s financial downfall, Andrew continues to be allowed into the nightclub only because all the nightclub’s staff members, who are all familiar with Andrew, are not aware that he is no longer rich.

Before Andrew’s financial downfall, Andrew met many, many beautiful women in this nightclub, many of whom he subsequently seduced. Seducing beautiful women has never been much of a challenge for Andrew. It is one of the few things he is actually good at.

Andrew continues to be a frequent visitor of the nightclub, but for a different reason. Andrew has a goal to regain his wealthy status. He plans to accomplish this goal by marrying a rich, preferably beautiful woman for her money. Whereas before his financial downfall, Andrew was visiting the nightclub only for the purpose of meeting some random beautiful woman to seduce and subsequently abandon, he now visits the nightclub on a regular basis for the purpose of meeting some random rich, single, preferably beautiful woman to con into marriage.

One night, Andrew goes to the nightclub, hoping to meet such a woman. While he is in the nightclub, he meets a rich, beautiful, single woman named Yelena. From the conversation that Andrew is having with Yelena, Andrew learns that Yelena isn’t as slutty as most of the women he previously seduced; that she is quiet and reserved and classy; that, though she has received marriage proposals from various suitors, and though she wants to get married, she has chosen to not get married yet, as she is still hoping to find her ideal mate, her soul mate, her metaphorical knight in shining armor.

Andrew asks Yelena what she thinks her ideal mate would be like. Yelena answers Andrew’s question.

So, in order to trick Yelena into falling in love with him, Andrew proceeds to pretend to be the type of man that Yelena would consider to be her ideal mate: caring; considerate; generous; well-meaning; altruistic; non-sleazy; monogamous; etcetera.

Yelena falls for Andrew’s deception and falls in love with Andrew. That night, Andrew and Yelena leave the nightclub together.

However, much to Andrew’s dismay, Yelena does not allow Andrew to consummate his relationship with her that night. Yelena tells Andrew that she thinks she and Andrew have something really special going on between them; that she doesn’t want to spoil it by rushing into things like she did with so many, many other men; that she thinks it would be a good idea if she and Andrew hold off on consummating their relationship, perhaps until after they get married, assuming they get married someday; that it will make the consummation a more special experience for the both of them.

The next day, during Yelena and Andrew’s first official date, Andrew asks Yelena to marry him. Yelena, of course, accepts Andrew’s marriage proposal.

Andrew, who wants to gain access to Yelena’s money as soon as possible, suggests that they have their wedding in the very, very near future.

Yelena agrees with Andrew’s suggestion, but on one condition: that, some time before the wedding, they have a party in which all her friends would be invited, so Yelena would have the opportunity to introduce Andrew to all her friends.

The wedding of Andrew and Yelena is scheduled to occur in 3 weeks. The pre-wedding party is scheduled to occur a few days before the wedding date. Invitations are sent out for both events.

After his financial downfall, Andrew ended up staying at the apartment of his friend Martin Pimbly and Martin’s girlfriend Pustilla. Andrew considers the apartment less than ideal, but it is the best living option currently available to him. Unbeknownst to Martin, Pustilla has been cheating on him with Andrew. Andrew doesn’t like Pustilla, nor does he find her attractive. In fact, he finds everything about her and every moment he is with her to be agonizingly horrible. He has only been carrying on the affair with her so that she will have incentive to not evict him from the apartment, which, despite Pustilla’s presence, is the least undesirable living situation currently available to Andrew.

However, now that Yelena and Andrew are engaged, Yelena decides that there is no need for Andrew to continue to live in that apartment when he could be living with her in her mansion instead. So Yelena invites Andrew to move into her mansion, even though they aren’t married yet.

So Andrew moves out of Martin and Pustilla’s apartment and into Yelena’s mansion. However, Yelena tells Andrew to sleep in one of the mansion’s guest bedrooms, rather than with her in the mansion’s master bedroom. She wants to continue this sleeping arrangement until after the wedding.

Though Andrew is annoyed that he has not yet been granted access to Yelena’s bedroom, he is happy to be living in a mansion again. He is also happy that he no longer has any need to continue the affair with Pustilla. And he is especially happy that, if all goes as planned, he will soon gain access to Yelena’s money, via his marriage to her.

On the day of Andrew and Yelena’s pre-wedding party, the party is taking place at a monstrously oversized ballroom that Yelena rented for the day. The event is catered, of course, along with all the other frills one would expect at such an event.

The ballroom is very crowded. Most of the party’s guests are Yelena’s female friends, and boyfriends of Yelena’s female friends, and husbands of Yelena’s female friends.

During the party, Yelena introduces Andrew to her attractive married female friend Zlinka. Andrew notices that Zlinka is wearing blue lipstick. Zlinka always wears blue lipstick. She is known for that.

Later, while the party is still going on, Yelena is having a conversation with some of her female friends and Zlinka’s husband. Yelena is wondering where Andrew is. Zlinka’s husband is wondering where Zlinka is. Elsewhere, outside the ballroom, in Zlinka’s spacious car, Andrew is having an intimate encounter with Zlinka, unbeknownst to Yelena and Zlinka’s husband and the various other party guests.

Ironically, while that is going on, one of Yelena’s female friends asked Yelena if she ever worries about other women throwing themselves at Andrew, given how attractive he is.

“I never worry about that,” Yelena says. “I trust Andrew. And, in any case, I keep him on a very tight leash, metaphorically speaking.”

Later, after the party ends, Andrew and Yelena are sitting in the back of Yelena’s limousine, which is being driven by Yelena’s chauffeur to Yelena’s mansion.

Yelena is in a good mood. She very much enjoyed the pre-wedding party.

Andrew is also in a good mood. Though he cleaned Zlinka’s blue lipstick stains off his face before returning to the party, he can still taste Zlinka’s blue, marshmallow-flavored lipstick on his lips.

Suddenly, Yelena does something Andrew did not expect: she tells Andrew that she doesn’t want to wait until after their wedding to consummate their relationship; that she wants to consummate their relationship now, in the back of the limousine. Andrew says that that sounds like an excellent idea. Yelena begins to unbutton Andrew’s shirt.

Suddenly, Andrew remembers that his chest, along with various other concealed parts of his body, are still covered with Zlinka’s blue lipstick stains. However, Andrew realized his mistake too late: Yelena has unbuttoned his shirt, exposing his chest, which is covered with Zlinka’s blue lipstick stains. Yelena becomes furious. She punches Andrew, then tells him that their relationship is over, then kicks him out of the moving limousine. Andrew lands on a concrete sidewalk face-first.

Andrew looks up from the ground. Yelena’s limousine, and Yelena, are already gone. Andrew begins crawling back to Martin and Pustilla’s apartment, and back to Pustilla.

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