The Most Beautiful Woman

Currently, in an exotic, largely uncharted part of the world, despicable formerly rich person Andrew Squervil is stranded at sea. Andrew has been trapped in this situation for quite some time now.

Some time ago, Andrew was very wealthy and living in a mansion in his native land, a country located on the other side of the planet. But then, as a result of a lawsuit against him, Andrew was deservedly stripped of nearly all of his money and all of his assets, including his mansion. And then, as a result of various bad decisions, Andrew ended up where he is now: in an ocean, and far, far away from land of any kind.

Since being stripped of his wealthy status, Andrew has had a goal to become rich again. He intends to accomplish this goal by marrying a rich, preferably beautiful woman for her money. There was a time when this goal seemed attainable to Andrew. But now, here in this ocean of which there seemed to be no escape from, Andrew feels that he is as far away from his goal as he could possibly be.

Then Andrew sees a boat in the distance. The boat is coming toward him.

The person driving the boat is a beautiful woman named Callandra. She lives on a large island located in this exotic, largely uncharted part of the world. Callandra rescues Andrew from the ocean and brings him to the island. She takes him to her house, where she intends to provide him with food and shelter. After Andrew cleans himself up in Callandra’s bathroom, he joins Callandra in her dining room to have a meal that she prepared for him.

While having this meal, Andrew tells Callandra the story of how he ended up stranded at sea in this part of the world, although Andrew’s version of the story makes him seem like an admirable person, which he is not.

Andrew asks Callandra about the island and whether he will be able to get back to his native land from here. Callandra tells Andrew that this island has been populated by many people for many, many years; that its existence is kept in secrecy and is unknown to most people throughout the world; that the island’s location does not appear on any maps; that the island is a wonderful, wonderful place that all of its residents cherish; that, although transportation from this island back to Andrew’s native land can be easily arranged for Andrew, it is likely that he will never want to leave the island after becoming more familiar with it.

Since Andrew cleaned himself up in Callandra’s bathroom, Callandra has noticed that Andrew is actually quite attractive. Likewise, Andrew has noticed that Callandra is a beautiful woman. Seducing beautiful women has never been much of a challenge for Andrew. It is one of the few things he is actually good at. Andrew doesn’t plan to stay on this island very long, so he decides to indulge in Callandra while the opportunity is still available. So after finishing his meal, Andrew seduces Callandra.

Afterwards, Callandra tells Andrew that they will have to go meet with the island’s queen in a little while. Andrew doesn’t know what Callandra is talking about. Callandra explains to Andrew that the island is ruled by a queen; that the queen lives in a mansion in the center of the island; that the queen is a rich, single woman; that the queen is a very, very beautiful woman; that all of the island’s residents consider her to be the most beautiful woman who has ever existed; that the queen has many, many suitors; that it is a custom of the island that the queen meet all new guests to the island.

Although Andrew finds it highly unlikely that the queen is the most beautiful woman who has ever existed, he is excited about the idea of meeting her, given that she is rich, single, and apparently beautiful. Andrew thinks that perhaps he will be able to seduce the queen and subsequently marry her for her money. Andrew thinks that perhaps he will end up remaining on this island and living happily ever after here.

Later, Callandra brings Andrew to the queen’s mansion, which is the finest mansion Andrew has ever seen. As Andrew and Callandra enter the mansion, Andrew notices that the queen’s maids are all very attractive women. Some of these maids are looking at Andrew amorously.

One of the maids escorts Andrew and Callandra into the queen’s parlor, then tells them that the queen will be joining them shortly.

Later, the queen enters the parlor. Andrew immediately notices that she is the most beautiful woman he has ever seen, far more beautiful than Callandra and every other beautiful woman Andrew has ever seduced. Andrew is now in agreement that the queen is the most beautiful woman who has ever existed.

Callandra introduces Andrew to the queen. Andrew begins conversing with the queen, charming her, making a very strong effort to trick her into falling in love with him, as he has done with so many other women. The queen is quite taken with Andrew. In fact, Callandra, who is good friends with the queen, has never seen the queen this taken with anyone before. Callandra did not expect that the queen would respond this positively to Andrew. The queen tells Andrew that she will be having a small dinner party here in the mansion tomorrow night; that she would love it if Andrew attended the party so that she would have the opportunity to get to know him better. Andrew gladly accepts the invitation. Callandra notices that she wasn’t invited to the queen’s dinner party.

After saying goodbye to the queen, Andrew and Callandra leave the mansion and return to Callandra’s house. In Callandra’s parlor, Callandra asks Andrew what his intentions with the queen were. Sensing that Callandra is very jealous, Andrew tells her that he has no interest in the queen whatsoever; that he merely accepted the queen’s invitation out of politeness. Callandra doesn’t believe Andrew, but she pretends that she does. She begins preparing a beverage for Andrew.

As Callandra is preparing the beverage, Andrew is thinking about the queen. Andrew wonders how much of a threat the queen’s other suitors will be to him. He doesn’t anticipate that they will be much trouble. Andrew remembers the way some of the queen’s attractive maids were looking at him. He thinks that, not only will he get to be married to the very beautiful queen and share in her wealth, but he also will likely have plenty of opportunities to cheat on the queen with her maids on a regular basis. Which would be good for Andrew, because he has no desire to be in a strictly monogamous relationship, even if that relationship is with the most beautiful woman who has ever existed. Andrew is now very much looking forward to the future. It seems that he is going to live happily ever after.

“Here’s a beverage for you,” Callandra says, giving Andrew the beverage she prepared for him.

Stupidly, Andrew drinks the beverage. He then begins to feel very dizzy. He asks Callandra what is happening to him. Callandra tells Andrew that she slipped a very rare potion into the beverage; that the potion causes the person who drinks it to become unconscious for a very, very long period of time; that he will become unconscious in a few moments.

Andrew asks Callandra why she has done this to him. Callandra tells Andrew that she is very much in love with the queen; that Callandra hopes to one day win the queen’s love; that, after seeing how taken the queen is with Andrew, Callandra realized that he is a very significant threat to her romantic intentions with the queen; that Callandra decided that Andrew had to be removed from the island forever.

Callandra tells Andrew that, after he passes out, she will arrange for him to be delivered back to his native land; that, when he wakes up, he will be back in his native land without any clues as to how to find a way back to the island.

Andrew becomes unconscious.

Later, he wakes up in a filthy motel room. He looks out the room’s window. From the landscape that he sees, it is obvious to him that he is back in his native land. Realizing that he was cheated out of his chance at happiness, he kicks a nearby wall. Andrew vows to himself that he will someday, somehow get back to the island.

Although it seems very unlikely, Andrew will indeed get back to the island one day. And Andrew will get back to the queen. And Andrew will seduce her. And the queen will accept Andrew’s marriage proposal. And Andrew will cheat on the queen with one of her attractive maids. And, after finding out that Andrew cheated on her, the queen will punish Andrew for his infidelity in a terrible, terrible way that will cause Andrew to be miserable for a very, very, very long time.

But that is all in the future. At the moment, Andrew is trying to figure out how to get back to the island.