The Origin of Unfortunate Andrew

Andrew Squervil was born selfish. His selfishness isn’t the result of bad parenting or cultural influences or any other external factors. Andrew is just one of those people who would have been selfish no matter what circumstances they were born into. His selfishness is an inherent part of him.

Andrew was born slightly less than 30 years ago. He was born into a life of luxury. His parents, who are now dead, were very rich people. During Andrew’s childhood and adolescence, Andrew lived with his parents in their gigantic mansion, which was located in a very upper-class neighborhood.

At a very early age, Andrew decided that he would never, ever hold a job of any kind. The very idea of employment repulses and offends him. Andrew intends to spend the rest of his life living off his family’s vast fortune.

Despite his intention to never, ever hold a job of any kind, Andrew obtained a college degree during his early adult years. This occurred not because Andrew had had a desire to receive a higher education, but rather because Andrew’s parents had threatened to cut him off financially if he didn’t get a college degree. In the social circle that Andrew’s parents were a part of, it was considered barbaric and laughable to not have a college degree by a certain age. So Andrew’s parents wanted Andrew to get a college degree to prevent their family from social embarrassment. It was all just about keeping up appearances, nothing more.

Some time after finishing college, Andrew was living in an apartment shared by his friend Martin Pimbly. Martin and Andrew had attended the same college during the same time period. They had met each other during their first semester. Like Andrew, Martin is a despicable person. Andrew and Martin secretly dislike each other, but maintain their friendship nevertheless. Their friendship is sustained by shallow, self-serving reasons. Martin, who is not at all good at attracting women, likes being Andrew’s friend because it allows Martin to live vicariously through Andrew, who is very good at attracting women and who often has dalliances with very desirable women. Andrew likes being Martin’s friend because Andrew likes having a friend who is inferior to Andrew in every way. So their friendship is mutually beneficial.

Although the apartment that Andrew was sharing with Martin was nothing to scoff at, Andrew very much wanted to live in a mansion of his own instead. Unfortunately for Andrew, his parents had full control of their family’s fortune at that time, and were providing Andrew with only enough money to afford to live in the very nice apartment he was living in. Andrew resented his parents very much because of this.

One day, Andrew’s parents were killed in a yacht-related accident. Although most people would be devastated by the loss of their parents, Andrew became ecstatic in response to learning that his parents had been killed. That was because their deaths meant that Andrew, who is his parents’ only descendant, had full control of his family’s fortune. A few days after his parents’ funeral, which he did not attend, Andrew sold his parents’ mansion and purchased himself a newer, bigger mansion to live in.

Andrew spent the next few years living a life of luxury in his mansion. During that time, he seduced many, many beautiful women. Seducing women has never been difficult for Andrew. It is one of the few things he is really good at.

Andrew has no interest in things like love and marriage and monogamy. He views the women he seduces as interchangeable sources of gratification, nothing more. Usually, after completing his seduction of a woman, Andrew wants nothing more to do with her.

One day, a few days after his 29th birthday, Andrew meets a beautiful woman named Koila. Of course, Andrew wants to seduce her. While having a conversation with Koila, Andrew learns that she is interested in things like love and marriage and monogamy. So, in order to make Koila more susceptible to him, Andrew deceives her into thinking that he is also interested in things like love and marriage and monogamy. In Andrew’s mansion, Andrew completes his seduction of Koila, who, thanks to Andrew’s lies, believes that this intimate encounter is the consummation of what will be a long, meaningful relationship between her and Andrew.

A few moments after completing his seduction of Koila, Andrew says something to her that he has said to many, many other women after seducing them: “Get out of my mansion.”

Koila is confused, so Andrew clarifies the situation by maliciously revealing to her that he is not really interested in things like love and marriage and monogamy, and that he was only pretending to be interested in those things to get what he really wanted from her, and that he now wants nothing more to do with her. Koila leaves Andrew’s mansion, angry and upset. She vows to somehow get revenge on Andrew.

Some time later, Andrew is served with a summons and complaint. These legal documents list Koila as the plaintiff and list Andrew as the defendant. Andrew, who is no legal expert, brings the summons and complaint to an attorney to make sense out of for him.

The attorney Andrew is seeking legal assistance from is a beautiful married woman named Velaina. Although Andrew is now seeking legal assistance from Velaina, their relationship began as a non-professional one. On a previous occasion, Velaina cheated on her husband with Andrew, unbeknownst to Velaina’s husband.

After reviewing the summons and complaint for an unnecessarily long amount of billable time, Velaina tells Andrew what these legal documents mean: that Koila is suing Andrew for financial compensation for emotional distress that he allegedly caused her by cruelly ending his relationship with her after completing his seduction of her. Velaina tells Andrew the amount of money that Koila is suing him for. This information troubles Andrew greatly, as the amount is much higher than the amount of money that Andrew has.

Velaina assures Andrew that he has nothing to worry about. Velaina tells Andrew that Koila’s allegation is utterly absurd; that no judge in their right mind would take this lawsuit seriously; that the lawsuit will inevitably be thrown out by the court because of the lawsuit’s frivolous nature; that Andrew will most likely never even have to set foot in a courtroom; that Andrew is in no danger whatsoever of losing his fortune.

But Velaina is wrong. Somehow, inexplicably, Koila’s lawsuit is not thrown out by the court. After numerous failed attempts by Velaina to get Koila to enter into a settlement agreement with Andrew, the case is decided by the court in favor of Koila. The court orders Andrew to pay Koila the entire amount of money that she sued him for. In order to have enough money to pay Koila, Andrew has to sell all of his assets, including his mansion. After paying Koila the full amount of money that he owes her, Andrew barely has any money left in his savings account. He isn’t rich anymore.

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