Formerly rich person Andrew Squervil is in need of an inexpensive place to stay at. Currently, his living options are very limited.
Before Andrew was deservedly stripped of nearly all of his money and all of his assets, including his mansion, he had many rich acquaintances. However, all of those people now want nothing to do with Andrew, now that he is no longer rich. So, of course, none of those people would be willing to provide shelter to Andrew.
Over the past few years, Andrew seduced many, many beautiful women. He briefly thinks that perhaps one of those women would be willing to let him live in her home for free. But then Andrew quickly remembers that each of those women now despises him for one reason or another.
Andrew then remembers that he has a non-rich male friend named Martin Pimbly. Andrew and Martin attended the same college during the same time period. They met each other during their first semester. Like Andrew, Martin is a despicable person. Unlike Andrew, Martin is not at all good at attracting women. When Andrew was still rich, he often jokingly thought of Martin as Andrew’s unattractive, non-rich doppelganger. Andrew has not spoken with Martin for quite some time. Andrew recalls that, as of his most recent conversation with Martin, Martin was living alone in an apartment. Andrew intends to manipulate Martin into letting Andrew live in Martin’s apartment for free.
After getting back in touch with Martin, Andrew learns that Martin now has a girlfriend named Pustilla, and that Martin and Pustilla are now sharing an apartment. Martin invites Andrew to come to the apartment in the evening to meet Pustilla and see the apartment and have dinner with Martin and Pustilla.
Martin extended this invitation to Andrew because Martin had been envious of Andrew for years and had felt vastly inferior to Andrew for years and was happy that Andrew was no longer rich and wanted to see first-hand how miserable and desperate Andrew had become since losing nearly all of his money and all of his assets.
Andrew accepts Martin’s invitation. In the evening, Andrew goes to Martin and Pustilla’s apartment with the intention of manipulating Martin and Pustilla into letting Andrew live in the apartment for free.
Martin lets Andrew into the apartment. It is nicer than Andrew had expected.
Then Andrew sees Pustilla for the first time. Andrew instantly dislikes her. He thinks that she has a face that could crack a mirror. He doesn’t like the rest of her body either. It doesn’t surprise Andrew that this woman is Martin’s girlfriend. Martin has a long history of having girlfriends that are repulsive by Andrew’s standards.
Martin introduces Andrew and Pustilla to each other. Andrew is acting polite toward Martin and Pustilla, doing his best to not offend either of them, as Andrew still intends to ask Martin and Pustilla to let Andrew live in the apartment for free. However, as Andrew is conversing with Martin and Pustilla, Andrew is secretly thinking about how horrible it must be for Martin to have to settle for women like Pustilla, and how lucky Andrew is to be attractive enough to gain access to beautiful women instead.
Later, Andrew, Martin, and Pustilla are all sitting at the table in the apartment’s dining room, conversing and having dinner together. Andrew has still not yet made his request to be allowed to live in this apartment for free. He is biding his time, waiting for the moment when Martin and Pustilla seem most susceptible.
It is becoming increasingly obvious to Andrew, but not to Martin, that Pustilla is very attracted to Andrew. Sitting across the table from Andrew, she has been looking at him amorously and making subtly suggestive remarks to him, remarks which Martin doesn’t realize are suggestive, as he is an oblivious idiot. Pustilla’s desire for Andrew doesn’t surprise Andrew. Every previous girlfriend of Martin’s that Andrew ever met ended up revealing a desire for Andrew to Andrew. In fact, Andrew would have been more surprised if Pustilla didn’t demonstrate any desire for him. Andrew has never stolen any of Martin’s girlfriends. This is not out of any sense of loyalty to Martin, but rather because Andrew has never found any of Martin’s girlfriends attractive. Andrew doesn’t find Pustilla attractive. The very thought of being with her causes Andrew to shudder.
It is also becoming increasingly obvious to Andrew that Pustilla has complete control over Martin. Martin will do anything she asks of him, unquestionably. Thus far, it seems to Andrew that Martin is utterly incapable of expressing any thought that Pustilla isn’t in agreement with. As Martin is telling Andrew about various major life-changing decisions Martin recently made, Andrew realizes that these decisions are all decisions Martin would not have made without Pustilla’s influence.
Pustilla is telling Andrew about her successful career. “The reason that I am so successful in my career is because I always remain determined to get exactly what I want,” Pustilla says. “I always find a way to get exactly what I want, no matter how elusive my object of desire might be.” Although Martin remains oblivious, Andrew knows that Pustilla is subtly implying to Andrew that she will get to have him. Andrew smiles, confident that Pustilla will never, ever get to have him. Andrew finds great comfort in this conviction, as the idea of being with Pustilla is disgusting and horrible to him.
Andrew then decides that his moment to take action has come. He explains to Martin and Pustilla his current need for a place to stay at, trying to make the situation sound as sad as possible. Andrew then asks Martin and Pustilla if they would allow Andrew to live with them in their apartment for free for an indefinite amount of time.
Martin, who has gotten used to Pustilla telling him what to do, looks at her, waiting for her to indicate to him what his viewpoint toward Andrew’s request should be.
Much to Andrew’s surprise, Pustilla doesn’t instantly grant Andrew’s request to live in the apartment with her and Martin. Andrew figured she would be quite easy to manipulate, given her obvious attraction to Andrew. However, Pustilla says that she is not sure how she should respond to Andrew’s request. She says that she isn’t entirely sure if Andrew moving into the apartment is a good idea. She says that she isn’t sure that Andrew is her idea of an ideal roommate.
At that moment, Andrew realizes that, unbeknownst to Martin, one of Pustilla’s feet is rubbing up against Andrew underneath the table. It is then that Andrew realizes that, in order to live in this nice apartment for free, he is going to have to pay a horrible, horrible price, over and over again. Pustilla is going to get exactly what she wants, over and over again.
Unbeknownst to Martin, Andrew begins to gently massage Pustilla’s foot underneath the table. “I will do whatever I need to do to be your ideal roommate,” Andrew says, speaking to Pustilla.
Pustilla tells Andrew that he can live in her and Martin’s apartment for free, but she warns Andrew that she will evict him from the apartment if he ever stops being her idea of an ideal roommate. Andrew knows what that means.
Andrew moves into the apartment that same evening. Since the apartment only has one bedroom, which is where Martin and Pustilla sleep, Andrew is to sleep on the couch in the apartment’s living room.
Later, after Martin has fallen asleep in the bedroom, Pustilla gets out of their bed. She goes into the living room to get what she wants.